001 ☕︎ video

[hardboyled]

[The video feed opens up to a morose looking dude in a pale blue shirt and a bland tie with it's knot loosened heavily. Looks like someone's returned from a disappointing time out.]

Ladies and gentleman, it is with a heavy heart that I bring you this terrible news: The 4.7 rated restaurant, Maison d'etre has been lying to us all. Like you, I was fooled by the high praise it was receiving on such popular food blogs as "Good Morning Viet-nom!", "Let's Taco 'Bout Food" and "Making Ends Meat" who all labelled it a culinary adventure of locally sourced food.

However! [His voice breaks halfway through the word, wavering between anger and the desperate need to cry in disappointment.] I have since eaten there and can say with complete certainty that the only culinary adventure to be found in that excuse for a restaurant is the amount of imported ingredients they have on their menu! Even their corn is imported from Ukraine. Who can't find locally sourced corn in America?! I tell you, ladies and gentleman, I am just one big D right now. Disappointed!

[A sigh that's as weighty as the world itself, and... was that a small, barely restrained sob as he quickly bows his head? At least he's quick to compose himself, straightening himself up in his chair and puffing out his chest after a deep inhale.] But it's not all bad news. I, Charles Boyle, will be sure to continue conveying these injustices to the world!

And a few weeks from now, I'll also be sharing my knowledge of food to any folks willing to learn. Watch this space for Boiled Over, an imPort cooking show in front of a small live audience, set to delight and astound. [And just like that, his previous disappointment steadily creeps towards eagerness, because cooking is awesoooome.]

I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for this opportunity! Wow, what a rollercoaster of emotions this place is!

Comments

[hardboyled]

[Oh God, he said Charles seemed cool.

Be cool, Charles. You seem cool, now be cool.

And yet for some reason his voice is pitching up several octaves into a squeak. So cool.]

Nothing would make me happier, my good sir!

[h2no]

[he laughs.]

Wish You Were Beer, Heropa. In a couple hours?

[hardboyled]

[There are way too many pun names in this world.]

Absolutely! I'll see you then, and I totally won't be an hour early just to be sure I won't miss you.

[h2no]

[...well, that's endearing.]

Alright. It's a dog-friendly place so I'm gonna bring mine. --Ah, you alright with that? No allergies or anythin', right?

[and also because mightyena just always means he'll DEFINITELY make friends. he's hacking.]

[hardboyled]

A dog?! Oh, I totally don't mind. I love dogs! I have three back home... [Which... he misses :c]

[h2no]

Ah... we can go somewhere else if it'll make you upset...

[NO HE GETS IT archie knows he was lucky to come with his entire team.]

[hardboyled]

No, no, no! It's totally fine. I'd love to meet your dog! [It'll distract him from the concept of being totally and utterly alone in an unfamiliar world without even his doggos to keep him company.]

[h2no]

Alright. But if you start cryin', I get it.

[he'd probably die if he didn't have mightyena. even not having muk and sharpedo was hellish for the short time it lasted.]

We'll see ya there.

[hardboyled]

I'll do my very best not to, but no guarantees! [And yet cheerfully said.]

See you there, buddy!

> action YEAHHH

[h2no]

[archie shows up a little earlier than he'd said -- just to be polite, though he waits outside, mightyena sitting next to him patiently.

...now is a really bad time to realise he doesn't remember the guy's name or what he looks like.]

WOO WOO, action time!

[hardboyled]

[Just as promised, Charles has been there forever. He's already had a coffee as he stares desperately towards the door, so once Archie's taken a seat outside, it's only seconds later that Charles is outside with him, standing eagerly by.]

Hi! It's me. Charles. The guy from the network-- Oh my gosh, is that your dog?! [So easily distracted by doggos.]

[h2no]

--Ah! [archie stands up, holds out his hand.] Sorry, bro! I didn't see you already there!

[he laughs a little awkwardly, though mightyena gets up, tailwagging and immediately starts to doggie harrass charles for pats.]

Yeah, he's called Mightyena. He needed a walk, so I thought... y'know, walk him to the dog bar.

[hardboyled]

Oh, no worries, bro! [Maybe if Charle's just slips in a return 'bro', he'll get away with it.]

God, he's so cute. Who's a good boy?! [That waggy tail and harassing is eagerly met with Boyle dropping to a knee to give Mightyena all the attention ever.] Did you get him from a pound here? He's a weird lookin' breed.

[h2no]

[archie just laughs. everyone should say bro, bro.

mightyena yips slightly in excitement, tail wagging madly as it starts licking all over boyle's face.]

Ah... he's from the same place I am. Hoenn.

[hardboyled]

[Boyle doesn't even complain about the dog all over him, he's just chuckling happily as never stops with the petting.]

Hoenn? I don't think I've heard of that place before.

[h2no]

Most people here haven't... I hadn't heard of America before I got here, y'know.

[he gives mightyena's back a scratch.]

Wait-- are you from America? You sound American.

[hardboyled]

Yu-huh! New York, precisely. It's further north from here, and a loooot less hot and sticky. Lot less swamps too. [Mightyena still gets plenty of attention, but Charles is slowly raising back to his feet to instead move towards the seat by Archie.] Have you seen much of America yet?

[h2no]

Ahh, yeah. Lots of news from down that way.

[archie leans back, so they're not looking at each other from weird angles.]

Only the Porter cities. I don't really have much time. Did you travel around a lot?

[hardboyled]

Back home? Not really. I wish I had the time but between work and... well work. Y'know how it is. [Leant forward to idly petpetpet.] What's Hoenn like?!

[h2no]

[he knows it INTIMATELY. three jobs archie barely sleeps, let alone does normal things like take time off to go traveling.]

Tropical. Lots of water in the region... there's a volcano and a giant mountain full of ghosts.

[hardboyled]

Oh man, that sounds amazing. It's like somewhere you'd visit on a cruise! Or a really expensive honeymoon. [Beat.] Amazing aside from the ghosts.

[h2no]

Yeah, it is. It's on par with Alola.

[though he'd rather be in his home region, obviously.]

Ahh-- most of them are pretty friendly. You get some Duskull, maybe a Misdreavious or two... eh, they can't do much. They think trainers'll give 'em treats.

[hardboyled]

Trainers? Trainers for what? [What's a Duskull?! What are these words being said?]

[h2no]

Uhh... the Pokémon?

[hardboyled]

Like. Pokemon pokemon? What do you do with them? [Just trying to establish if these are the kind of pokemon he's thinking of.]