burlyboy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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maskormenace2018-03-14 08:39 pm
burlyboy) wrote in maskormenace2018-03-14 08:39 pm
VOICE
Right, so. Thought experiment. Bear with me here.
Let's say you got a chance to go back and change whatever that dumb shit you did was - you know, the point where everything went wrong, or you wish you would've done something differently. Only if you change that, that means erasing everything that ever happened after too, good or bad. Everything you're proud of, and all the friends you made.
Would you do it?
[ Hm. This sounds super specific and super suspicious! HE'S JUST GONNA... COUCH IT A LITTLE. ]
I met a really weird witch, fellas.
[ #nailedit. Which is to say: hello, everyone, one Magnus Burnsides is back in town and, ostensibly, acting as though he never left! ]
Let's say you got a chance to go back and change whatever that dumb shit you did was - you know, the point where everything went wrong, or you wish you would've done something differently. Only if you change that, that means erasing everything that ever happened after too, good or bad. Everything you're proud of, and all the friends you made.
Would you do it?
[ Hm. This sounds super specific and super suspicious! HE'S JUST GONNA... COUCH IT A LITTLE. ]
I met a really weird witch, fellas.
[ #nailedit. Which is to say: hello, everyone, one Magnus Burnsides is back in town and, ostensibly, acting as though he never left! ]
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Hell yeah. Tell me when and where, and I'll be there. Oh! And tell me who I should be looking for! Whether you'll be you or, you know, a squishy version of you.
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[he does actually think for a moment.]
Maurtia Falls lounge? It's full of rich pretentious people but we can go and be rowdy and the jokes on them because I have enough money that they can't throw us out.
--> ACTION? more disaster boys for US
HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH YELL HEAH
...he realises he doesn't remember what magnus looks like, so he'll just. wait.]
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Which means Riptide gets a ticket to the front seat of watching Magnus - also obnoxiously tall, but also obnoxiously wide and riddled with scars - go up to some poor sap and boom: ] Hail and well met! Riptide?
[ The poor man stares at Magnus with every ounce of trepidation that one would expect after being assaulted by a large, loud man nonsensically asking him Riptide? as if that's a perfectly normal question. ]
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Hey! Magnus, right?
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[ Magnus pats the other blue-haired man on the shoulder in a friendly sort of way. In turn, the man slinks off, staring wide-eyed at Riptide as he moves, clearly wanting nothing with what appears to be the Tall Boy Brigade.
He turns to Riptide. ]
You got it. You're even tall as a flesh boy, huh?
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[he shrugs, but grins. not even close to bothered with magnus's faux pas.]
You ready to get fucked up and piss off a bunch of rich people? I wore the rattiest clothes I could find. They all have tuxedoes and stuff in there. They're gonna be so mad.
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[ ...Magnus, who is wearing a shirt that says I Flexed And The Sleeves Fell Off, socks with sandals and camo shorts looks plenty scandalizing already. The only reality that remains is that he's got even worse outfits than this one. ]
I'm ready. Let's do this thing!
[ He glances towards Riptide, then pushes the doors open to see what it is they're really dealing with here. ]
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[riptide doesn't know much about fashion, but he thinks magnus looks acceptable. which... says a lot about them both.
he follows just behind magnus - almost next to him and... yeah, it's a classy place. high ceiling in the foyer, crystal chandelier, gold accenting. all the tacky shit rich people love. they're approached by one of the foyer workers, a man dressed in an expensive looking tuxedo.]
This evening's function is closed to the... public, I'm afraid.
[there's an evil glint in riptide's eye. he dramatically pulls something out his hoodie-- two pieces of crumpled up paper. the man looks horrified, like he'd jump back if his job allowed him such luxuries.]
We're pre-booked! I have VIP passes!! [there is no doubt riptide is enjoying this, based on his expression and the pure joy in his voice.] You have to let us in!
[this poor doorman. he doesn't argue further, just takes the papers (gingerly) and looks them over, before nodding and gesturing for them to follow.]
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[ In fairness, Magnus would wear just about anything if you wanted him to. He's a very receptive dress-up doll in the right hands, though there's no guarantee that anything you dress him up in will actually stay on him. What can he say? He's got a penchant for shirtlessness. ]
Thanks buddy! [ He says cheerfully to the doorman, thumping him on the back. The poor soul simply goes oof, having the wind very affectionately knocked out of him, and Magnus strides right on in alongside Riptide before pausing to really take in the place. He whistles, low and impressed, a decidedly uncouth sound. ] This place is fancy. I bet Taako would have a field day in here.
[ Read: Taako would absolutely steal everything that's not nailed down in this place, and Magnus would help him. Magnus is probably not going to tackle that particular vein on his own on account of the fact that he rolls really, really shitty stealth rolls, even as a Rogue. ]
What's the occasion? They've gotta be celebrating something.
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Birthday, maybe? Some kinda ball? Rich people do that, right?
[he stops, nudges magnus and points at the bar.]
There. Order whatever you want, yeah? [a beat.] Oh! D'you think they have caviar? I heard rich people like that a lot!
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[ Magnus doesn't need to be told twice to go to the bar. He orders the fanciest sounding drink on the menu and, upon seeing a man waltzing around holding a tray of raw oysters and caviar, he leans in with a smile. ]
Can I have that?
I beg your pardon?
That. The thing that you're holding. Can I have it? Like, you won't get in trouble right?
I... I suppose not.
Cool cool. Yoink! [ He holds the tray out towards Riptide. ] You ever have raw oysters before?
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Noo... isn't raw stuff bad? I got told to stop eating raw chicken 'cause it was bad? [but... oysters are good? god, he misses energon.] It looks like a rock, gross!
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[ Riptide... don't learn how to be human from Magnus. Normal people aren't like him. He grabs one of the oysters and experimentally slurps it up. He chews.
And then he keeps on chewing. He's not sure what he thinks. He thinks he might hate it? He might hate it. ]
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Uh... it looks, sounds and smells like something you'd find at the bottom of a bin.
[riptide shifts back a bit.]
Don't puke on me.
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I dunno what to make of this, though. It's, like, good and bad at the same time. [ He stares down at the tray, then shrugs, tipping another oyster into his mouth. ] Down the hatch it goes!
[ With his mouth full: ] You should try it! Experience new things!
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then breaks into a grin.]
Drop it in a shot!
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[ ... ]
I'll only do it if you eat one too.
acc just expired so robot icons BUT HE'S STILL HUMAN
...
...
Deal. [he does a shot that was just... sitting on the bar - likely for dramatic effect - then cracks his knuckles.] Right, what're we putting it in? Something sour?
GOTCHA GOTCHA
Hey, barkeep! What drink would you put an oyster in?
I - I beg your pardon?
You heard me. Don't worry, we won't get you in trouble if it goes wrong. You're just doin' your job.
...Tequila?
[ Magnus looks over at Riptide, shrugging and arching a brow as though to ask: you wanna go for it? ]
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[he can't help but laugh, given the exchange.]
Alright. Fuck it up. I'm trying red wine next if this one doesn't kill me.
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[ Magnus drops an oyster into each glass of tequila. It goes plop. It looks revolting, like a giant snorted into a clear glass for their digestion, ostensibly for entertainment or because he's just got some really weird kinks. It's not a good scene.
He grimaces. ]
Our funeral. Deffos are funeral. [ Well, he can't back down now, even though he's pre-emptively regretting everything he's ever done in his entire life that led him down this path. ] Bottoms-up!
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...see, his tastebuds are shot. he doesn't taste things the way humans do as a cybertronian and even as a human, he doesn't know how to properly process bad tastes, good tastes, spicy, ect.
he blinks again.]
S'alright. I guess. Doesn't really taste of anything.
[maybe it does to magnus.]
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He swallows it whole. There's a distinct burn of liquor in his chest and the taste of fish lingering on his tongue and it feels like there's an oyster stuck in his chest and oh no, this was a bad idea. He bursts into sputtering, hacking coughs. ] Oh, no. Oh man, buddy, that was real bad, oh no. I have a whole oyster stuck in my chest.
[ He stares tragically at Riptide. ]
I might die.
[ He might. He's probably died in dumber ways in his past lives. ]
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