video | Monday, August 4th | this is either a public confession or when these guys all join AA

[lyingheart]

[ The camera turns on, and for a moment attempts are made to find a point of focus: first the screen shows the top of Annie’s head and part of Reiner’s arm, then just Reiner, Bertholdt’s elbow -- each adjustment forces the others out of the frame. Finally the camera is pulled out further and, as they all stand assembled, Annie climbs on top of a chair that gives her enough height to be past even with Reiner’s shoulder, ending the camera’s focusing woes. Shortie. It’s Annie who starts speaking. ]

ImPorts. In light of recent circumstances, we’ve spoken with representatives of the United States military in regards to this announcement... and now we’re speaking to any interested as a courtesy.

My name is Annie Leonhart.       My name is Reiner Braun.       My name is Bertholdt Hoover.

And we are Titan shifters.

[ Annie continues on her own after that announcement, measured and steady, for all her pauses. ]

Annie: On our world, Titans are immense monsters, human-like creatures that are mindless in their singular goal of devouring of humans. There're a few who seem more aware than others... and then there’s us. We have an... ability to shift between our human form and that of a Titan. It’s not something we can explain. It just is.

The actions we’ve taken back home, those missions... without the Walls, or the world that lies behind outside of them, they’re pointless. There’s no explanation or reasoning for what we’ve done there that we can share. There’s no apology we can offer. All we can say is that we're all directly and indirectly responsible for the loss of human lives there. It’s a fact that both civilian and military blood stains our hands. It isn't a course of action we've continued while here. We don't intend to start now.

[ Reiner clears his throat at that, taking a moment to exchange a silent look with Bertholdt before he decides to speak. He looks stoic and determined, every bit the picture of the responsible soldier he is about to reject entirely. Standing a bit behind him, Bertholdt drops his gaze for a moment. His focus returns to him and he stares, concentrated but anxious, at the camera. ]

Reiner: For years humanity was protected from the Titans by the massive Walls that surrounded the remainder who had still survived -- that peace lasted for about a century until the outer Wall was breached by two deviant-class Titans... that was me, and Bertholdt. He got us through, and then I broke down the inner Wall. Before then no other Titans had the ability to do something like that, so it was the two of us that allowed for ⅓ of humanity to perish after that day five years ago.

[ Annie interjects, voice clipped and blunt: ]

Annie: The refugees were marched out a year later on the king’s order. He's accountable for those lives, too.

[ Annie frowns, almost surprised at herself, and glances to the side. She turns her face toward Reiner before looking back toward the communicator as she speaks. It’s progressively harder for her to look straight ahead. Reiner silently puts his hand on her shoulder. ]

Annie: I’ve been called the Female Titan. I was responsible for the many of the deaths of Survey Corps members during the excursion into Wall Maria lead by Commander Erwin. I was later cornered and apprehended in the Stohess District... though I wouldn’t be able to tell you what collateral damage I was responsible for there. I’m a neutralized threat back home.

[ She makes herself look straight into the lens of the camera again, this time unwavering. ]

Annie: None of us are a threat here. Not to this world, nor to these people. I don’t expect you to take my word on that, or even understand or care about what I'm saying. It doesn’t make it any less true. We’ve been instructed by the military in this country that as long as we adhere to a strict code of proper conduct, acting as model citizens and exemplary... [ Not Heroes; she can’t stand that term on a good day, and today is not a good day: ] ... imPorts, we’ll be guaranteed sanctuary.

[ Bertholdt cuts in, a steady voice despite how uneasy he looks: ]

Bertholdt: And we are grateful for that. This place has given us some peace and time to think and live without the actions of our past coming back to attack us constantly.

[ He trails off; it's only half true. A short silence follows. Sanctuary here is its own kind of joke. Annie opens her mouth again, hesitating, before she sets her shoulders. She speaks, tone carefully neutral. ]

Annie: I... those who wish to discontinue associations, such things will be respected.

[ Reiner nods in agreement, crossing his arms over his chest. ]

Reiner: We all understand that some things can’t be forgiven. But this is the reality of the situation, the truth about who we are -- we don’t intend on deceiving anyone. Just like if we were to do something similar here we wouldn’t expect anyone to hold back from taking action against us.

[ There’s another brief silence following Reiner’s words, where they all look toward the camera. It’s a chilling thought, but no one contradicts what Reiner’s said. The people here are much more frightening than they are. ]

Annie: For those things you may want to say or ask... We’re listening. We’ll respond to what we can for the next hour or so. After that... we have our communicators. You’ll know how to find us.

[ Annie starts to move forward, but as she does, the chair she’s on tips with her. With a startled look on her face, and a windmilling of her arms, she disappears off camera to crash to the ground with a muffled thump. It takes a second for Bertholdt to realize that Annie's falling and it's only after she did fall that he reacts, bending down and checking to see if Annie's okay. ]

Bertholdt: ... Annie? Annie... Are you okay?

[ Muffled sounds of frustration meet the question, and a hand covers the lens, ending the feed a moment after. ]

Comments

[soldiarity]

Yeah. They have the right to be mad -- that's not going to kill me, or anything. I'm fine.

People from our world wouldn't understand, either. Either way, we're still murderers.

