TEXT

[craftpunk]

I have some important questions.

Poll #19154 An important Quiz

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 30

View Respondents

How many worlds are there?

View Answers

One.
1 (3.4%)

Innumerable, obviously.
27 (93.1%)

Nine.
1 (3.4%)

What.
0 (0.0%)

Do you still have your powers?

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Yes
15 (51.7%)

No
7 (24.1%)

None of your business
7 (24.1%)

How do you feel about superpowers?

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Yes
17 (56.7%)

No
2 (6.7%)

Sod off.
11 (36.7%)

The Patriarchy is...

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A damaging class system that unfairly marginalizes anyone not a part of the ruling class
13 (50.0%)

The way of the world
4 (15.4%)

The single most damaging system to people of all genders
9 (34.6%)

Imaginary
0 (0.0%)

Which pill?

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Red Pill
9 (33.3%)

Blue Pill
7 (25.9%)

I don't believe in pharmaceuticals
11 (40.7%)

If you had to live anywhere, would it be...

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A dark forest
4 (14.3%)

A fjord
2 (7.1%)

A tundra
2 (7.1%)

Mountains
3 (10.7%)

Somewhere modern
17 (60.7%)

What pulls your chariot?

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Horses
16 (57.1%)

Bulls
4 (14.3%)

Cats
4 (14.3%)

Goats
4 (14.3%)

You solve problems with your:

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Mind
15 (51.7%)

Fists
5 (17.2%)

Charm
4 (13.8%)

Tricks
5 (17.2%)

Anyone else feeling a little extra powerful, lately?

Comments

[shadowglitter]

[ ... !!!! ]

Wait

[ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!! He has to decide between getting free shit and admitting he's a liar?! There is FRANTIC typing and backspacing and typing and backspacing and typing. This is the worst? He's in hell? Or Hel. Haha. Get it? God. It takes him a solid fifteen minutes of actually trying to come up with something to say, before he lands on something. ]

sblebn

[ Fuck, wait! He just key smashed and accidentally hit send! Fuck! Wait! ]

That

That was a spell. That I cast. As Odin. The god. Sblebn. By the Holy Night of Sblebn!! ERASE MY MEMORIES! It
My
I wiped my memory.
A little.
It stands for...
Stop! But! Lo! Egads! By the Nine!
Sblebn.

So.
Soooooooooooo.
Checkmate.
Gift me, bitch! Haha.
(Sorry for swearing.)

[craftpunk]

So first of all: calling me bitch is like the opposite of what you need to do.

Second: what language is Sblebn from, exactly?

[ HE'S ACTUALLY INSULTED NOW ODIN GOOD JOB ]

[shadowglitter]

I'm sorry. Which... I think I already said.
But.
It's okay.
If you missed that.

It's

[ sweats. ]

Have you never heard of The Manual of Justice? The enchantments etched in those sacred pages are of an unknowable script. Rarely, if ever, can man decipher the eldritch text bled in that grimoire. That Chalice of Power.
This is where I discovered this... this word. Of power.
Honestly, it's amazing I even managed to... to translate it. So successfully. Into sbl... lebnlebn.

Hey, can I ask you kind of a weird question?

[craftpunk]

I speak a lot of languages, and there's nothing like that associated with Nordic or High Germanic texts, so no. What region is it from?

And go ahead, if you must ask me a question.

[shadowglitter]

M... ercury.

Okay.

Do you think we're friends?
I know we don't know each other well, but you're really funny and I love talking to you.
I'd like it if we became even closer, especially because we're both basically exactly the same in every way.
I think the two of us could - well. Not fall in love. I literally just got dumped, so I'm not ready for that.
But I'm very attracted to myself. I'd date me.
Our names are the same. You're very likely an alternate universe version of myself. I don't think that's a stretch for me to make.
We could be something special.
I think.
Thoughts?

1/2

[craftpunk]

[craftpunk]

Are you fucking with me?

[shadowglitter]

Buddy.

That's Frey's job, not mine.

[craftpunk]

You don't match my Aesthetic.

[shadowglitter]

Oh.

Actually, that is a very big problem. For me. Aesthetic is very important. I base much of my life around it.

What's your... Aesthetic?

[craftpunk]

[ He's going to regret this. He knows he's going to regret this -- ]

Tall and asian.

[shadowglitter]

I'm literally both of those things?

[ But also - ]

I can see it. I get it.
Good work.

[craftpunk]

...Good work WITH?

[ He almost clarifies. Uses the F-word. But really, even he feels a little filthy calling women that. ]

[shadowglitter]

Good work with the type of friends you like?

[ wrong f word. ]

Look, all I'm saying is I'm 6'1'', my dad's from my universe's version of feudal Japan, and I want you to think I'm an engaging and attractive human person.
So.
Good work on having excellent taste?
I don't know what to tell you.
Do you want me to call you out on being kinda racist? Is that what you're fishing for?
Because I just want you to like me and give me free shit. That's all I'm here for.

[craftpunk]

You wouldn't be the first to call me racist -- but you're also not the first to assume what's behind this mask.

But I don't like having friends who are just in it for the shit I give them. Shouldn't they also bring something to the table?

[shadowglitter]

Man...

I could be your retainer? That's basically just an indentured servant who has to do anything you say and call you My Lord and blindly follow your orders no matter what they are. I'm technically the retainer of somebody here already, buuut he's pretty uncomfortable with the whole "I swear to you I'll die for you by my sword if only you ask" blind bodyguard loyalty I offered to him, and he'd probably like to officially get out of that relationship ASAP.

Otherwise, I don't know what to offer. I wear a lot of mesh bodysuits? Do... you want one?

[fehus]

work transfer denied

[shadowglitter]

I KNEW YOU LIKED IT?

Okay. Then yeah. All I can offer is my heart.

[fehus]

nope i want that too. that's where your loyalty lives, dummy.

i don't mind if you lost some mesh suits.

[shadowglitter]

I'm falling in love with you again?!?!

Okay. I guess it's decided. Woden gets some tight, bodyhugging fishnet and I get his approval and affection. Nice! Friendship terms established!

Not here

[flightforfreedom]

[oh thank fuck]

[reexamined]

Woden, spare him. We both know this conversation isn't going to escalate in a good way.

[craftpunk]

Probably not. He's just so ignorant.

[reexamined]

I think that's meant to be part of the 'charm' he was emphasizing he had.

[craftpunk]

Uh huh. Riiiight.

I wonder if he knows I can't stand him?