maskormenace | 001 ☕︎ video

[The video feed opens up to a morose looking dude in a pale blue shirt and a bland tie with it's knot loosened heavily. Looks like someone's returned from a disappointing time out.]

Ladies and gentleman, it is with a heavy heart that I bring you this terrible news: The 4.7 rated restaurant, Maison d'etre has been lying to us all. Like you, I was fooled by the high praise it was receiving on such popular food blogs as "Good Morning Viet-nom!", "Let's Taco 'Bout Food" and "Making Ends Meat" who all labelled it a culinary adventure of locally sourced food.

However! [His voice breaks halfway through the word, wavering between anger and the desperate need to cry in disappointment.] I have since eaten there and can say with complete certainty that the only culinary adventure to be found in that excuse for a restaurant is the amount of imported ingredients they have on their menu! Even their corn is imported from Ukraine. Who can't find locally sourced corn in America?! I tell you, ladies and gentleman, I am just one big D right now. Disappointed!

[A sigh that's as weighty as the world itself, and... was that a small, barely restrained sob as he quickly bows his head? At least he's quick to compose himself, straightening himself up in his chair and puffing out his chest after a deep inhale.] But it's not all bad news. I, Charles Boyle, will be sure to continue conveying these injustices to the world!

And a few weeks from now, I'll also be sharing my knowledge of food to any folks willing to learn. Watch this space for Boiled Over, an imPort cooking show in front of a small live audience, set to delight and astound. [And just like that, his previous disappointment steadily creeps towards eagerness, because cooking is awesoooome.]

I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for this opportunity! Wow, what a rollercoaster of emotions this place is!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wouldn't dream of imposing on you like that, but it certainly sounds like coming to the show would be of benefit to me.

Or at least watching it, if I am unable to make the live performance. I shall certainly try to be there, though.

If you're ever anywhere near Heropa, I can score you a few tickets to get in on that live show action! I am totally all for imPorts having first dibs, especially ones who need a few pointers on cooking. It's a brave and scary new world around these parts, especially for newbies like me.

If that is an offer, I am sure I can find a way to be present for it.

[ She laughs, a little. ] I am also new to this world, but I find that I am not entirely prepared for it, which is probably rather clear. I will do my best to be there.

Oh, you bet it's an offer! [Beat.] Hey, you're new too? I wouldn't have guessed, I'm not hearing any confused or terrified screaming.

That is very generous of you. It would be my honor to accept it.

[ l o l ] Well, I can't say I was expecting to end up here, but I am used to everything being upended. So I'm simply doing my best to find my way.

It helps that I have others from my world already here.

You have others here? That must be awesome. Are they friends?

[ MmmmmMMMMm ]

Some of them are family or close friends - others I've never known, and a few enemies. It's a surprisingly varied range. Do you have anyone here, or are you the only one so far?

Enemies too? Aw man, that sucks. I guess I should consider myself lucky, I got only one person from back home, and she's a close friend. We've both put away some real nasty folks though, so I'd hate for any of them to show up here.

I do not think any of them would seek my death in this place, at least. There is no longer a cause to.

[ It's cool Boyle she's super used to assassination attempts by now. ]

I'm glad you have a friend here with you, I hope it is a comfort and help to you.

Put away?

It was a pretty big comfort, honestly, yeah. [He's not ashamed to admit to that either.]

And yeah, put away. Like, locked up. Arrested and but behind bars. Criminals.

You were a member of security forces, in your world?

[ Doubly useful, potentially, even if that's not necessarily how she's filing this conversation. It's more like a note to herself. Also someone good at knowing who bad guys are. ]

I know the feeling well, though - some of those close to me have been a great comfort to have here. This Porter may be unpredictable, but it does provide us some good things.

Yup! A detective, so uh, I solved cases and stuff.

[A vague job description because he's not entirely sure what Universes have detectives and what they're expected to do.]

Ah, I see. That can be a very difficult role, and one that takes a great deal of work. Do you have any interest in continuing that here, or do you think the new job you've been given will be satisfactory enough?

Maybe! It just wouldn't be the same without my colleagues and my precinct though. I think I'll focus on the show for now and just see what the future holds. I'll miss solving cases, but who can turn down the opportunity of their own TV show? Especially a cooking show!

[ She laughs at that, because it's quite endearing really to see someone so excited and so determined to make the best of this new place. ]

It's good to see someone who's excited about the opportunities this place offers.

I'll have to make absolutely sure I'm present for the show, I feel your enthusiasm can only make for a wonderful live experience.

[Boyle is pretty damn good at the whole optimism thing.]

Thanks! But what about you though? Do you intend to keep doing what you were doing...?

[ well ]

I was in politics. I'm not sure I can transfer my career over successfully without some time and effort.

I'm not sure I wish to, either.

Yeah, there's a lot of investment in politics, huh? I just met an import who's involved in it all! But also he's been here like a billion years.

It is politics and those who make them who determine how the lives of ordinary citizens remain functioning.

It is something we should all have an interest in, but only some people are able to devote their time to in full.

It's definitely all too fancy for me, I'd rather just stay as a simple cop. [Cop politics are enough for him, tyvm.]

But, if you don't intend to get into this worlds politics, what will you do?

[ p a u s e ]

Learn to cook, of course.

Perfect answer!

If you ever need any private tutoring, I'm your guy.

[That's not even flirting, he truly just wants everyone ever to find joy in cooking.]

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