maskormenace | fifth level; text

[ Those lucky enough to check the network within the first twenty minutes will see a link to a brand new Kickstarter project, raising funding to open a new Multi-Faith Center/Temple in Maurtia Falls! The pledge levels seem fairly standard... Pledge $5 you get a cool bumper sticker, $15 for a t-shirt. Pledge $50 and you can get your name carved into a pew in the temple. Pledge $150 and your name will be put on a plaque of donors at the entrance.

...Pledge $250 and you get your name on a plaque "and a bag of that dank kush"?? That can't be right...

After those first twenty minutes, however, anyone trying to visit the kickstarter page will get an error message that the project they are trying to fund is no longer available. Following the mysterious disappearance, a text post shows up on the network. ]

well APPARENTLY offering people REALLY AWESOME pledge gifts for donating to your kickstarter project is """"AGAINST THE TERMS OF SERVICE"""!!

buncha narcs.

Anyway, I'm raising money for the new Istus' ImPort Oasis, an up and coming temple in Maurtia Falls that will serve as a place for all imPorts to worship whatever deities they so choose. HMU with that $$$ if you want a t-shirt or a bumper sticker, I GUESS.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Neutral aligned? What do you mean, as in wars? I suppose it would be unfair if a deity were to step directly into those things.

[Look, just because she's obviously some kind of elf doesn't mean she knows her dungeons from her dragons.]

Still, it's good to hear that he and I are in agreement on this!

just means you don't gotta be Good or Evil to worship him; he takes all comers.

Hold on, ARE there gods you need to be Evil to worship? With a capital E? And people who will go along with that?

I thought almost everyone believed they were in the right.

uhhhh Yeah.
Asmodeus
Lolth
Gruumsh

there's plenty.

Children with attitude going through a phase evil, or scourge of all life and civilization evil?

I just feel like the latter would have a few infrastructure problems.

"scourge of all life and civilization, EXCEPT my specific race/religion/etc" type of evil, usually. that or "fuck your laws I'm going to raise the dead if I want to" evil.

That sounds closer to what I expected, then. Do they really CALL themselves evil, though? The way I'm familiar with it, they would talk about it like everyone else is evil, and they are good and right by exterminating them.

[... also, huh.] 'Raise the dead' as in return them to life?

[ He doesn't really have a good explanation for whether Evil aligned people call themselves Evil, so he just shrugs and focuses on the second part. ]

Well, I ain't talking about lifting up corpses! Yeah, necromancers are all about bringing the dead back to life.

I realize this next line of questioning isn't going to bode well, but I promise I'm curious for more academic reasons than because I'm planning to resurrect someone:

How does it work, exactly? If someone were once dead and brought back, how would you know?

Usually it's pretty obvious, but it depends on the kinda undead.

Zombies and skeletons you can tell because (well, because skeletons are skeletons) but also they just sort of shamble around and follow their masters' bidding.

Liches don't have corporeal form, so if you see a shadowy figure in robes, you'll know you're dealing with a lich. That is, unless they cast a spell on you to make you see them as something else, that can happen too.

vampires are harder to place, because until they show their fangs, they look human, or elf, or whatever they were before. Except they tend to stay away from fire and rushing water, cause it can kill them.

I see. I had to ask, since one of the enemies my team had been fighting may very well have been an undead.

Ironically, even though my human friends said, "Dude, that totally sounds like a zombie," I think that might be the only one I can rule out from your guide? He was still intelligent enough to command an empire, at least. And he has an incredibly powerful witch at his right hand, so disguises are certainly possible.

[Emperor Zarkon: Space Lich???]

How does one deal with these, anyway? If they're already dead, is it possible to re-kill them?

WELL the exact vulnerabilities differ from one undead creature to another, but usually radiant damage'll do the trick. undead hate holy stuff.

undead or not, if you hit a thing enough, it'll go down.

Oh! Well, that's a relief, since that was the fundamental backbone of our strategy. When you have a big enough weapon to hit things with, it's amazing how much you can accomplish.

Still, radiant damage? As in light, or perhaps fire? If it's the latter, then I know exactly which of our paladins should be taking him on, at least.

Nah, fire damage and radiant damage are two different things. radiant = holy damage.
paladins are usually good at dealing radiant damage.

Are we really? Perhaps I should take a closer look at our bayards, and see if they have been doing radiant damage.

But that does make sense, in a way. Our team of paladins has been leading the charge in driving Zarkon's forces back.

[Let's recap: An entire team of paladins, fighting a major undead. And she came in here asking about religion and gods like she didn't know Lliira from Lolth.]

Your whole party is paladins? doesn't that get a little, yanno, unbalanced?

No. Why would you think so? If anything, the five paladins of Voltron were chosen as the perfect compliments to each other, both in temperament and skills, to create the most balanced team possible.

yeah, but aren't most adventuring parties made up of a variety of classes? Usually you've got the tank, the spellcaster, the healer (that's me)...

all paladins is just like... a buncha tanks.

What? No, we aren't all tanks! That's more of the Yellow Paladin's job, if it were to belong to anyone.

See, we color-coded them to make it easy to designate their different dispositions and roles.

[ .......does not compute. ]

sounds fake but ok

but

why not just choose different classes?

I'm still not sure what you're getting at here?

Getting named one of the Paladins of Voltron is a great honor. Especially for me, since it was my father who created them. As well as their bayards, and their robot lions.

[Slightly better perks than Smite Evil.]

I think something's being lost in translation here...

when you say "paladin" you just mean, like... adventurer. knight. fighter. right?

fifth level; text

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject