video; the road not taken

[rathercommon]

[ Sitting before the screen is Kitty Jones...or, well. A girl who looks like Kitty. A girl who sort of looks like Kitty. Because whereas Kitty Jones tends to be cute, this girl is flawlessly, sleekly elegant - fiercely beautiful in a way that only very expensive haircuts and very expensive cosmetics can accomplish. Her bearing is different - unsmiling, haughty, eyeing the camera with contempt - and her accent, too, is altered - posh, educated, a little drawling. She speaks in a low and authoritative voice, beginning straightaway with no hesitation. ]

Since quite a few people are having a bit of trouble with this, I'd like to first introduce myself, so that no one calls me anything silly. My name is Medea LeFay. I'm a Junior Undersecretary with the Ministry for Internal Affairs. Some of you may think I have some other name, but I have reason to believe that the creature that resembles me was actually a demon taking my face in an attempt to slander and discredit me.

[ She...actually has reason to believe that the creature was in fact some other version of her, but, well...best to try to spread a bit of misinformation, to reduce the possibility that anyone will try to use the name Kitty Jones to cast harmful magic on her. ]

Second - [ She tosses her head, flipping her perfect glossy hair over her shoulder. ] I have been made to understand through my research and investigations that events such as those which have befallen us, with memory-alterations or dimensional displacement, are often followed by an attack by some foreign power or dissident group. My home is adequately warded, and as a magician of the first order I am thoroughly prepared and able to defend it. If an attack comes, any who find themselves in need of sanctuary may find refuge with me.

[ And doesn't that seem like an attractive offer? Because this girl seems like someone who would be so fun to spend time with. So fun. ]

And third...I have heard speculation that these changes have been brought about by magical means. As I stated, I am a magician myself, and have no knowledge of any spells that can cause confusion of this sort. What evidence do we have that magic is at its root? Any who have knowledge of this, speak; I charge you.

[ Then a beat. ]

And fourth...My home seems to be infested with these - small creatures. Crab-like, but with colorful shells. They seem to be pets. What are they, and how does one care for them?

[ what a nice-seeming young lady this is. ]

Comments

video; let's just make both of them regret everything when the plot's done

[helpline]

Grumpy lady! [ oh sweet jesus it's him. ] Well it's certainly not anything time related because the temporal whatsit detector isn't going 'ping.'

video; god yes please

[rathercommon]

[ Oh sweet jesus. It's him. She lifts a finger to her forehead in a theatrical show of annoyance, but asks: ]

Right. And what, pray tell, is a temporal-whatsit-detector?

video;

[helpline]

It detects temporal whatsits, duuuuuuh. [ ask a stupid question... ] Usually you can tell with these things if someone's been shifted around in time. There'll be little leftover bits floating about, it'll attract other bigger nastier things, it'll show up on scanners, and so on and so forth. With this? Nothing.

[video]

[homerunning]

[Kitty, you're looking more...upper class as of late. In case you didn't know.


Cue Junpei's eyebrows at full 'perked' position.]

Kitty?

[It comes out before he can stop it--sorry, boy's just surprised.]

I-I mean...Ms. LeFay. Did I say that right?


Dude...what happened? Why are you suddenly so--[Rich?]--aarrrticulate?

[video]

[rathercommon]

[ Her thick brows draw down dangerously at the word Kitty, then relax when he corrects himself. She lifts her chin and answers, her voice haughty: ]

I have always been articulate. The issue is that you have confused me for some small-minded, unintelligent, thuggish creature who had the audacity to steal my face.

[video]

[homerunning]

Wh-What the hell?

[This is the most surreal thing he's had to experience this month. And he brought home a 12 foot python just the other week.]

First off, don't talk that way about y-...her. She's hella smart. And I'm talking about her in the third perrrssooonn~

[Wait. Back on topic.]

Second off, who are you trying to impress? You think people actually LIKE that attitude?

voice;

[ofgoldenfoil]

What is magic?

[ He likes the word. He long wish that he can somehow change how the gems shine in his grotto, or actually fly. ]

voice;

[rathercommon]

[ Oh. Her expression gets a little less brittle. Her voice gets less harsh. She brushes her hair from her face. ]

It's the ability to harness mystical energies to bring about physical changes in the world about you. You've never heard of it? It seems that even worlds without it have folklore about it.

voice;

[ofgoldenfoil]

Before I came here my entire world was the grotto. That, and my other nestmates. And the bats that come in. But I never heard of magic before.

video;

[textualhealing]

[While this may be a much sleeker version of Kitty, Jeff's looking like a more disheveled version of himself, hair barely styled and beard not entirely groomed. Even his voice comes out as more of a growl.]

Kitty, right?

[Trolling or genuine? No one will ever know.]

video;

[rathercommon]

[ She lets out a growl of anger and frustration. ]

Medea. Medea LeFay. Who are you?

video;

[textualhealing]

[Her annoyance gets the smallest twitch of his lips, a smirk threatening to make an appearance but never quite succeeding.]

Jeff. Jeff Winger. I'm sure we've met.

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

You'll have to forgive the myrmidons who won't recognize your name, Ms. LeFay.

voice;

[rathercommon]

[ She relaxes a bit. Finally, someone speaking to her like a human being... ]

I stopped hoping a while ago that there would be anyone familiar with me. It's clear that there's nearly no one from my world here, and even he doesn't know me. So I am not offended.

You are...?

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Frederick. [A quick beat -- he clears his throat.] Doctor Chilton, actually.

This world is not kind to memory, it seems.

[wizzardly]

[oh hey again.]

I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but there's really no point in everyone continuing to work themselves up. There's no attack coming. He's already promised to fix this, it shouldn't be too long before this whole strange event is behind us.

[except Billy hasn't exactly... made that public yet, has he? Any of that. So Rincewind also adds:]

Anyway, Kitty's no creature.

[rathercommon]

[ She frowns. ]

She is. She's a stupid, arrogant, uneducated commoner. Even if she's human she's still a creature. What's all that about he promised to fix it?

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Hermit crabs? Are they hermit crabs? Cause I don't think I gave you enough of them for an 'infestation'...

[rathercommon]

Is that what they are? With painted seashells? This one's shell appears to have a moving map of the stars enchanted upon it.

video

[dendarii]

... Well you could have told me you had crabs before you slept with me.

video oh my god

[rathercommon]

...What?

video; Display name is the S-shield

[andaway]

[He almost whispers 'Kitty' before he can stop himself. Whoever this is, whoever she would have become- she obviously doesn't want that name to be used.

So he stops himself in time, and just sighs. He'd actually missed her.]

I am very, very vulnerable to magic. Some people have suggested it's like an allergy. And yet I haven't been affected.

I'd say that's a hint it may not be magic related?

video;

[rathercommon]

[ Her eyes narrow suspiciously at that piece of information. He must be lying. There's no way that he would trust her with that information when he doesn't know her. Right? ]

Is that so? And where does this allergy of yours come from?

video

[khajidont]

[Oh, sweet baby Jesus. Jaime knows by now that some funky business is going on, and while this Kitty seems a little unpleasant, there's no way he's leaving her high and dry. So, politely:]

Not a demon. Another version of you, actually, and a lot of people love her. But I get that it's probably weird to come here with a lot of people knowing a different version of you.

[He smiles! He always does, for newcomers.]

Could you take a picture of your pets for me? I'm not sure what they are, but if I see them, maybe I could give you a few tips on taking care of them.

video

[rathercommon]

[ She purses her lips. ]

First, if she is not a demon - which is perhaps a possibility, but still - she is a wretched, horrible creature. A violent thug. And second -

[ She flips her hair. ]

How does one...take a picture?