[huitzilin]

Everyone does bad things and good things. When the bad things happen, everyone just gets mad but that person hurts themselves because they feel like they should suffer. You don't have to do that.

Monsters are okay. Monsters can save people, too. Kaine is a monster and he saved me.

I know he'll save me again. You can save people, too. Just because you hurt people before doesn't mean you have to hurt yourself because they're dead. People are good and bad, monsters are good and bad.

[soldiarity]

You really trust him that much?

[ It surprises him, in a way -- not this specific situation, but that in general it's possible. He can't picture the same thing happening with himself from people who haven't done just as terrible things. ]

I know I can save people, I've done it plenty of times. And I know there's no undoing what's been done, either. Whatever any of us do now can't change it, no amount of good that'll cancel it out -- monsters are only monsters if the good and bad aren't equal.

[ He says it all with a resigned sort of tone, like it's something he's heard or convinced himself of many times already. With an exhale, so confused: ]

I'm not hurting myself. Why do you think that?

[huitzilin]

Of course I do.

[ like the thought itself not to trust him had really never occurred to her. like that's the end of it. no, she always trusted Kaine, without any question, but then again, she always knew that he'd save her again. ]

No, people who died are people who died. People who died don't come back, and there's no making it up. But that doesn't mean you can't be a hero!

[ hello jazz hands. then she stops to peer at the camera at him. ]

Because this is hard.

[ she knows it's hard for Kaine, too. ]

Maybe I can help.

[soldiarity]

[ This girl... Reiner blinks, because it takes effort and focus just to keep up with her energy. ]

Being a hero would be nice. [ He has to admit it... though he may be the only one of their trio who would want something like that. ] But for that people would need to trust me first, don't you think? Or any of us. And I could only do as much as my human body can keep up with, shifting in a city would cause too much damage.

[ Despite the convenience in situations where walls need to come down.

It is hard, but what isn't? ]

Help how?

[huitzilin]

You'd be a great hero! No one has to trust you can just save people! You could have a codename and everything! We can all save people, we're superheroes!

[ like that ... completely settles it. and then like the two subjects connect: ]

Oh, my superhero power is seeing what people are thinking and feeling. I might be able to find something in your mind, if you wanna know.

[soldiarity]

[ He makes a face, not an unkind one but something skeptical, almost amused in how blithely she can say all that. Reiner's too far wrapped up in guilt and feeling sorry for himself to know how he should deal with anything other than people hating him now that it's all out there. ]

The saving people I can do. I don't know about the codename. Don't you need to wear a cost--

[ But the other part of what she says sinks in and he immediately gets tenser, sterner. ]

... You should really stay out of there.

[huitzilin]

I might be able to help.

[ waving a finger. ]

There might be something there that helps you! If you know about it, we can find a way!

[soldiarity]

[ He looks uncertain and a bit pale, eyebrows furrowed low. ]

Even I barely know what it's like in my head. I don't know what you could do.

[huitzilin]

Well, if you wanna know we can go on a quest! Right into your head! We'll find out and then maybe we could find some explanations.

It's okay if you're uncomfortable, usually people are.

[ whether or not she usually cares is another matter entirely. ]

[soldiarity]

That's not a good idea. I really don't...

[ Not like he has a compelling argument against except "stay out of my heaaaad." ]

How is this supposed to work or help?

[huitzilin]

[ floating close to the camera. ]

You can find out if there's weird stuff in there. It might answer some of your questions.

also this is all fine for her to pick up on AS AN FYI

[soldiarity]

[ "Weird stuff"... there's definitely that. On the other hand, maybe there's memories in there that'll help him and Bertholdt; things he's forgotten and buried somewhere but that Bertholdt still suffers nightmares from.

Jesse Pinkman had recommended a professional, and Reiner agreed that was best -- he wants advice on how to fix this problem himself, he wants insurance that he'll stay himself through the process. But she could go ahead whenever she wanted without him knowing, couldn't she? ]

I don't know.

[huitzilin]

[ she definitely could, but look at this face. she catches on that he's unsure, definitely. ]

You can think about it!

I'll be here when you decide.

[soldiarity]

[ ( sweats ) ]

... Thanks. I will think about it. [ And probably consult Bertholdt's opinion. ] Do you see what everyone's thinking? ... Hear?

[huitzilin]

Kinda like that. I can feel what people are feeling too.

[soldiarity]

All the time?

[huitzilin]

Not all the time all the time.

[soldiarity]

Do you choose to turn it on and off?

[ Now he's just curious. ]

[huitzilin]

[ sounding thoughtful, like this is the first time she's had to think about this. ]

Mm, nooo, more like ... sometimes people are louder and sometimes not. Sometimes I can feel it better and sometimes I can't. Sometimes I can't at all! I can hear Kaine all the time. He's the only one.

[soldiarity]

[ He laughs slightly, caught off-guard by that answer. ]

Wouldn't that make it hard to live with him?

[huitzilin]

No, it makes it easier.

[soldiarity]

Really? He doesn't mind?

[huitzilin]

I think he got used to it.

[soldiarity]

That kind of thing... I guess a person could, but I don't think I'd ever come to like it.