O4 👶 ANON TEXT;

[pillz]

(cw murder, survivor's guilt, brainwashing?, jokes at the expense of trauma survivors, etc.)

good morning assholes

[(it's 3:00pm est.)]

u all remember the blackout shit mid jan 2017. count dooku rounded up 1direction to look @ the prison breakout using our magical superpowers. this is what we found.

short: electronics went out. nobody got any idea why but pi adachi believes its strictly tech. b4 they knew it, prisoners got loose & it was a fuckin massacre inside the compound walls

guards: some of them wuz evil. obv an inside job. these fucks maybe straight up disappeared pre riot? the ones who r left remember hearing a coupla them speaking german b4 they fucked off. then some of the guards wuz good. lots of the ones who didn't split got teh shit murdered out of them in gross ways. belt strangles, shivs in scandalous places. u should send the families fruit baskets. somethign classy. no melon. the survivors r pretty traumatized & sad about their friends. do not add melon to injury.

prisoners: got their hands on weapons hid all over the place. bathrooms, buttholes, walls, u know. seems likely some extra shit got snuck in or turned a blind eye to. the rioters were in weird shape psychologically. pissed @ the law & imports, but in a way that wuz ramping up kind of maybe unnatural while they were behind bars. dr. chilton needs 2 get them some ketamine therapy. make buttsex not riots.

other weird shit: 1 russian nullifier device found on scene. govt took it. it was totqlly broken anyway.

govt: wont give us surveillance tapes or let us go past the tape & there was tape fucking everywhere

Comments

[raw]

What's the point of being anonymous if you don't even change your typing style?

[pillz]

who ar you
what do u know about my typing style

Text

[dun_moch]

[Kavinsky.]

Thank you for sharing this information, my anonymous friend. However, I must make a correction. I assembled a team of powerful imPorts who were willing to help. Not this... '1direction.'

[What is pop music.]

text;

[brushoff]

Oh my God today's my lucky day.

[ And in the post, Dorian links to a song by whatever this world's equivalent of One Direction is ]

cw sexual vulgarity

[pillz]

man
can you just take it like a compliment
idk
picture us all in sailor costumes w our penises pointed in one directoin
under ur direction

[quemar]

did you and the band get the number of convicts still at large?

[pillz]

not that i heard but i can pass the question along
havent been keepin up
do u know how many the spandex hav caught

text;

[brushoff]

I'm seconding the other guy: you're far too obvious. Change your typing style, sweetie.

What I don't understand is why give Dooku the credit and not step out from behind the curtain yourself?

text;

[pillz]

bug mooom
i dunno
dont want ppl to start suddenly asking me for help ro some shit
pretty sure the only reason they wanted me 2 type it up is i dont have a day job
no pros only cons

[darwinatrix]

Tell me about the Russian nullifier.

[pillz]

familiar make and model.
same deal that fucked us over last year when they came in their ltitle red boats.
but this one was all jacked up. smashed. we got some tech people & it looked like it couldnt b fixed.
like i said the feds took it fast.
probably r&d
u got thoughts?

text

[glowsferatu]

thats all a very
colorful way of sharing information

id ask what sort of credentials you tried to present to gain access to the surveillance but im not sure id like whatever form the answer arrived in
instead ill just ask whats wrong with melon

[pillz]

idk man it looks like ure way more > colorful than me
im gonna be stragiht with you, i didnt present credentials, left that shit to dookie. & you know hes got some. or at least the rest of the band has some. idk. it didn't fly
i can ask em for more deets if u want
melon tastes lke shit!
whats wit the green

text - also anon

[nastygram]

ur music suuuuuuucks zayn
but your deets are ok



did the survivors tell u the nullifier was broken

[pillz]

that's the hot one right

nah we saw it
looked all kinds fo fucked up
doubt they was using it on guards anyway they don't have owes?
do u know about connection d btwn rudsia and germaby

text

[rathercommon]

[ Gosh whoever could this mega-mysterious anon be ]

Thank you for sharing this. And thank you for looking into it in the first place. That was an awfully kind thing to do, using your time like that.

[pillz]

[... >%O]

i was bored of steak

[morethan084]

Is this your version of being anonymous? Get off anon and private message me. I need information.

cw racism

[pillz]

i thought aszns are spposed to have good goddman manners

[incogneto]

What did the device look like?

[pillz]

what do u mean
it looked like the exact same shit we faced down last year
idk
do u need like adverbs

text;

[sassguard]

Don't suppose anyone who actually speaks German understood what the guards were saying before they got out, did they?

text;

[pillz]

no
not anyobdy willing 2 talk to us anyway
mayb if u plied themw strawberry baskets

[sleight_of_hand]

[ Uh... wow. That was... one hell of a post. He wasn't one to rag on people for their texting, but damn, that hurt his delicate sensibilities. ]

Uh. Thanks for the namedrop. I think.

[pillz]

yw
now u famous baby
make some of that money