video; open to action for Hotel Castile residents

[wizzardly]

This - !

[is an angry wizard, actually, in a lovely little hotel room. A wizard who is only on his second glass of wine. But he seems to be referencing the movie he's waving angrily at his communicator.

It's "The Wizard of Oz".]

- This is terrible! An absolute mockery, is what it is! I've had so many people bringing this up, and I think to watch it for myself, and I find - I find - right, so, the wizard is a fake. Let's address that first of all, shall we? They all go on this big quest to get to the wizard, and he's fake, but how did the people not realize that in the first place, that's what I want to know.

He doesn't even have a pointy hat.

[Rincewind waves a hand.]

It's all a bad message, is what it is! Making wizards look bad! And look, the whole thing about witches being green - I mean honestly, witches are scary enough on their own without all that. That's obviously added. And the flying monkeys -

[he shudders. Never mind, not addressing those. Those were terrifying.]

But I've certainly never heard anything about them melting with a bit of water. Even trained hydrophobes don't do that. Bloody ridiculous.

The whole thing is ridiculous, is what I'm really getting at. We're supposed to believe a scarecrow which can talk and walk about is brainless? Or what about it trying to get everyone to buy that the strange man with ribbons in his hair is "a lion"? And ignoring that whole bit about how this Dorothy person could have just clicked her heels the whole time, enchanted shoes aren't what they're cracked up to be in the first place, the University can tell you. Half of her would have probably been teleported back to Kansas faster than the other half, and that would have certainly been a bloody mess. Very gruesome.

Anyway, it was hideous and I don't understand why so many of you reference it in the first place.

[two thumbs down, says newly self-appointed movie critic Rincewind; only one and a half poorly-sequined stars.]

Comments

video

[jacksonian]

[ Ummmmmm??? Offense????? ]

Clones have biology just like whatever they were cloned from.

[glitterateur]

Well yeah except for the ones made on copiers.

[Obviously. ]

[jacksonian]

[ Wha...at. Okay, he was all set to be mean and angry at this little girl, but that answer is just so bizarre - ]

What's a...copier?

[glitterateur]

It's a big machine that usually just makes copies of papers but we found one that could make copies of people.

[jacksonian]

But that's not how cloning works...Clones are - Samples of genetic material are taken, and they're used as the basis for cells which then split and form a new person. Starting from a baby. It's not making copies of a person.

[glitterateur]

I mean it kind of is! A genetic copy, you know? [Mabel knows about that whole cloned sheep, she's got this.] Good thing that copier was more advanced than your average cloning thingy though because ohhh man, dealing with like fourteen baby versions of my brother would have been the worst.

[jacksonian]

No, that's...

[ He reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose. ]

I'm talking about in the real world.

[glitterateur]

Yeah, me too!

[jacksonian]

No, you're not. There's - there's not any situation in which clones are made like that. It's not - possible. Not with any technology in any world.

[glitterateur]

Nooo, nooo, nope, see-- it definitely happened in my world? I was there. My world's a little weird so I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't exist in anyone else's.

[jacksonian]

It doesn't. I can say that very confidently.

[ He frowns. ]

And you shouldn't spread that sort of information about clones around.

[glitterateur]

Even if I say that it's only certain clones?

[jacksonian]

Yeah. Even then.

[glitterateur]

Okay! It seems kinda like asking for trouble, not letting people know that it's a possibility that clones could melt if you give them soda or something.

[jacksonian]

Clones can't melt if you give them soda. Clones like soda.

[glitterateur]

Some clones melt if you give them soda.

[jacksonian]

Stop saying that. It just makes us sound not human.

[glitterateur]

[Whoa whoa whoooa now. Mabel pauses, the possibility of dehumanization via language and soda obviously never occurring to her.]

What?! No! It's just like an allergy!

[jacksonian]

Yeah. But do you know any person that has an allergy to water?

[glitterateur]

No but one of my classmates in fifth grade was allergic to apples?

[jacksonian]

That's not even remotely the same thing.

My point is that humans are mostly water, so they can't just be allergic to water. The things made on the copier clearly just weren't clones.

[glitterateur]

I mean they looked like him, and they talked like him, and they overplanned like him and ate his favorite cheesy crackers.... And they're definitely their own people 'cause I know a couple of them went rogue and are living out on their own! So if clone isn't what they are then what are they, huh?

[jacksonian]

I don't know. But definitely not clones. Clones are their own people. They don't have the same personalities as their progenitors.

[ A pause. ]

Anyway, the ones that got wet - did they die?

[glitterateur]

But I said they were their own people! [Huff! She's not used to not being listened to or believed around these parts.] They just had a lot in common with Dipper.

[She gives a little nod.]

I think so? 'Cause they melted. So they died like the witch did in Wizard of Oz.

[jacksonian]

Was anything done for them afterwards?