text

[h2no]

I'VE BEEN HERE FOR ABOUT A WEEK NOW, AND HONESTLY I WAS RIGHT CONFUSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE "AMERICA" THING UP UNTIL LAST NIGHT.
TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT, I ATE A BURGER OFF A SHOVEL AND HAD THE SHORTEST FISTFIGHT OF MY LIFE WITH A GUY WHO HAD A BIG ISSUE WITH THE FACT I HAD NO IDEA THIS COUNTRY EXISTED UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO.
IT TURNS OUT AMERICANS DON'T LIKE 6FT TALL BATS. IT WAS A LITTLE DISAPPOINTING.
ANYWAY, DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA? THE SCAMPS I'M SUPPOSED TO TEACH HOW TO SWIM WANT TO MAKE A SOCIAL MEDIA FOR THEIR GROUP AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL ANY OF THEM ARE TALKING ABOUT.
IS IT SOME KIND OF DEXNAV THING??

Comments

[accelerate]

DUDE!!!!!

IS IT HERE???

[h2no]

NO.
IT'S TO BE RETURNED TO THE RIGHTFUL OWNER.

[archie is the worst pirate.]

[accelerate]

[ dude, why are you doing this to him? ]

WHY'D YOU STEAL IT IF YOU'RE GOING TO RETURN IT?

HOW DID YOU STEAL IT?

[h2no]

WASN'T GOING TO ORIGINALLY.
WE JUST
WALKED IN AND TOOK IT?

[accelerate]

YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE A SUBMARINE?

[h2no]

HELL YEAH I DO.

[accelerate]

YOU ARE LITERALLY THE COOLEST PERSON ON THIS EARTH.

WOULD IT BE IN TOTALLY BAD TASTE IF I ASKED TO GET A RIDE IN THIS SUB BEFORE YOU GIVE IT BACK? OR IS THAT BAD MANNERS?

[h2no]

GLAD TO HAVE IT AFFIRMED AGAIN.
I MEAN
I WOULD TAKE YOU OUT. A FUN WATER DATE.
BUT
I DON'T HAVE THE SUB HERE, BRO.

[accelerate]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[ if he could embed noooo, he would. ]

YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE DUDE

I WAS SO EXCITED I WAS GETTING MY SNORKEL READY

[h2no]

A SNORKEL FOR A SUB?
C'MON.
DID YOU REALLY THINK I'D JUST HAVE A GIANT SUB LAYING AROUND?