maskormenace | [Anonymous

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[Anonymous | Text]

[After a series of texts early that day, Yuri spent the rest of his morning trying valiantly to figure out how to hide his name from the network. There was a very serious matter he needed to ask about, and he didn't want to think of the consequences he'd face if anyone knew he was the one asking.]

What the hell are you supposed to do on a date? A first date if that matters. Something like that has to be special, doesn't it? So...what do people expect? Do you have to dress up? How do you know who pays for everything?

I really don't know anything about this junk so I'll take any advice people have got.

[Viktor would never let him hear the end of this if he knew.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[There's a delay on the next message. Something about this doesn't feel like the kind of conversation he should be hiding from Yusuke for, but he can't quite pinpoint why...]

Doesn't that get confusing?

No. My feelings are not so easily filed under a single category. As long as I know how I feel, that's what matters most.

Uh

Do your friends know how you feel too?

In most cases, they do. All but one, probably.

[Nope. Nope nope no this is definitely too weird.

This is especially too weird a conversation to have in a post where he's asking for date advice already.

It's super especially weird to have this conversation when it's making him think back on some of the strange electric rushes he'd felt in Yusuke's presence. It was...a little easier to guess at what they meant now that he was actually considering what they meant around Otabek.

So, surprise! Yuri is yanking this thread into private and stripping away his anon cover.]

yusuke what

which one

[ Yusuke, quite clearly, has made a mistake. ]

do0AK

[ And he handles it very smoothly, by dropping his phone and serving an obvious redirect. ]

Yuri! 🐯

Who is your date with?

Edited (cuz fonts) 2017-07-07 05:12 (UTC)

YUSUKE WHICH ONE

YOU LIVE TWO HOUSES AWAY

DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

[ Don't make him do this. Not now. He said it would be soon but this is REALLY soon, and really obvious, not exactly something he can get out of without lying. He is typing with one hand over his eyes, peeking through his fingers. God help him. ]

Come over here anyway.

I WILL

[And he does!! He wastes as little time as he possibly can to get free of Viktor without any questions asked. (There are probably a lot of questions asked.) But whatever happens, the end result is that there isn't nearly enough between Yuri's last text and when he turns up at Yusuke's front door knocking insistently on the door.]

[ Not NEARLY enough time, he still has graphite all over the side of his hand from working on sketches for the mural, but he zips down to the door anyway as fast as his feet will carry him. Which is, of course, incredibly fast. He's lucky he didn't fall down the stairs. ]

Yuri. I'm glad to see you.

[Well. Shit.

Now that he's here and faced with Yusuke, all of the flustered and confused energy that had fueled him is...still there, honestly. He's still vibrating with adrenaline and the need for answers, but he's also had enough time for the situation to really sink in. And now he's staring the source of the situation in the face. And wow this is suddenly overwhelming and a little terrifying.

He stammers awkwardly for a moment, face gradually turning pink and then a bright red, and finally just snaps—]

Just invite me in!

Sorry, of course.

[ Obviously. Obviously. He'd been so occupied just staring, like a fool, that he hadn't even opened the door all the way. That's fixed soon, he stands back and watches Yuri enter the house, his heart both melting at the change of color in his face and slamming painfully against his ribs.

Yusuke closes the door behind him, not taking his eyes off Yuri for a second, and takes one long, deep breath. ]

Come sit down.

[Unfortunately, sitting down is about as close to an impossible feat for Yurio right now as it can get. He's filled with too many nerves and thoughts and strange butterflies at war in his stomach and chest. He chooses instead to stand at one end of the couch and try not to actually vibrate in place.]

I'm fine here. [He says, while actually vibrating in place.]

So, uh. I guess we should—talk?

[ The standing is awkward, Yuri. It isn't helping at all to calm his own nerves, and really, what good was it going to do? He had to have had some idea of what he was going to hear if he marched over here to force it out of him, didn't he?

Yusuke sits on the arm of the couch, putting him in a position where he actually has to look up at Yuri, instead of the other way around. It's seems like there's always a new angle, a new feeling, something new to learn that surprises him and puts a smile on his face he can't control. Such is the case again, even with the expression on the other boy's face as it is. ]

We should. Really, we should have weeks ago, I promised you nothing but the truth and I have failed.

