Genda Koujirou (
beastfang) wrote in
maskormenace2017-02-04 03:39 pm
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Block 001 [Text]
[Normally this is something Genda would never do, but from what he's figured out from just skimming the network the pool of information is a lot more widespread then just one city. That will take too long in regards to one objective.]
The standard syllabus that I've been capable of finding seems overly generic, and hardly tailored for those who did not grow up in this culture. Is this schooling mandatory or are there specialized accelerated programs specifically for those not from here?
[A few moments later, as if added as an after thought.]
Who scored the second point in the Teikoku vs. Raimon elimination match, and what was the final score?
The standard syllabus that I've been capable of finding seems overly generic, and hardly tailored for those who did not grow up in this culture. Is this schooling mandatory or are there specialized accelerated programs specifically for those not from here?
[A few moments later, as if added as an after thought.]
Who scored the second point in the Teikoku vs. Raimon elimination match, and what was the final score?
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[Hunting any lead that may prove fruitful would always happen, but if there were particular topics that should ranked higher then others in actively pursuing it would make the proverbial grid work better in unearthing facts.
The offer and warning regarding the notebook only gains a sharp nod of acknowledgement. He understands the reasoning behind such and sees no reason to question either aspect.]
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[Which Genda just barely missed, but Kidou faithfully recorded enough that that won't matter. 'We warned you' implies there would be. And if there's more than one message, the entirety of the hidden meaning might only be clear with them all strung together.]
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I'll keep a look out for any patterns.
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[The reply is clipped, their interaction strictly formal now, although there's a comforting kind of normalcy to it. Kidou doesn't miss the change in his friend, or what it means; they're back to old, all too familiar patterns themselves now. This time there's no one giving Kidou orders of his own.
He's not sure how he feels about this. Genda's acceptance of his leadership makes some sense, but Kidou would prefer not having been given it because of what could easily be Genda's lack of trust in his own judgement. That's new.
But not unexpected.
There's nothing Kidou can do about that. It is what it is, so he'll simply be what his friend asks of him without question or potentially damaging observations. This situation could be - likely is - still very delicate, so Kidou can't risk pushing Genda with questions. All he should give is direction.]
Additionally, I'm keeping an eye out for what powers people have here.
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There was still something that was there that shouldn't be, but the only thing that could be such was something he couldn't see but Kidou was aware of. Was he wrong to let himself establish himself under Kidou when he used the told title for him? Did his intention to show his trust in regards to what Kidou likely knows from however long he seemingly has been here that he hinted at form his text? If he didn't want that affiliation again would Kidou have agreed to such though?
He would have to think on such later.]
Generalized or as specific as feasible?
[Because if any of these people are even half as wary as he is he would be keeping as much close to chest outside of a select few.]
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But he still is here, and he's doing his best to brief Genda on everything he can.]
Both. It's my intention to have at least an idea about everyone here, but so far, I haven't had as much luck as I'd like.
["If you don't find out much, that's okay."]
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The only conclusion was to fade back and only insert himself into Kidou's life when the need was necessary in regards to these projects. He didn't actually want to do such, because Kidou is(?) was(?) his friend even if just by his own definition of such. Yet, with what he was observing inserting himself even more into Kidou's life was problematic.
It's easy to lock such doubts down and keep such thoughts from his face as he once again nods in understanding. Even his lack of verbalizing, many just took for granted or that he 'reached his word limit for the day'. Kidou clearly wished to say what needed to be said and thus leave.]
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Kidou has a suspicion. Maybe he's just paranoid by now, watching Genda for any sign of something worth worrying about. Or maybe he's overstayed his welcome already. This whole visit has been odd, to say the least, but he did accomplish what he really needed to: Genda knows what's going on, and he knows enough before registration comes up that he can make a truly informed decision. Kidou won't need to mention that for him to mull the option over.
And he knows enough to have an idea of just where he is, and what not to trust. Kidou can't do anything more for him than follow through on that power. Genda did give the choice to Kidou, and therefore it all rested on him to make it happen once he decided.
Not for the first time, he found himself wishing he knew what his friend was thinking. Not for the first time, he knew that he'd be hard pressed to figure it out off the field. Genda was unreadable for a large part of the time. He was specifically aiming to be.
