O4 👶 ANON TEXT;

[pillz]

(cw murder, survivor's guilt, brainwashing?, jokes at the expense of trauma survivors, etc.)

good morning assholes

[(it's 3:00pm est.)]

u all remember the blackout shit mid jan 2017. count dooku rounded up 1direction to look @ the prison breakout using our magical superpowers. this is what we found.

short: electronics went out. nobody got any idea why but pi adachi believes its strictly tech. b4 they knew it, prisoners got loose & it was a fuckin massacre inside the compound walls

guards: some of them wuz evil. obv an inside job. these fucks maybe straight up disappeared pre riot? the ones who r left remember hearing a coupla them speaking german b4 they fucked off. then some of the guards wuz good. lots of the ones who didn't split got teh shit murdered out of them in gross ways. belt strangles, shivs in scandalous places. u should send the families fruit baskets. somethign classy. no melon. the survivors r pretty traumatized & sad about their friends. do not add melon to injury.

prisoners: got their hands on weapons hid all over the place. bathrooms, buttholes, walls, u know. seems likely some extra shit got snuck in or turned a blind eye to. the rioters were in weird shape psychologically. pissed @ the law & imports, but in a way that wuz ramping up kind of maybe unnatural while they were behind bars. dr. chilton needs 2 get them some ketamine therapy. make buttsex not riots.

other weird shit: 1 russian nullifier device found on scene. govt took it. it was totqlly broken anyway.

govt: wont give us surveillance tapes or let us go past the tape & there was tape fucking everywhere

Comments

[glowsferatu]

if you say you dont then i suppose you dont
im not going to argue that

though i will question why you think they can find us
and why the russians didnt use that capability during this hijack

[pillz]

i dunno
they got me pretty good @ their dumbufck boot camp
but i guess i got other ways & means
of > finding ppl
whats > having mean 2 u

[glowsferatu]

losing ones capacity to choose
whether through direct or indirect manipulation to leave someone without any options but the design youve made for them
the russians tried to have us last year
but we banded together and fought them off

ive said for three years that the americans would face the same if they tried anything
but nothing yet has happened to bring us to that point

[pillz]

anybody ever tell you u kinda set the bar so fuckin low that the government rolls over it on the inertia an velocity of a long slow fart

[glowsferatu]

i set the bar where it can be realistically achieved
to match a level i have legitimately had to fight to reach for most of my life
it isnt my fault your entire species is so delicate
none more so than americans

tw hitler \@_@/

[pillz]

wow

[that's a genuine wow.]

someday im gonna ask u about ur opinion on hitler but i guess since grmans is current its 2 soo\n
wut did u do du ring the invasion last yr anyway
just like
hold up a lil sign that had '7' painted on it
2 let them know the russians were comin in 2nd place to our friendly usa overlords

[glowsferatu]

youre a bit of a daft one arent you
i hope you dont try to trade on being clever
that would be embarrassing

ill have you know i was one of the primary organizers for the resistance against the russians
i coordinated and placed our people when we won back the porter
and when they came to the helix station i fought them off
so whatever hyerbolic vision of me as some doormat for despots youve developed in your head because i think youre vastly overstating how bad things are at present
it isnt remotely accurate to the real person
i know where to draw the line and it isnt at mild inconvenience

hitler would be well beyond that line from what i understand of him
but ive fought actual nazis before and let me tell you
they always start within the import community and not outside of it

[pillz]

no shit?
we got us some nazis?

[shitty eighteen-year-old boys can be relied upon to be moved, at least temporarily, by nazis.]

[glowsferatu]

[ And uptight nineteen-year-old girls can be relied upon to roll their eyes. Pretty regularly, even. ]

Had
this was years ago
back on the last earth the porter brought us to
worse still they were siring vampires
gave rather a negative reputation to an upstanding bloodsucker like myself

[pillz]

[much eyerolling awaits in their mutual future if a mutual future there is.]

nobody can color inside the linez of their fuckin genre anymore goddamn
how do u upstand when u a vampire
u only drink beef blood or something

[glowsferatu]

its pretty easy actually
you just dont treat people like cattle and start killing them simply because youre hungry

[pillz]

oh
ure one of em sexy vampires
romance novel shit
i see how it is

[glowsferatu]

why does it have to be romance novel shit to value lives that arent my own

[pillz]

cuz oyu a vampire
and like u said
you guys got a bad name
standards of romance are
lower i guess. or all jacked up wit teeth anyway

[glowsferatu]

so not only have you never spoken to a vampire before today
but im going to guess from this that youve never read a romance novel either

[ When he shits on her business, he's sure got to shit on all of her business. ]

[pillz]

i said 2 words 2 a vampire once
mayb just 1
look
if u eat some russians or germans or whatever ill stay off ur jock
everybody wins except the russians or germans
but hwatever we got enough white ppl anyway
whats in romance novels

[glowsferatu]

romance typically

and i dont think one or two words really counts
not when my point is youve let fiction dictate how you feel a vampire should behave
and frankly thats just silly

irl cracking up

[pillz]

[:V ...................... :v ....

..... 8v...]

no tone fo voice on text
r u using a sarcastic textin tone

[glowsferatu]

probably

[ Or, as a friend once described it, "resting bitch tone". ]

[pillz]

[that's it exactly.]

wat scholastic literature do u reocmmend 2 learn about vampires

[glowsferatu]

this world didnt even know that vampires were a real thing until i got here
they had nothing in place to account for imports who might have our particular needs
on top of that you have nearly as many variations in the condition as occurrences
the book youre asking for doesnt exist
no one from this world would even know how to write it

[pillz]

man
what the fuk else u gonan expect people 2 base their shit off then
u dont got time 2 give the 411 to every fuckin moron on the planet who got an interest in ur fangs & weird blood habit

[tbf he probably also believes in that men are from mars bullshit too. individual variability takes too much effort, kanaya!]

[glowsferatu]

i know this is probably a wild idea im about to introduce but just hear me out
if the best think you have to base your opinion on someone you didnt know really existed before is horror fiction
maybe your experiences are limited enough that you should let the person as they are establish a better precedent for what you think of them over a silly preconception

one might as well expect that i plan to conquer this planet simply because im not native to it

cw sexual vulgarity, vaginal dentata?? idk is this an appropriate cw I HAVE NO IDEA

[pillz]

[that text message has way too much going on.]

hold the fuckin phone gritch
i thought u wuz a vampire
r u a vampire or a alien?
if u r an alien wit fangs on ur labia or somethin that doesnt count as a vampire
even if u have no period

[how many genres does ms paint adventures cover, let us count them.]

[glowsferatu]

[ but if her fangs were there she'd probably starve... ]

first off and for the record fuck you
are you capable of maintaining a conversation without being a creep

second of all the first thing i told you is that im an alien are you honestly telling me youre only now putting the two together
theyre not mutually exclusive either not everyone in my species is a vampire
its a rare condition limited to a rare caste that i happen to be a member of
hence the green
youd be able to see my fangs in pretty much any photo of me theyre fairly prominent
and on my face