[ Despite the excess of nerves making his hands clench and unclench, Yusuke frees his hand to take one of Yuri's. The motion is becoming familiar, always a warm comfort to him, but today he prays that the gesture doesn't backfire. ]

I was talking about you, of course. You are a dear friend to me, Yuri, and I would not give that up for anything. But it is...more intense than that. Different from a regular friendship, something beautiful and overwhelming stacked on top of it.

[He knew this was coming. He'd demanded to hear it, had come all the way over here just to get it over with knowing this was going to be the outcome. It didn't mean he was at all prepared for it.

He feels like he's going to be sick or float away or sink into the floor, or maybe all three at once? Maybe he'll explode or collapse in on himself? Obviously none of those things are going to happen, but he wishes they would. It would be a lot easier than having to force his brain to actually process the situation and come up with some sort of response to it. It deserves a good response! Even cornered into admitting it, he can tell Yusuke's putting sincere thought and consideration into his words. This isn't some passing fancy (he thinks. he wouldn't know a passing fancy from true love at this point, to be honest).]

I... I'm. Sorry. I've got a date with Otabek.

[Unfortunately...no matter how much he'd like to respond with just as much sincerity, words are one of Yuri's weakest points. It isn't so much that he doesn't return Yusuke's feelings—quite the opposite in fact! But he also has a keen interest in Otabek, and it's made everything very complicated. Too complicated for him to even begin to be able to deal with no matter how much he wishes he could.]

[ Otabek. Obviously. What existed of Yusuke's confidence shatters, his throat running dry as he struggles to get hus bearings without a noticable reaction. Someone from his world made so much more sense, and the sparkle in Yuri's eye when Yusuke mentioned him before that he assumed was the same as his own when he went on about his friends must have been something more than that. Of course it would be Otabek. Yuri has known him so much longer, and he wasn't continually dragging him into criminal enterprises or cozy cafe chats with known killers. He was safer. More familiar. Better.

But if it were that simple, Yuri wouldn't be here. He didn't have to reveal himself and call him out, he could have just left it alone. He didn't have to come here and yank the truth out of him, just to reject him. That would be cruel. Yusuke was well aware that he was impatient and had a quick temper, but he had never known Yuri to be cruel, not with him. ]

I know. But you came here. You wanted to hear this. Why?

[ Yuri looks like he could be sick. Yusuke probably looks the same, anticipating the answer as one would wait for test results. ]

[Yuri freezes in place, one hand buried in his hair where he's gripping his head as if he can somehow calm the swirling storm of thoughts in it. His eyes are wide and startled, mouth hung slightly open. By now he knew, of course, why he'd insisted on hearing it for himself. He hadn't counted on Yusuke asking him why though.]

I... [His mouth is dry again. He licks his lips to wet them and glances briefly away. It's hard to get the words out, but he owes it to Yusuke after forcing him to admit his own feelings already.] I think...I like you too.

[ Yuri may look away, but Yusuke's gaze is fixed. It has been since the day they met, since Yuri folded up that drawing and took it back with him. Something he would have just tossed aside, he felt was worth keeping. He thinks about that as he watches him, the hand in his hair and the tongue over his lips, every amazing detail until he finally speaks.

It's enough to go on. It's enough to make the urge to pull Yuri in and hold him close painfully hard to resist, enough to amplify the nervous tingling in his chest until it thunders in his ears. It just isn't enough. ]

You think so? I am very certain of my feelings for you. I have no other option but to be sure. You're on my mind when we're apart, and when we are together, I am in awe. Of your strength, of your passion, of...everything.

[ Maybe he isn't so careful with his words. He can feel them spilling out faster than he can think about them and the fear that they are not on the same level is very real, but it doesn't shut him up, it only makes him blurt them out faster. This isn't how he imagined this would go, but it's happening, and it feels good to get it out there no matter how petrified he is. ]

It doesn't matter if you're throwing ice spears, or picking out masks, or screaming or skating, or standing in front of me, terrified. It's all beautiful to me. I love you, and...maybe you don't want to hear that, but I can't imagine why you'd be here otherwise.

