Charles Boyle (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hardboyled) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2017-10-08 06:05 pm
hardboyled) wrote in maskormenace2017-10-08 06:05 pm
Entry tags:
001 ☕︎ video
[The video feed opens up to a morose looking dude in a pale blue shirt and a bland tie with it's knot loosened heavily. Looks like someone's returned from a disappointing time out.]
Ladies and gentleman, it is with a heavy heart that I bring you this terrible news: The 4.7 rated restaurant, Maison d'etre has been lying to us all. Like you, I was fooled by the high praise it was receiving on such popular food blogs as "Good Morning Viet-nom!", "Let's Taco 'Bout Food" and "Making Ends Meat" who all labelled it a culinary adventure of locally sourced food.
However! [His voice breaks halfway through the word, wavering between anger and the desperate need to cry in disappointment.] I have since eaten there and can say with complete certainty that the only culinary adventure to be found in that excuse for a restaurant is the amount of imported ingredients they have on their menu! Even their corn is imported from Ukraine. Who can't find locally sourced corn in America?! I tell you, ladies and gentleman, I am just one big D right now. Disappointed!
[A sigh that's as weighty as the world itself, and... was that a small, barely restrained sob as he quickly bows his head? At least he's quick to compose himself, straightening himself up in his chair and puffing out his chest after a deep inhale.] But it's not all bad news. I, Charles Boyle, will be sure to continue conveying these injustices to the world!
And a few weeks from now, I'll also be sharing my knowledge of food to any folks willing to learn. Watch this space for Boiled Over, an imPort cooking show in front of a small live audience, set to delight and astound. [And just like that, his previous disappointment steadily creeps towards eagerness, because cooking is awesoooome.]
I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for this opportunity! Wow, what a rollercoaster of emotions this place is!
Ladies and gentleman, it is with a heavy heart that I bring you this terrible news: The 4.7 rated restaurant, Maison d'etre has been lying to us all. Like you, I was fooled by the high praise it was receiving on such popular food blogs as "Good Morning Viet-nom!", "Let's Taco 'Bout Food" and "Making Ends Meat" who all labelled it a culinary adventure of locally sourced food.
However! [His voice breaks halfway through the word, wavering between anger and the desperate need to cry in disappointment.] I have since eaten there and can say with complete certainty that the only culinary adventure to be found in that excuse for a restaurant is the amount of imported ingredients they have on their menu! Even their corn is imported from Ukraine. Who can't find locally sourced corn in America?! I tell you, ladies and gentleman, I am just one big D right now. Disappointed!
[A sigh that's as weighty as the world itself, and... was that a small, barely restrained sob as he quickly bows his head? At least he's quick to compose himself, straightening himself up in his chair and puffing out his chest after a deep inhale.] But it's not all bad news. I, Charles Boyle, will be sure to continue conveying these injustices to the world!
And a few weeks from now, I'll also be sharing my knowledge of food to any folks willing to learn. Watch this space for Boiled Over, an imPort cooking show in front of a small live audience, set to delight and astound. [And just like that, his previous disappointment steadily creeps towards eagerness, because cooking is awesoooome.]
I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for this opportunity! Wow, what a rollercoaster of emotions this place is!
video
Well, I was gonna take a date there so thanks for your service. Found anywhere you'd recommend?
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[Asks the dirty but handsome looking fella in the filthy swashbuckling gear looking just like a pirate from the days of yore. Jack peers into the screen curiously as he awaits an answer. He has so many questions about this world and not enough answers.]
Also, this is...the Americas? We're in a colony?
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A taco? It's a Mexican dish with tortilla, meat, beans, salad... y'know, all the good stuff. [Beat. Did he ask if it's America? Did he hear that right?] And. Uh, yeah. We're in America, buddy. Welcome...?
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video »
[ Though gosh, he's certainly... passionate about it. ]
Though. Let's say we're interested in being part of that live audience. [ Or at least dragging her best friends into this, because it sounds like it'll be an Adventure. ] How could we swing a couple of tickets?