He almost asks if there's anything that Genda needs, or anything he can do for him, but he stops himself. Genda's pride likely would not allow him to answer, especially if he's currently at odds with Kidou. So as much as he wants to, he shouldn't even bring it up. Genda will take care of himself.
Kidou's head tilts down a little more in thought as he quickly searches for anything else he ought to mention. There's got to be more. Hmm... what hasn't he covered...]
Something else you should know. There's a monthly event hosted by the government to get people to sign up with them. They're always different, so expect anything. Usually, they're safe, but sometimes they can be very dangerous. If you go, be aware of that.
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He's not really at east with the thought of signing himself over to yet another institute, but is there an actual choice in such? Would he even be able to make that choice himself if there was?]
Is attendance of the event mandatory for signing up?
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[Kidou doesn't have to ask to know what kinds of thoughts must be going through Genda's mind at such a question. They're probably similar to his own - to going from being the pawn of one overwhelming force of authority to another. To having to choose between becoming a target and aligning with what he's taken to classifying as evil.
Kidou's made his choice. The lighting isn't dim enough here to reveal it, and if it was, his clothing is long enough to obscure it. There's no cue from him for Genda to follow.]
I doubt attendance is a prerequisite for registration - it's simply the easiest method. Registration status or intent isn't a prerequisite for attendance, either.
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[More by the fact that when he finally stops trying to pretend there was any other choice, it can be made with as few eyes watching as possible. He wasn't naive or rebellious enough to think that refusing was in any way a healthy option in this place with so few safe alternatives.
And it could just be attributed to the fact that he tends to avoid places that are noisy, crowded, or both.]
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He can guess pretty quickly where Genda's going to be during a Swear-In.]
Planning to skip it?
[His tone is vaguely amused, marking the question essentially rhetorical. It doesn't take long before the faint smirk is already starting to fade. It's apparently too much to hope for this encounter to become less tense, despite effort being made.
After all, even aside from the unaddressed shadows from their past looming over this entire encounter, Kidou's really tempted to ask if Genda plans on registering. Which he can not and should not ask.]
If you do, it shouldn't be a problem.
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[He knows that there's no point in denying or being diplomatic about such. Even the bit of wry humor in his eyes is telling in regards to his knowing what conclusion Kidou made before even asking such a question.
The slightly stubborn tilt of his head is also an answer to such as well. If it's not mandatory then good luck to anyone that tried to get him to go 'to socialize'.]
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Almost everyone who can attends Swear-Ins. Often these events are those even people from this world prefer to spectate, at least. Because of that, these could provide some unexpected opportunities.
[ Kidou isn't the type to even hint that Genda should be there, and he doesn't sound remotely disappointed that Genda does as Kidou expected. Instead, he sounds thoughtful, like he's mulling over how best to incorporate new hissatsu into play. His real meaning is a bit more subtle- things can be done away from quite as many prying eyes.
This could be perfect for them in the future.]
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[That statement gives enough away to show he understands the implications of what such events could mean. Ff no one is really paying attention to a lone teenager because their eyes are facing the spectacle that is this swear in event, then what could be learned in those unguarded moments?
It would be a much better use of his own time and resources then trying to learn things in an environment he was horrible at adapting to.]
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[That's one of the many things Kidou appreciates about Genda. No blunt words had to be exchanged for the message to be clear. It's one thing to give an update, but another to try to give out something like this.
Old habits die hard, and this world has drilled even more paranoia into Kidou.]
That's everything I can think of.
[Watch, he'll think of one more thing just as - or after - he leaves. He's already sure that'll happen.]
Do you have any questions?
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None that come to mind of a pressing nature.
[Because idle small talk and redundant questions are just things you don't really do in Teikoku and at this moment the important aspects have been covered and the smaller things are easily and possibly better found out on his own.]
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If he really wanted to end this here, this is where Kidou would leave. But while he's said all that he can, he doesn't feel like he's done here. So, he lingers, weighed down by all the questions neither of them is asking and the comments neither is able to be the first to voice. That silence settles like a rock in his throat as he struggles in vain to find something - anything - to say.
I'm glad to see you, although I'm not sure if you feel the same.
I'm sorry.
What can I do?
It's easy to think these things. The feelings tie around his internal monologue until they've got a stranglehold on his thoughts all over again, making it impossible to find a way through them. It was easier when he could keep this to a mission briefing; that was so familiar that it was practically automatic. It wasn't a matter of untangling emotions, just duty.
