video;

[dissemble]

[Hello, Heropa and other assorted cities. Have you ever visited the big prison where they keep imports? You should, if only to see for yourself the appalling state the import-only section is in. Not particularly attractive, and the solid grey wall behind Lucifer shows signs of rather old graffiti.

It's that and the orange jumpsuit which give Lucifer away as currently being an inmate of Heropa's most secure. The corners of his mouth are turned up and it looks like his expression should be a pleasant one, but most people probably know by now not to mistake that for a smile.]

I really have to commend whoever it is behind this little trap. You've put a lot of work into making sure there's no way home without your say-so.

I hope it's worth it.

[There's a rumble in the background, someone talking in a deep enough tone that the feed can't quite pick it up.

Lucifer looks offscreen.] It certainly does, Bill. It certainly does.

[Another, slightly more disgruntled offscreen rumble and he turns back to the camera.]

My devoutly agnostic guard Bill here would like to mention that anyone thinking of following in my footsteps should think again. Apparently there's space enough in here for everyone who doesn't do what they're told.

Seems I'll be getting to know you all better after all.


One way or another.



[Oh, yes. You may have read in the papers or seen reports on tv about the start of Lucifer's trial. He empathised thoroughly with two weeping mothers who had lost family members, ignored all the lawyers, pointed out that he was technically not guilty of at least a third (but more like three-quarters) of the charges he was being brought up on, and (correctly) accused the one of the jury of possessing child pornography.

The less said about the Satanists camping outside the courthouse the better.

Stay tuned!]

Comments

[larker]

Well maybe one day there'll be a piano. A perfectly timed, falling piano. Just for him.

[What? It's not outright saying he wants to murder someone, no-one else knows Gabriel's trickster stint that actually involved a piano at one point.]

[dissemble]

Careful, brother. [Camera pan over his shoulder. Bill the Guard is sitting just outside the cell and within earshot. He scowls.]

[larker]

[Actually has the audacity to wave in Bill's direction, a little wriggle of the fingers.]

Chill out. I don't think pianos are on the forecast for the foreseeable future. So, how's jail?

[dissemble]

Dusty.

[A rumble from Bill and-] Yes, that's him.

[larker]

I'll bring you a duster when I visit.

[Headtilt.] "Him", what?

[dissemble]

[You figure it out.]

Bring me something to read as well. Living in a linear existence is bad enough, but having to do so in the same place?

[larker]

[You better not be talking shit, Lucifer.]

How am I meant to know what you like to read? War and Peace? Twilight? The entire Grimms fairy tail collection?

[dissemble]

[How's he meant to know what he likes to read? This crap is all human-made.]

Surprise me.

[larker]

Pft. How about I surprise you by just not showing up?

What about that?

[dissemble]

That wouldn't surprise me at all.

[What a dissapointment you are, Gabriel.]

[larker]

You're such a pessimist.

Hey put Bill on. I reckon he might be more interesting a conversation.

[dissemble]

[To Bill-] Well?

[A short rumble.]

Guess he's not interested. Work on your pitch.