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[jeaniegrey]

[ It's going to be the middle of the night when this video pops up on the network here. There's a redhead in bed, looking exhausted and like she might have been crying like she probably needs some serious sleep as she rubs a hand over her face, fingers brushing through her long red hair in some attempt to get it out of her face. The room's a little dark but it's not impossible to see her thanks to a night light being on nearby. ]

Hi...

[ So not awkward. ]

I know people leave-- get ported out, whatever you want to call, all the time.

[ There's a pause as she rests her chin in her palm and glances off to the side, thinking. ]

It kinda sucks, right? But I mean... if they go back to where they're from, then it's a good thing, right?

[ She looks back to the camera, lips pursed, trying to smile a little. ]

Are you ever happy or I guess... glad when someone goes back and isn't here anymore? I don't really mean someone you hate or whatever but... someone you're close to. It's good they go back, right?

[ She's sounding as though she needs reassurance on that and smiles a little again before she decides to shut this off. ]

Comments

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[fistofthejoestar]

[ah, now that's an expression that Jonathan knows quite well - and a familiar train of thought, too. his voice and expression are gentle with understanding.]

I'm always happy when the people I care about can be happy, even if it means parting ways from me. But I don't think that makes the loss sting any less.

[was it selfish to want friends and family to stay by your side, especially in a world that wasn't your own? certainly. but it was a selfishness that he could never label shameful; it was simply humanity.]

Even if we don't carry our memories of this world with us back home, I still believe that our time here changes us. The people who've been ported out still keep us close in their hearts.

[he smiles softly]

And there's always a chance for their return.

( perma-video )

[jeaniegrey]

[ His words do come across as comforting in nature and it causes Jean to smile a little as she takes a moment to think. ]

It's good that they're not here... not tangled up in everything that goes on and will probably continue to go on here.

[ That makes sense, doesn't it? Since this isn't their home. ]

But there's still that little voice in the back of your head... that one that wishes they were here sometimes, even when you try to be hopeful or... I don't know, more logical about it all?

[ She pauses for a moment and then smiles a little again, chewing on her lower lip. ]

Would you want them to return here? Or is that selfish to want?

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[resipiscent]

It's not always a good thing. But other times, I do see it the way you're thinking of it, yes. My best friend has been here three separate times. He's got things he has to do back home, so... it's bittersweet on my end, but I'm happy for him.

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[jeaniegrey]

[ Three separate times? She can't even imagine how much whiplash that must make a person feel. ]

I know time works different here than it does back when we're from. So it's strange to think that he has no idea that he's been here or that you're here and missing him.

Private

[incogneto]

Time runs here independently from home. And whenever you return, your life will resume from the moment you left it. So you should know that where and when Charles has gone, it's most likely he's sitting a class right now with you in it.

( perma-private )

[jeaniegrey]

I know. But it sort of sucks for you and me right here, right now. Doesn't it? Because we're the ones that remember, we're the ones still here.

[ She's going to sigh at this. Boy, she should be a lot stronger than this. Her powers certainly are. ]

I know I can't always rely on him. I need to grow up and handle this myself, I get it. But it still sucks some nights.

[lurk at first -> eventual text]

[candor1]

[if what we go back to is death

He looks at the comm for a while.

Considers answering.

Considers asking.

Feels the kyberlight behind his eyes.

Sets the comm aside. Leaves his chair. Goes up to Jyn's room. Slips into her bed, slides his arms around her, gathers her tightly, and closes his eyes into her hair.

Even if it doesn't block out the light… they always face it together.]

* * *
[the next morning, he picks up the comm. Reviews the video. Then types a response.

No. The question.

The question.]

how did they leave
when did you know?
was there warning

( text )

[jeaniegrey]

[ Oh boy, here's someone with the hard-hitting questions, huh? Jean's going to switch to text for this, though still taking a moment to think over her words. ]

I share a telepathic connection with them so when I didn't feel them here anymore, I knew.

[ And she made sure to contact someone else to ensure she wasn't simply fooling herself with telepathy acting up or possibly blocking him out. ]

There wasn't really any warning just... I couldn't feel them anymore one day.

[illuminescent]

I should. Think that it is a good thing, yes.

[jeaniegrey]

Yeah, I was thinking that, too. It beats making it feel like it's the worst thing ever, right?