He and Genda never did have these kinds of talks. Sakuma was the one who would come forward sometimes, with a few gentle words saying exactly what he was thinking, but somehow managing to find a way to translate it into sentences. Gouenji could just cut to the chase, albeit a lot harsher than Sakuma tended to. Endou ... he just listened in that plainly innocent, curious way that made it somehow easier to say things. But looking at Genda's neutral scowl, Kidou ran into a problem he rarely had to address: he never knew how to talk to Genda. The boy was so crisp and official, and before Shin Teikoku, Kidou had never seen a crack in his guard.
How do you just talk to someone without soccer there to explain it? It's an art Kidou's never mastered.]
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This time he didn't actually want this silence, but he didn't know how to not have it be. He was only a voice for a group and never an individual. He listened and gave reports, and spoke only to convey a message that the team or a set group within the team needed to be made in as blunt of a manner as possible. Yet, he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say in this instance because it wasn't for the benefit of the whole. There wasn't even a whole here to weigh his contribution in.
I'm sorry I'm causing this strife. I'm glad you're here even though you seem as if being here is the last thing you want. Are we still friends?
Nothing changes facial wise, and any nervous ticks he may have had were smoothed out in his first year to help keep him unreadable to the opposing team.]
Is there anything else you need of me?
[It was the closes he could find words to his thoughts, even if such are hardly adequate to convey even most of what is in his head.]
action; this has completely devolved into paranoid worry spirals
Kidou does need something else from Genda. He needs Genda to be his Genda, his stalwart friend who never wavered or faltered, and someone Kidou never thought he'd have to worry about. The one Kidou could predict until it was as if they thought and acted as one, and could rely on without questioning where they stood. There's no way to express that. 'Be the person I know' comes across, even to Kidou, as 'be who I thought I knew, even if that's not quite who's sitting before me'. It's an unacceptable sentiment.
Did Shin Teikoku do that to him, or was he always like this underneath and Kidou never noticed? Was this disconnect between them really something more permanent, or was it just something that hadn't healed yet? All of this was something Kidou didn't question before. His friends had to be the same people he'd always cared about, even if their true selves are buried under something else. Even right now, he still believes that, but there's a shadow of poisonous doubt cast over his conviction.
By returning to Teikoku, updating Sakuma on the situation, adding Death Zone to Raimon's arsenal against Aliea and running alongside his old team again, he had easily confirmed that his belief in his friends wasn't unfounded. But what's true for Kidou might not be what's true for Genda right now, and all this new internal questioning is more painful than taking on any shoot.
Kidou closes his eyes for a moment. Regardless, this Genda is who he has and therefore this Genda is who he'll accept, no matter what that means.]
Not really.
[What is he waiting for? A dismissal? Kidou gently takes hold of his notebook, standing back up again. He's given Genda rights to copy it, but he doesn't like letting it out of his possession for indeterminate amounts of time. He'll have it ready when or if Genda wants it, anytime. For now, there's nothing else left to do.
It hurts to even think about walking away, but it's not up to him. If he stays any longer he's going to start running the risk of saying or doing something ill-advised. And this is Genda's space - he's here only by invitation. Kidou has already overstepped his boundaries by forcing himself on his friend like this in the first place; he can't stay when he can give no reason why he should.
Instead of letting this slowly fade out into ambiguity, he formally closes the conversation with a quiet 'excuse me' and turns to go.]
How did they even manage this in less then two hours???
Has he fallen so out of sync with Kidou that nothing would match up again?
Was this something he had overlooked during the representative challenge because he was too busy trying to show Kidou he could improve and catch up to him one day? Did something between them finally break completely when he had chosen to follow Saginuma in this? Or was this inevitable since Shin Teikoku, and it is only now when there is nothing to distract from it that it has become apparent?
The excuse me and the tell tale sound of Kidou about facing is enough that he's also rising to follow before hesitating after a step. If the other wishes to leave he can't force him to stay, especially as there is no reason for the other to remain.
There's nothing more he can say or do right now. Yet...
Even if he could never fully fix what he broke, he would at least try, if not see if there was a chance for something else to be created instead. He just needed to find a chance to do so, and until then just be whatever the other wanted him to be.]
Until next time...