Video;

[reexamined]

Hello everyone. I am K-2SO.

[An introduction, because he hasn't actually posted to the Network himself in a while.]

I have an announcement to make.

[Does it have anything to do with the recent Jedi drama??? Maybe Padme getting elected??

No.

Instead he puts on display a picture of Skeets.]

This is Skeets. He is objectively perfect. He also is my boyfriend now.

I just wanted everyone to know. That is all.

[Yeah, he's basically just doing this. He's pretty happy right now, which might be why he's making such a dumb post. But let him just have this once, okay?]

Comments

[reexamined]

Archie spoke to me about you.

[To set the record straight.]

I see.

[Ten years in an attic. He'd probably deactivate himself out of boredom.]

Do you know why?

[subroutined]

[ Ash frowns. He knows exactly why Martha kept him in the attic, but he doesn't like having to say it out loud. ]

I am a copy of her deceased partner. I look like him, I speak like him. I was created to help her through her grief when he passed. But... I'm not him. Not enough. She can't stand to look at me. My distance restriction prevented me from leaving her, and she couldn't bring herself to get rid of me. [ Even though she tried, once. ]

The attic was a compromise.

[reexamined]

[Kay notes the frown.

Yikes, what an awful background.]

Clearly the distance restriction isn't active here, since she isn't here. And that was programmed in, I presume.

You've likely noticed that there are other things that were programmed in that you no longer need to follow. You also might have noticed additional things that were not part of your programming that you are now finding yourself doing.

What are your thoughts on that?

[subroutined]

No, it isn't. And yes, it was.

I've noticed other "abilities" listed in my file. Is that what you mean? I haven't tried either of them yet.

[ Being asked his thoughts is strange. No one's ever asked his thoughts before. Not Martha nor her daughter, certainly. ]

I... think it's a bit creepy. That they have the ability to bring us here and give us "powers." How do they decide who they bring? Or what powers to give them?

[ Why wasn't he given the ability to turn human? ]

[reexamined]

It's entirely random. There has been no noted statistical similarities on any factors. "Fate" decides who is here, who leaves, who stays, and what powers they get.

I've also noted that you think this is situation is creepy. Why do you think this is creepy?

[subroutined]

[ Ash looks a little confused. The concept of "fate" is one he has trouble defining. ]

...Because it's not normal, is it? Super powers. Robots being able to turn human. Two people who look alike but aren't related. Teleportation. It's not possible, but here, it is.

[reexamined]

[Yeah, he's not a fan of it either.]

In my galaxy, with space travel, alien races, and droids, we do not have the technology to make a droid look like an organic as genuinely as you do. You are "not normal" in my galaxy.

Does that make you creepy?

[subroutined]

[ Ash smiles the self deprecating smile of someone about to make a joke at his own expense. ]

I already know I'm creepy, thanks.

[reexamined]

[Oh.]

That wasn't my point.

[subroutined]

[ Genuine confusion. ]

Oh, sorry. What was your point, then?

[reexamined]

My point is that "not normal" does not always make something creepy.

[subroutined]

[ Ash takes a moment to process this, redefine the parameters of what 'creepy' can be defined as. ]

I understand. I suppose it's not so creepy, after all.

[reexamined]

[He recognizes that form of response, which is indicative of a lack of actual critical thought, and rather just an adjustment. Which isn't what he's hoping for, but this isn't a process that can be rushed. He can see potential in Ash, but so far nothing has changed yet. He's just taking orders from another synthetic now, instead of an organic.

Not everyone was programmed with the ability to analyze outcomes, and make decisions, like he was. Not all who can see the decisions and outcomes can then form their own opinions on those outcomes.

Hm.]

Yes. It isn't creepy.

What do you think is creepy now?

[subroutined]

[ Here comes that joke again, like a broken record. ]

What, besides myself...?

[reexamined]

Yes. Besides yourself, and this situation.

I'm not going to give you the answer.

[subroutined]

[ He doesn't have an answer to this. No one has ever asked him to say what's creepy before. He knows he shouldn't consult Google mentally, knows that Martha found it creepy (he could list that, but he thinks it falls under the broader category of 'himself'), but he doesn't know of any other options. ]

Ghosts. Demons. Porcelain dolls. Small children.

[ He pauses. ]

Except I don't find small children creepy. I rather like them. They're messy, maybe, but funny. Maybe it's only particular kinds of small children that are creepy.

[ He does some more Googling. ]

Well dressed small children who may or may not be the antichrist.

[reexamined]

[He can search google too, Ash!! And he does, in fact, do this, to see if Ash is cheating. Not that it isn't obvious, when he says he finds something creepy, and then takes it back.]

You are searching common fears humans have based on movies for a better definition of creepy. Humans fear these things, based on the emotional reactions they evoke. You have no reason to fear those things.

How do you feel about your administrator?

[subroutined]

Well, of course there's no reason to fear porcelain dolls. They don't do anything but sit there. And ghosts and demons and the antichrist aren't real, so there's no reason to fear them either. But they're still creepy.

[ The next question gives him pause. How does he feel about Martha? He hesitates visibly, not knowing what, or how much, to say. ]

I like her? She isn't here, though. I've looked.

[ It's more complicated than that. He loves her, he's programmed to. But she doesn't love him. She doesn't want him. She can't bear to look at him. Still, she couldn't bear to kill him, either. There was some hope in that. ]

[reexamined]

You like her, because you are programmed to.

[It's the only way he'd still like her after being left in an attic.]

I understand this. I also have experienced this.

[But it's different for me.

Isn't it?]

Are you capable of running simulations on potential scenarios involving her?

[subroutined]

[ Ash frowns slightly when K-2SO points out that he likes Martha because of his programming. That makes it sound like his feelings aren't real. They're real enough, to him, but he won't argue. What K-2 said was true, in the end. ]

I suppose I could. What sort of scenarios?

[reexamined]

Run a simulation on her death.

[subroutined]

[ Ash hesitates. Just downright freezes in place for a long moment. Then his face turns horrified. ]

I don't... want to.

[reexamined]

Why?

[He knows why. But he's pushing the envelop on purpose.]

It's a potential reality you would have to face at some point. You're synthetic, she's organic. Organics die.

[subroutined]

I know.

[ If anyone knows about people dying, it's the one who is literally a copy of a dead man. ]

If she died-- When she dies. I'll likely be left to our-- [ A pause. No, that's not right. ] To her daughter.

[reexamined]

That's not a simulation, that's an obvious prediction.

[Droids are often passed around like jewelry or fine china or whatever the star wars equivalent to that is.]

Run a simulation. With details.