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[caduceusvalkyrie]

Someone who was very dear to me was brought here and then left. I think I was sad for a while, just because I missed them, but I was glad they didn't have to experience life here for long.

( perma-video )

[jeaniegrey]

I think... that's how I'm trying to look at it myself. Because this isn't really home, right? And it's always good to go back home.

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[divaricate]

If they're going back to safety and their loved ones, then, yes, I definitely am. You're thinking about if you get ported back home, or..? [Jean doesn't have to answer, of course, but, if she wants to get more thoughts out, Wanda will listen.]

( video; private )

[jeaniegrey]

[ Jean's going to switch this over to a more private feed, though still keeps it on video since Wanda's presence is... reassuring, perhaps because of how alike they are with their gifts. ]

The professor... [ She pauses for a moment. Maybe Wanda doesn't know him by that name? ] ...Charles Xavier, he was someone I was telepathically connected to. [ Another brief pause. ] He helped me when the noise just became too much in my head. It's just strange to suddenly have that loss... to not feel him around anymore here.

[ She figures Wanda might understand, if the other telepath has someone she's shared a close telepathic connection with. ]

I mean, it's good to be back where you belong, I know. But it's still weird to suddenly feel. I guess it's just getting used to it.

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

Some worlds are kinder than others.

People don't wish to be alone and away from those who understand them the best. This place isn't always easy, so sometimes we wish to keep them with us. [ kaneki shakes his head ] It's a bit selfish, however.

( video )

[jeaniegrey]

It is... [ She's going to frown a little at that. ] ...at least they don't remember their time here with us, so it's good to know they're not feeling guilty or worried about us.

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[am_i_a_monster]

I think it depends on what where they're from is like. I wouldn't want to go back to the place I'm from. I don't want anyone I know going back there either, especially if they're happier here.

[ She pauses. ]

I could be happy if I knew they went somewhere good. I just don't know if there are good places.

[ Another pause. ]

I'm sorry if that sounded bad. I'm sorry if you've lost someone.

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[jeaniegrey]

[ Jean's silent for a moment, knowing that some places aren't as... nice, maybe, as this one is and so, maybe some might not want their friends or loved ones to go back to such a place. ]

I didn't really think of that when I first put this up. About how this place might be better than somewhere else.

[ She frowns a little but does offer a bit of a smile quickly after. ]

You don't think there's anywhere good?

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[rekt]

Unless where they're from blows.

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[jeaniegrey]

Yeah. That can definitely be a thing and then it's porbably better to be here.

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[dachizone]

[middle of the night = no hair gel]

I think it's a good thing. Sure, it's sad when a friend leaves but, they're returning to where they were supposed to be. So even if they're not here, I still feel happy for them about that.

Plus, them leaving doesn't change the friendship we have or the fun times together while they were here.

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[jeaniegrey]

Yeah, that's true. I mean, as long as the place they go back to isn't worse than here. Then that's a little unsettling sort of, to think they had it better here than they do back home.

[ Which isn't the case for her but, still. ]

video ; sorry, this is a bit late!

[khajidont]

[ Oof. Poor girl. The first cut's the deepest, isn't it? Jaime's expression is distinctly sympathetic. ]

I think everyone who's been here for more than a few months knows how you feel. I've been here long enough that pretty much everyone I knew when I got here is gone now. But even then - yeah, I'm glad, sometimes. Life here is rough, and if they've got something better waiting for them back home, that's where they should be.

Still sucks for anyone who's left behind, though.

it's cool, don't worry!

[jeaniegrey]

Yeah, sucks is definitely the word I would use for it. Maybe even shitty.

[ Because it is, let's not play around here. ]

Just sort of makes you wonder how long any of us really have here.

» video

[ex_clobbers559]

( She frowns, empathizing with the loss this girl is clearly feeling. )

It's okay to miss people when they leave. Even if they're still alive back home. And I don't think they'd judge you for feeling that way.

( Kara thinks it over for all of two seconds before she asks: )

Where are you? If it'd help, I wouldn't mind hanging out.

( video )

[jeaniegrey]

Maurtia Falls is where I'm currently staying...

[ But that might be changing soon? Maybe? Hopefully? ]

It's just... I don't know. Really shitty. But I guess you just sort of get used to it?