maskormenace | (no subject)

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[On the network is what appears to be a young boy, about 12 or 13 years old. For a moment, he stares quite soulfully at the video output impossibly deep, black eyes, and then pokes at the screen with one fingernail.]

Not even a proper imp in there, how's that for you...?

[He pulls back and mimes clearing his throat. A voice far, far more booming than is fit for the child's face resounds across the feed.]

Right, broadcast. AHEM. This is just a friendly, non-suspicious question, inquiring on when the next coup or violent overthrow of this government is going to be. Not that I'm actually advocating it, I just know you humans really can't resist.

I'm pretty handy with a popcorn machine if anyone can provide good seats.

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Right. And what made you impressive?

Do you have an hour?

In three sentences, please.

Very well, challenge accepted. That didn't count, by the way. Neither did that.

[ He holds a hand up, finger raised, like a conductor before a symphony. ]

I would say, working with perhaps a millionth of the power that I should have no thanks to either of you and your summonings when I could have been properly resting for a few centuries - as much as I understand your feeble bodies can't withstand time quite so well it was particularly inconsiderate - I had managed to defeat several foes, survive multiple traps, through nothing but my amazing cunning, skill, wit and impeccable ability to run away when pressed for all of those things nonconducive to life such as time, energy and herons. Furthermore - this is two - because you didn't say I couldn't use runons as a narrative device you really should watch your wording on these things you'll never make a good magician like that and I'm thankful for that, I'd come through with the particular know how and ingenuity necessary to handle certain all powerful devices which were certainly not any power of humans but a few poor really bored marids but its still not the most powerful thing I've ever handled which you wouldn't even believe what the biggest one was I rather wonder what happened to them, but no matter. And for the third and final sentence as I'm sure you've been riveted waiting for is by the sheer power and excellence of my presence alone which had certainly quelled the enemies and struck fear into them even in my particularly sad and squashable state.

[ She'd taken breaths about five times during that speech to try to cut in - with no success. Now that he's finally wrapped up, Kitty sighs, momentarily at a loss for words, rubbing at her eyelids in a mixture of despair and - well - honest charmed amusement. Damn it, Bartimaeus. ]

Well, Miles is like that. Small and squishable, but cunning and skillful and witty and all that.

[ That's the benefit of not having to breathe. Not to mention, there's a certain problem Bartimaeus has with masters not letting him get a word in.

So there was a nice hundred. ]

And looks entirely too clever for my own good. This is just preventative self care.

For your good?

Oh, considering he knows my name. Somehow. [ It might have been entirely what kicked off all of THIS. ]

Oh.

[ Shit. ]

Well, that's - my fault.

He mentioned. [ Bartimaeus' voice is dry and flat for those two words, and then rises right back up into a cheerful cant. ]

Not to worry, I'll have him not wanting to deal with me ever before the day's out.

He...won't ever use your name against you, though.

[ She twists a strand of her hair around her finger. ]

He's a good person.

He comes off as a desperate one, actually.

Ooh, and what, how someone comes across is how they actually are?

Usually. You have to admit, most humans have the depth of their pockets.

Of the humans you've known. Who have tended to be the absolute dregs of humanity.

[ He shrugs Ptolemy's shoulders. ]

Almost overwhelmingly so.

So there could be more types of people than just the ones you know, couldn't there?

And you're going to wrap this up with a heartwarming story about how he's clearly a good example?

No, I'm going to wrap it up by pointing out that you might be five thousand odd years old, but you're still naive in certain regards. That's all. And it's worth it to be open to new experiences. And arseholes turning out all right - I mean, you of all people know that's quite possible.

I'm topped off in both of those categories.

Rubbish. You've got so much to learn.

Oh? Like what? Lets leave your particularly biased subject over there aside.

Well, first - you've got a lot more of the world to see, haven't you? I bet you've scarcely seen any of it at all. Have you ever been to the Grand Canyon?

[ There's the sort of still that only can happen when you forget to animate one's body for a moment. The thought strikes him THAT much. ]

Oh. You know, I haven't seen that in millennia...

I could go anywhere, couldn't I? Not a thing stopping me.

Well.

[ She holds up a quelling hand. ]

The government will sometimes limit international travel if they can. So if you want to go to Egypt or something, it's got to be done quietly and subtly. But...yeah. You really could. And if you want to hang about with me for a while - not that you've got to, of course, just if you want to - I've got a lot I'd love to show you.