video;

[helpline]

[ The Doctor gives the camera a grin and a little nod. ]

Hello network! Just have a quick question here, time to take a roll call! Who's got magical creepy healing powers?

[ this is "being subtle." Sorry Clara. There's a big grin before, ]

Oh! Also, how do you own a shop? Apparently I got promoted. I've worked in a shop before but I don't think I've ever owned one.

Comments

~*flashback*~

[helpline]

Well, it's a watch shop. [ said in a tone that's "yeah, I KNOW" ] There's usually enough people to keep the shop running but really, that's about it.

war flashback, more like

[deadtective]

You might wanna start running around swinging a hammer at people's wrists, then.

yeah definitely war flashbacks

[helpline]

Hazel, I know you know this, if I break their wrist, they can't wear a watch.

sorry bro

[deadtective]

That's why you only break one, dipshit. And then sell them a regular watch and one that fits over the cast.

wamp wamp waaaaaamp

[helpline]

You know, that's a good idea. [ and before Hazel can go "wait what no" he continues. ] Why aren't cast watches a thing?

[deadtective]

[that's your first mistake, Doctor, assuming she was being sarcastic.]

Because people are still being assholes to the handicapped even in this day and age, I guess.

[that might be facetious, though]

[helpline]

Mmm, I'm afraid you're right about that.

[ said with a little sigh. ] All the more reason for us to get cast watches rolling!

[deadtective]

You do the boring shit and I'll go buy a hammer.

[helpline]

Of course that's how it is.

[deadtective]

Your fault for not calling dibs when you had the chance.

[helpline]

Next time I rope you into doing something with me, I'll call dibs before I explain the details.

[deadtective]

Good luck, I never agree to shit without hearing what it is first.

[helpline]

I'll call dibs while I explain the details, then.

[deadtective]

That's fine, 'cause I call dibs on all the fun parts of every bullshit scheme you wanna pull me into for the next thousand years.

[YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, PREEMPTIVE DIBS. WHO'S SORRY NOW.]

[helpline]

That's not how dibs work.

[ said in a tone of "duh" ]

[deadtective]

It is now.

[oops she also called dibs on how calling dibs works DEAL W/IT]

[helpline]

No, it's really not. Are we going to argue about this because you're wrong.

[deadtective]

Of course we're not gonna argue. You're supposed to let old people think they're right to keep them from getting worked up and hurting themselves.

[helpline]

You've got to let young snots touch the metaphorical burner a couple of times so they learn not to do it in the first place.

[deadtective]

Have I ever been trained out of doing anything in the time you've known me?

[the answer is no. Hazel is unconditionable.]

[helpline]

First time for everything!

[ he knows the answer is no ]

[deadtective]

Maybe you should hold your breath until it happens, then.

[helpline]

I can hold my breath for a while but I don't think that long.

[deadtective]

First time for everything, right?

[helpline]

Let's have a contest like getting things off the top shelves instead.