001 ☕︎ video

[hardboyled]

[The video feed opens up to a morose looking dude in a pale blue shirt and a bland tie with it's knot loosened heavily. Looks like someone's returned from a disappointing time out.]

Ladies and gentleman, it is with a heavy heart that I bring you this terrible news: The 4.7 rated restaurant, Maison d'etre has been lying to us all. Like you, I was fooled by the high praise it was receiving on such popular food blogs as "Good Morning Viet-nom!", "Let's Taco 'Bout Food" and "Making Ends Meat" who all labelled it a culinary adventure of locally sourced food.

However! [His voice breaks halfway through the word, wavering between anger and the desperate need to cry in disappointment.] I have since eaten there and can say with complete certainty that the only culinary adventure to be found in that excuse for a restaurant is the amount of imported ingredients they have on their menu! Even their corn is imported from Ukraine. Who can't find locally sourced corn in America?! I tell you, ladies and gentleman, I am just one big D right now. Disappointed!

[A sigh that's as weighty as the world itself, and... was that a small, barely restrained sob as he quickly bows his head? At least he's quick to compose himself, straightening himself up in his chair and puffing out his chest after a deep inhale.] But it's not all bad news. I, Charles Boyle, will be sure to continue conveying these injustices to the world!

And a few weeks from now, I'll also be sharing my knowledge of food to any folks willing to learn. Watch this space for Boiled Over, an imPort cooking show in front of a small live audience, set to delight and astound. [And just like that, his previous disappointment steadily creeps towards eagerness, because cooking is awesoooome.]

I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for this opportunity! Wow, what a rollercoaster of emotions this place is!

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

It's a good thing. Most people bottle up their emotions, limit their expressions.

[hardboyled]

Pfft, losers. Amiright?!

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well -- as a psychiatric doctor, no, I cannot ethically call them losers.

[hardboyled]

Oh! [Straightening up at that.] You're a psychiatrist? Did you train for that here, I mean their job distribution doesn't exactly seem to be done on experience.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I had to prove my capabilities first. I have been a psychiatrist for some time, back in my own world.

[hardboyled]

And you just went straight back to doin' it here, huh? You know, I've been thinking about just ignoring the idea of the show and trying to get back to the daily grind, but... who passes up the opportunity for their own TV show?! [Beat.] Plus, what sane person would want to be a cop in Florida?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Literally no one.

[hardboyled]

Right?! [Chuckle! Oh, those poor Florida cops and their dumb selves for living in Florida.]

Maybe I deserve this vacay! Earn money while doing something I love! It's a win/win.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I'm sorry -- "vacay"?

[He has heard the word, yes. But never from a mouth that didn't belong to a tween girl.]

[hardboyled]

Uh-huh! Vacay. I'm bringing it back. I think it'll catch on.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I don't think it will, no.

[hardboyled]

But you're not the one with an entire TV show to back it up! [Beat that, Chilton.

Although:] Unless you do. Because honestly, I'd watch that, whatever it was. You have a voice for TV. Bet you got the face and sweet bod to match it.

[slightlyoffchilt]

[Perhaps a well-adjusted person would consider that statement a bit invasive -- or at least forward!

But not Chilton.]

Oh -- [chuckle.] Well. Maybe so.

-- When is your show airing, again? I'll have to take note.

[He definitely wasn't going to watch it before, and now he definitely will.]

[hardboyled]

[Welp, never let it be said that Charles doesn't use his people pleasing to his own advantage. Mental note that this guy is catching what Boyle's throwing out when it comes to compliments.]

Two weeks! Aiming for a weekday evening, but right now it's anyone's guess. I'll be sure to update you the moment we know, Doc. An intelligent man like yourself is exactly the sort of viewer base I'd appreciate, especially with some of the recipes I'd like to be sharing. [Stick with him, Chilton, he'll stroke your ego forever more. Even if he might be laying it on a little thick...] I'm sure a guy like you has an appreciation for the finer things, am I right?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I cannot deny that I do. [Of course he can't.] Very astute!

[At least the compliments go both ways; Chilton was highly capable of the reach-around maneuver.]

Will you be hosting a viewing party for the premiere?

[hardboyled]

[What a fine reach-around technique! Charles sure does appreciate the return verbal fondling.]

Hadn't planned on it. [Gasp!] Do you think I should?!

[slightlyoffchilt]

I think you should!

[hardboyled]

I doubt anyone would come to a new boy's party. It'd be like school all over again.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Um. [Curious choice of third person referential adjective and noun.]

Say you'll have ample alcohol? That usually does the trick.

[hardboyled]

Ample alcohol does draw a crowd. But it's far too close to Halloween! People will wanna be having house parties in 'stumes, not watching a cooking show.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Trust me, all you have to do is out-alcohol every other party.

[hardboyled]

Would you come?

[slightlyoffchilt]

I think I would!

[hardboyled]

You think?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well you haven't sent out the formal RSVP, now have you? I can only commit to so much.