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[ on the video feed, barry pops in behind iris' shoulder. ]
Do we get to sample the food if we're in the live audience?
[ boyle, you'll totally want the guy with the never-ending stomach to taste your food. ]
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video;
A cooking show? Now that's something I could use.
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You like to cook?! This is great news! My viewer base is already at a possible three people!
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[video - using alias Emily Goldfinch]
It isn't a rollercoaster if you don't have emotions. You just have too fuckin' many of them.
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Boyle's just letting at a high pitched screech of excitement as he jumps at the camera screen like he can somehow reach through it.]
ROSA! OH MY GOD! [Clutching his chest as he slumps back into his chair.] Ow, ow, ow, my poor heart. I can't handle this rollercoaster.
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[video -> action]
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[this is very charming and he's trying not to laugh because he's a good boy, but,,]
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voice;
voice;
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video;
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video;
Are tickets to your show available? I'd really like to see it.
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[Wait tho, more people asking about his show? My goodness.] I can absolutely get you a ticket. It'll all be televised, but nothing quite like being there with all the smells and taste.
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[video]
Great, now I gotta cancel a reservation. [At least he doesn't have to tell Leia the bad news, since this is still technically supposed to be a surprise.]
The hell's a taco?
[video]
Sir, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to snap, it's just been a stressful few days.
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So does your show have, like, a theme or something to it? Don't all the popular ones have a gimmick about visiting great places people haven't heard of or... crying in front of some shouty British guy or whatever?
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Not exactly what I'm aiming for. All of that extra padding just detracts from the true star of the show: the food. All you really need is good quality ingredients, a kitchen, a camera and a whole lot of time to cook.
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[not here]
(I think somebody's jealous)
totally threatened by the little guy
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video.
[But she's absolutely charmed by this broadcast, and her face is a wide grin.]
My sister-in-law has one of those cooking shows, the sort with a competition. You two should be mates, the way you both talk about food.
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I like the sound of her already! Is she here?
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video.
I take it you know a lot of culinary traditions of this world...?
[ Look, she isn't from around here. She doesn't know what's poisonous. ]
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I know a lot of culinary traditions of my world. I can only assume they're alike, considering the other similarities.
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Are you some kind of celebrity chef where you're from, or something?
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No! Not even close. Back home I was a detective for the NYPD. Nothing like the God-like status of a celebrity chef!
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Text; Anonymous
[There is nothing else attached to explain what this person is asking about. But you know, it's probably food.]
Text; Anonymous
I can report injustices?
Have my own cooking show?
Share my cooking knowledge?
Lol. :P
Idk.
Is there a right answer?
Did I say something wrong?!
Sorry if I did. :( :( :(
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
Text; Anonymous
[text; emily goldfinch]
[text; emily goldfinch]
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Text; Anonymous
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[text - alias, emily goldfinch]
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Voice;
[This man has a lot of hard opinions on food.
...Rincewind can appreciate that.]
When you say you'll be cooking and teaching people about food, approximately how much of that will involve potatoes, do you think?
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Oh, I'm sure plenty! The humble potato is a staple in many amazing dishes, not to mention a fantastic standalone. One should never underestimate it's diversity.
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voice.
Where will this show be taking place? I'm not - I've never really had to cook for myself, so I would like to learn.
voice.
Filming will probably be in Heropa. If you can't make it to the live audience, then it'll be televised too! Benefit of being in the audience, though, is you'll get to taste the food afterwards! [His powers might come into play for that part of audience participation, so it could be a complete disaster. All the more reason to show up and watch the trainwreck.]
I'd be more than happy to provide additional lessons if they're needed. You know, just to get the basics down.
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voice.
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[ Video ]
Will you only rate restaurants or do you actually cook?
[ Video ]
Oh, cook, most definitely! I'm here to cook and eat first, rate and review later. My show will be about 75% cooking, 20% tasting and 5% dancing! 100% fun.
[ Video ]
[ Video ]
[ Video ]
[ Video ]
[ Video ]
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