VOICE

[burlyboy]

Right, so. Thought experiment. Bear with me here.

Let's say you got a chance to go back and change whatever that dumb shit you did was - you know, the point where everything went wrong, or you wish you would've done something differently. Only if you change that, that means erasing everything that ever happened after too, good or bad. Everything you're proud of, and all the friends you made.

Would you do it?

[ Hm. This sounds super specific and super suspicious! HE'S JUST GONNA... COUCH IT A LITTLE. ]

I met a really weird witch, fellas.

[ #nailedit. Which is to say: hello, everyone, one Magnus Burnsides is back in town and, ostensibly, acting as though he never left! ]

Comments

[burlyboy]

I mean, it, uh... it all depends on why you'd make the decision in the first place, y'know? If the people you'd make it for would have your hide if they knew what had happened, it makes the decision a little easier.

[ Right? ]

[youresovein]

Don't tell me. They would be upset that you'd been too selfless on their behalf?

[burlyboy]

What? No, that's - no. There'd be nothing selfless about changing things, I'll tell you that much - that'd be a one-hundo percent selfish move. [ He could swear up and down that he was doing it for them, for their city, for their future - but it wouldn't be true. It would be because he wanted it so bad, he'd be willing to compromise the entire world just to get it. And he almost did. ] They'd be pissed that I decided to rewrite all the good shit I've done just because I wanted to. She -- they'd beat me ten times to next Tuesday.

[youresovein]

Oh wonderful, I was going to be so thoroughly bored if your answer was one of those tedious stories about racing to martyrdom.

So it's the shame, then, that got you in the end. You could have done it, but you couldn't have looked her in the eye afterwards.

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus rolls his eyes. ]

I'm not talking about this for your amusement, guy. [ He's right, though. Magnus doesn't want to think that only shame drove him to do the right thing, but if he had known that Julia would be on the other side, urging him to do it - he'd have done it. In a heartbeat. ]

Shame's just another reason to do good, I guess. Just not usually my reason. I don't got a lot of shame.

[ Considering what he'd been wearing when Lestat had first run into him, he probably could have guessed that one. ]

[youresovein]

[ He makes one of those little "hm" sounds that's the verbal equivalent of a shrug, because he's two hundred years old and his conversation partner's thoughts on his amusement aren't in any way relevant, and because the fellow is clearly right about shame. ]

So what is your usual reason?

[ It's been a surprisingly stimulating conversation with a man he's seen nonchalantly devour a brick of cheese. ]

[burlyboy]

Do you need a reason? If you can do good for the sake of doing good, then that's what you should do! If you gotta crack a few skulls in the process, then so be it.

[ Ah, to be a simple man. It's an envious thing, isn't it? ]

[youresovein]

You make it sound like such a simple thing! It must be a comfort to have a moral compass that always points so steadfastly north.

[burlyboy]

Ain't saying I do the right thing 100% of the time. But I give it my all when it counts. I mean, what's stoppin' you?

[youresovein]

Mainly the fact that I'm not a very good person.

[burlyboy]

Dunno if it's that simple. It's not like you're good or bad and then you're just stuck there forever.

[youresovein]

Oh, no, it's more of a spectrum, I understand all that. The trouble is that being bad is more rewarding in nearly every way.

[burlyboy]

Not true. What about dogs?

[youresovein]

... What about them?

[burlyboy]

Dogs are good. Bein' around dogs is rewarding. But dogs don't reward you for being bad - they pay attention to all the good stuff, like taking care of 'em and not raising your voice or being a giant asshole Therefore being bad isn't more rewarding.

On account of dogs.

[ he's got great logic, lestat ]

[youresovein]

There's but one flaw in your reasoning, my friend.

[burlyboy]

Yeah? Shoot!

[youresovein]

I've yet to meet one man half as good as any dog.

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus hoots, clapping his hands. ]

You got me there, buddy! You got me there! But that's no flaw, that's support. Dogs make us be better and reward us for being better, not the other way around.

[youresovein]

Ah, but do you think your dog cares one bit if you're a terrible person once you're out of his sight? A beggar's cur wouldn't trade his master for the world's richest king, and a despot's hound, if kindly treated, will think him a living saint. They love you no matter what kind of monster you are.

[burlyboy]

But you're still not being a terrible person while you're in his sight. So that means you're decent at least a percentage of the time. That's better than being decent 0% of the time.

[youresovein]

A compelling argument. If our gods were dogs, we might avoid sin for their sake rather than our own.

Well, the really nasty ones, at least.

[burlyboy]

[ Magnus barks out a laugh. ]

I've never avoided sinning for a god, for myself or otherwise! It's never seemed worth it.