Charles Boyle (
hardboyled) wrote in
maskormenace2017-10-08 06:05 pm
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001 ☕︎ video
[The video feed opens up to a morose looking dude in a pale blue shirt and a bland tie with it's knot loosened heavily. Looks like someone's returned from a disappointing time out.]
Ladies and gentleman, it is with a heavy heart that I bring you this terrible news: The 4.7 rated restaurant, Maison d'etre has been lying to us all. Like you, I was fooled by the high praise it was receiving on such popular food blogs as "Good Morning Viet-nom!", "Let's Taco 'Bout Food" and "Making Ends Meat" who all labelled it a culinary adventure of locally sourced food.
However! [His voice breaks halfway through the word, wavering between anger and the desperate need to cry in disappointment.] I have since eaten there and can say with complete certainty that the only culinary adventure to be found in that excuse for a restaurant is the amount of imported ingredients they have on their menu! Even their corn is imported from Ukraine. Who can't find locally sourced corn in America?! I tell you, ladies and gentleman, I am just one big D right now. Disappointed!
[A sigh that's as weighty as the world itself, and... was that a small, barely restrained sob as he quickly bows his head? At least he's quick to compose himself, straightening himself up in his chair and puffing out his chest after a deep inhale.] But it's not all bad news. I, Charles Boyle, will be sure to continue conveying these injustices to the world!
And a few weeks from now, I'll also be sharing my knowledge of food to any folks willing to learn. Watch this space for Boiled Over, an imPort cooking show in front of a small live audience, set to delight and astound. [And just like that, his previous disappointment steadily creeps towards eagerness, because cooking is awesoooome.]
I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for this opportunity! Wow, what a rollercoaster of emotions this place is!
Ladies and gentleman, it is with a heavy heart that I bring you this terrible news: The 4.7 rated restaurant, Maison d'etre has been lying to us all. Like you, I was fooled by the high praise it was receiving on such popular food blogs as "Good Morning Viet-nom!", "Let's Taco 'Bout Food" and "Making Ends Meat" who all labelled it a culinary adventure of locally sourced food.
However! [His voice breaks halfway through the word, wavering between anger and the desperate need to cry in disappointment.] I have since eaten there and can say with complete certainty that the only culinary adventure to be found in that excuse for a restaurant is the amount of imported ingredients they have on their menu! Even their corn is imported from Ukraine. Who can't find locally sourced corn in America?! I tell you, ladies and gentleman, I am just one big D right now. Disappointed!
[A sigh that's as weighty as the world itself, and... was that a small, barely restrained sob as he quickly bows his head? At least he's quick to compose himself, straightening himself up in his chair and puffing out his chest after a deep inhale.] But it's not all bad news. I, Charles Boyle, will be sure to continue conveying these injustices to the world!
And a few weeks from now, I'll also be sharing my knowledge of food to any folks willing to learn. Watch this space for Boiled Over, an imPort cooking show in front of a small live audience, set to delight and astound. [And just like that, his previous disappointment steadily creeps towards eagerness, because cooking is awesoooome.]
I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for this opportunity! Wow, what a rollercoaster of emotions this place is!
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
I'm so sorry.
I want this so bad!
Please let me help you.
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
I'm here to help.
And not call you inappropriate nicknames.
[So just. Treat this guy like another Rosa? Easy enough.
Sort of, except Charles has no self control when it comes to saying embarrassing things. BUT HE'LL TRY!]
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
We gotta be in the same place together.
And I gotta have sometime to taste.
Then the magic just kind of happens
At least I think so.
I haven't exactly had much of a chance to practice.
It could go horrifically wrong.
But probably not!
I'm sure it'll be fine!
:D
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
An amazing idea.
I'll have to search for the best one.
Obviously.
And we'll have to decide on a topping!
But it's doable!
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
But do you really want to ruin it with a cheap delivery place??
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
I guess.
We can do it whenever.
Text; Anonymous
Where can I meet you?
Text; Anonymous
But I can get to any of the imPort cities.
I probably need to know who you are though.
Otherwise it makes meeting a lot a hard.
;)
;P
Text; Anonymous
I'll be the one with wings.
Text; Anonymous
Ok. I can do that.
Wings though?!
That's cool.
That's super cool.
You could even say it's...
Super fly.
lol!
;)
;)
Text; Anonymous -> Action? Or log?
[Daryl didn't respond to the rest. He wasn't sure he could without being insulting. Super fly? How did Rosa put up with this?]
action! (unless you need log for ac, in that case we can move to log)
So he waits on a nearby bench, watching the vendor with an idle sort of interest, mostly to check his practices are up to food safety standards. Charles is from New York, he can deal with dodgy hotdog vendors, but if he can avoid food poisoning, he will, kthx.]
Action!
Since Boyle seemed to be against a greasy, cheap pizza, maybe he'd be okay with a braut with everything on it. Daryl hadn't had one of those for just as long as the pizza. And the smell drove him crazy any time he was in the area.
As he'd indicated when he texted, Daryl was the one with wings. They weren't very big, comparatively, each of them half again as long as his arm, but they allowed for flight and when he didn't need them, he could make them disappear. This time, they did so by appearing to 'melt' into liquid metal before evaporating into the air, leaving him dressed in his shirt and jeans and a single knife on his right hip.
He spotted Boyle easily enough and lifted his hand in a small wave to make sure he had the man's attention before he introduced himself.]
'M Daryl.
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When Daryl introduces himself, Boyle jumps to his feet, briefly considering offering out a hand to shake, but then reminding himself that, if this is another Rosa, he's best to avoid too much attempts at physical contact. He can be smart when it's to do with personal survival.]
Charles! Hi! Ready to chow down on a big ol' sausage?
[Phrasing.]
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He also didn't react to the phrasing like it was odd in anyway. It hadn't been said in a manner meant to be innuendo, the tone upbeat and neutral, so he didn't stop to look at the man funny or anything like that. After the handshake - short and no longer than necessary - he nodded and pulled his hands back and stuffed them into his pockets.]
Yeah. Uh, one of them Italian ones with everything. I'm gonna get a plain hotdog for m'self.
[So he had something to eat while Boyle was attempting to 'share' what he tasted.]
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Ooh, great choice! I warn you though, this is... kind of the first time I've tried this on an actual willing partner, so you gotta communicate if it isn't working right. I've not really got any frame of reference yet...
[Said as he joins the very small line at the hotdog stand, rifling around for cash in the pocket of his slacks.]
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Come on, man, yer holding up the line.
[As if he was going to make Boyle pay for something he was wanting to eat. Pfft.]
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Thanks! What a gentleman. Y'wanna sit down for this, buddy? [Head jerking towards the nearby bench.]
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He waited a little longer for the shoe to drop, but Boyle still looked like he was being completely complimentary and intending to be. So unless he was somehow an amazing actor...
Daryl grunted and nodded, then moved to the bench. He sat down on the end farthest from the vendor to try and reduce notice from as many people as possible while he looked over his own hot dog. He really hoped this worked because it was damn hard to get a good, decent tasting meal with his 'problem'.]
Ready, I guess.
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