ANONYMOUS POST

[runningstart]

[ The following post begins with a series of pictures with no network tag to identify the poster. However, these pictures are absolutely of houses in Heropa that have been inexplicably (???) decorated in the dark of night.


HEROPA #4



How posh! Enjoy watching the game, Heropa #4!


HEROPA #6



Wow, that’s detailed! Enjoy the love that went into this, Heropa #6! Oh, and probably what a hassle it is to get out the front door also. /kanye shrug


HEROPA #10



Heropa #10 is getting a nice head start on that yard upkeep! Good work ethic, everyone!


HEROPA #15



A sea of Jack O’ Lanterns, but they’re not facing the street. They’re all staring. Right into the house.

At least they’re battery-operated instead of rotting fruit and fire? That’s probably good, right? Enjoy the attention, Heropa #15!


HEROPA #16



Just a bunch of these cute li’l guys strung up all over. Heropa #16 is the cutest scariest house ever.


HEROPA #24



Whew! Heropa #24 got off lucky. Pretty normal decorations. So pretty and colorful, too!


HOOK, LINE & TINKER



Heropa’s most famous imPort bait shop also got hit! Spiders can be used for bait, right?


Below the pictures is the following text: ]

know someone who needs to get into the halloween spirit?
volunteer their hauntingly humble abode for a makeover!


hell, we might hit 'em anyway.

Comments

text;

[timeframes]

id volunteer but pretty sure the decoration would turn year round
partially because like hell im bothering to take any shit down after the 1st
and mostly because my sister would be way too into it but in a radically goth kind of way

anon, permatext

[runningstart]

all year is halloween

halloween is also right next to thanksgiving
give your sister the present (christmas!!) of an eternal halloween.

[timeframes]

i can be the bigger man and say this is way tackier than whatever boring shit i was planning
and spares me the step of having to get invested in getting my hands on a shitload of plastic skeletons
which makes it automatically better because its that twin engine of
i care enough to arrange to have this ridiculous set up done
and i dont care enough to actually do it myself

pretty great blend of passive aggression and familial caring just like christmas should be

alright hit me up
wheres the mailing list or whatever for halloweening the fuck out of my place

[runningstart]

normally i object to taking on other people's grunt work because they're too lazy, but as this is for a good cause we will agree

the mailing list is here
what house do you want us to hit?

[timeframes]

yo objection
its not laziness
id be totally down to participate in whatever sort of nonsense just to wrangle roses bleatbeast
you just cant give off the impression that youre gonna start doing too much work on shitty things in case people start getting expectations for real shit you dig
not that i wouldnt do REAL SHIT if real shit went down its just the principle of it

#001 heropa
are personal requests allowed

[runningstart]

yo objection overruled you just described laziness bro
although i will give you points for working really hard at making it sound like you werent

personal requests are allowed fulfillment is dubious and depends on supplies on hand. shoot

[timeframes]

no dog youre missing the point
its not about the amount of effort or grunting involved
you can put in any level of work towards whatever
that shit comes purely down to sincerity and lack thereof
if people start catching on youre actually sincere they start having standards so you either dont do it or get good at hiding it

alright so

have the skeletons bro hugging it out like this
or at least giving each other a pretty sweet fist bunp
and maybe some sweet shades
to really get the point across they are sweet bros ready to kick it in this afterlife party

[runningstart]

ohhh dude ok ok i think i get it.

so what you're saying is that you have to make sure not to do anything that someone might mistake for sincerity, because then they might raise their standards and expect you to be sincere more often

so it's more EMOTIONAL laziness than physical laziness

[timeframes]

nailed it bro

though on the other hand ive done the callous jackass thing for a while too and even that shtick gets old
so its a moderation thing
if i dont give a fuck about christmas i free up some space in my schedule to be disgustingly honest about something else
like idk a birthday or something

[runningstart]

are you asking us to hit you up for christmas too? because that's also a plan

[timeframes]

just an example but if youre offering im down for scheduling out my holiday defacement in advance
damn at this rate of deflecting sincere holiday emotions im gonna have a fuckload of goodwill and honesty bottled up

[runningstart]

uh oh, what're you gonna do with that?

make sure you let it out in secret
wear a mask and donate to a toy drive.

[timeframes]

yeah this is dangerous
im walking the streets armed and dangerous with a loaded geyser of sincerity ready to unleash on the nearest random stranger
seriously i keep getting enabled like this and its going to be a chernobyl meltdown with me standing in public and hollering to the sky about like animated childrens movies
and maybe like
calling my mom and saying something sappy
urgh

[runningstart]

you may want to consider-

and stick with me here-

you may want to consider just being nice to the people you like, openly, in public.

anon, permatext

[performance]

You can totally put Santa hats on skeletons, btw.
Just saying.

anon, permatext

[timeframes]

i hear this and respect it dude
but seasonalizing your skeletons should take second priority to making them festive for year round with a minimal amount of effort
gotta make sure the skeletons are radical as fuck to begin with and then you dont even have to make christmas additions

[performance]

I appreciate the idea here, but I'm also a fan of variety. That's why you start with a versatile base (skeletons) and accessorize as you go.

[timeframes]

shit dude
or whoever you are since for whatever reason you dont want to attach a name to this pretty sweet skeleton art project
that almost sounded philosophical
could really get navel gazey with that shit
arent we all just fuckin versatile bases (skeletons) that we accessorize as we go

unless you got a exoskeleton im not about to discriminate there either

anyway im thinking you accessorize in as dope a way as possible and it makes its way from sort of funny for two weeks to transform into timeless classic
which means you gotta include at least one skeleton riding a skateboard
pure baller

[performance]

Wow. I'm gonna request that on my tombstone for when I'm a skeleton. That is the deepest thing I've ever heard.

Skeletons riding a skateboard is so 1990s, dude.
With neon colors and holographic flame decals?
But maybe that's retro now? So it's cool again?

[timeframes]

its bullshit but its prime tombstone bullshit
personally im going for lived as died: kicking ass
but you got to stay original

unlike our time on this wretched fuckin earth and our brief spin around this mortal coil the 90s never die man
it was always cool
backwards baseball caps and terrible jeans are eternal and all you need is the confidence to pull it off

[performance]

Wow.
I'm honestly not sure if that's desperately cynical or remarkably sincere.

[timeframes]

see i think were starting to really tune into the 90s ethos here bro
is it the voice of a generation coming off the 80s busting a boomtown nut and seeing nothing but the road to glorious red white and friggin blue prosperity paved by neon lights
or just the kids are so goddamn steeped in consumerist nihilism that nothing but the consumption of more cheap plastic crap and watching some punks get sprayed with bright green goo gets you going anymore

point is
90s skeletons would be fucking awesome and everyone is going to be jealous of my sweet lawn

[performance]

And to think I never realized that philosophy and skateboarding plastic skeletons could intersect. You're expanding my mind here, dude.

[timeframes]

you can make anything pretentious if you try
just have to put a little muscle into it
should see some of the opinions ive had about early 90s romcom protagonists and glitch hop vs electro house

[performance]

Now you're just making up genres of things.