[Holy shit it's finally happened. He's spent too long around Viktor and the man's ridiculous outlook on love and friendships, and now it's infected his entire life. It's the only explanation, or at least the only one Yuri can come up with while it feels like the rest of the world is falling away and his heart is trying to pound out of his chest. Yusuke loves him?]

I... [What? What was he supposed to say now? There's no way he can match the force of that confession. He's not even sure it would be honest if he did manage to.] I—I don't know if I— I mean, I like you! A lot, but I'm... [He gestures helplessly, the look on his face wavering towards a helpless smile that's more panic than it is hope. He was so hopelessly unprepared for this.]

I don't...know what that means. —How I feel. I'm trying to figure it out now! [Now that he's recognized it for the crush that it is all of five minutes ago. He, unfortunately, does not have the benefit of having had weeks or even days to examine his feelings and grow to understand them, but, honestly, it would not have helped much even if he had.] But I have to figure it out with Otabek too, and I don't know if...I didn't know you—! I didn't even know he—! Not until today! So I'm—sorry?

[ If he didn't want to know, he shouldn't have asked!

The stunned, stuttering half-response might have discouraged him, but it's too endearing to bring him anything but a smile. Yuri expresses himself in other ways, he knows this by now, and that he hasn't bolted for the door or even pulled away is justification enough for the feeling of unbearable weight being lifted from his shoulders. It's out, it can't be taken back or rearranged, and it could have been sweeter or smoother but it is what it is, honest and direct. ]

That's alright, Yuri. I won't ask you to return my feelings in full. I have burdened you with enough as it is.

[ He looks up at him, almost shyly, not at all sure what to say or what to do next. It's not like Yusuke planned for this. Without realizing it, he grips Yuri's hand tighter, weaving their fingers together as he tucks his hair out of his face. He wants to see Yuri perfectly clearly. ]

Just...tell me if there's a chance. That would be enough.

[This question should be easier. He almost misses hearing it, so distracted with Yusuke's hand in his, but for once the answer is obvious to him. They both like each other, so yes, there's a chance. Simple! Except it really isn't when he has to consider Otabek as well. He's not so lost when it comes to relationships that he'd make the mistake of forgetting to take the other skater's feelings into consideration. It would be cruel to make a decision now.

He closes his eyes for a moment, focusing on his own breathing and the soothing warmth of Yusuke's hand. It's fine—more or less. Yusuke hasn't been upset with any of his awkward stammering yet. That thought gives him the confidence to meet Yusuke's gaze when he opens his eyes again, nervous and unsure as he is.]

I need to talk to Otabek first.

[ It's a frustrating response. Not because of Yuri, he can hardly blame him for attracting someone else's attention, but because he doesn't know what to expect. He's never been cornered into a confession like this, he's never even had one to give, and so, of course, being in a position where he feels like he'll have to compete is...awkward. At best.

His mouth feels like a desert, and he swallows hard before speaking again. The urge to look away and scare off is pulling at him, but Yusuke resists, especially now that he can feel Yuri's eyes on him. He needs him to know that he's serious about this, he wouldn't have said anyway. ]

...of course. That would only be fair. Don't cancel your plans because of me. Just don't forget I'm here, either.

[He frowns, the first expression he's made this entire time that isn't some form of confusion or surprise.]

You idiot. There's no way I'm going to forget about you! [As if to emphasize his point, he gives Yusuke's hand a sharp squeeze and jabs him roughly in the chest with the pointed finger of his free hand.] We're friends! No matter what happens with all this other...stuff!

[There's a pause, and he adds with a little more hesitation.] Right?

[ Yusuke looks down at the finger jabbed into his chest, and back up, a shaky chuckle slipping out from between his lips. ]

Of course. Considering everything that's happened, I would say you're stuck with me no matter what.

[There's no masking the relieved sound he makes or the way his shoulders sag as tension floods out of them. He'd been terrified enough of screwing things up with Otabek, and there hadn't been such a dramatic revelation involved there.]

Good.

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