maskormenace | [Video]

Listen up people of Earth, this is Cayde-6 speaking. First point of order: I have been informed that I'm your new Gun Safety Campaign Spokesman and I am very happy to keep your guns safe. Safe with me because my gun didn't make the trip and I'm feeling so very, very, very naked without it. If anyone can give me a loaner I'll owe ya big time.

Point number two: Just ... think of this as one of those ice-breaking exercises. You know the ones where everybody's awkward and doesn't wanna talk but you gotta answer some stupid question? One of those. Just. Just out of idle curiosity: what is your favorite thing about Earth? It can be anything, doesn't matter how small. In fact, it might be the small things that are the most important. Asking for a friend who isn't used to seeing it so ... intact.

[He counts out his fingers to four, thinks again, and subtracts one.]

Aaand number three: gimme the skinny on good places to eat around Maurita Falls? Extra points for good ramen joints. And I mean the real stuff, none of that instant business.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was bestowed upon me by my people. I did not seek the title.

And you can't be all "thanks but no thanks" about it?

It would be insulting to refuse such an honor.

What concern is this of yours?

Lotta aliens calling themselves gods have done a lotta bad when I'm from, so it's kind of a touchy subject. Hell, before my time more than a few humans did the same.

What planet are you from?

The one we're standing on. By my reckoning, it's still got a few centuries before the Bad Thing happens.

You do not look human.

Yeah yeah I get it, it's the robot thing. But trust me I'm as human as they come, just like any other Exo. We got converted some time in the past.

Converted?

Sometime during the Golden Age, the Clovis Bray corporation figured out how to dump human consciousnesses into tin cans. Dunno why or how they did it, because all that tech got lost in the Collapse.

So you are essentially a droid.

Second time I've heard that and I dunno your meaning exactly but we are distinct from other A.I. And truth is—and nobody likes hearing this—you gotta think of those other A.I. as people too in a way. I mean like they've all got different personalities. And some of those personalities is that they're huge dicks.

They are only as much as their programming.

That sounds like a great way to get yourself killed by a pissy A.I.

I commanded the largest droid army the galaxy has ever seen. They would not dare and they would not be clever enough to harm me.

[Oh that seals it. Cayde DEFINITELY thinks guy is an asshole now, knowing what he chooses not to say about Clovis Bray.]

And I'm sure that worked out great for you.

The war is ongoing.

Best of luck to you on that.

Just ponder this one thing for me, though. What happens if your robot army is as inclever as you say they are and, say, you and all your command structure falls apart? What happens to all those machine soldiers? Who do they kill and how is anyone supposed to stop it?

I have learned much about the future. It is a complicated situation.

So ... robot rampage, yes or no?

No, only manipulation from those in positions of power.

Well that's a bummer. See, this is why I'm not big into politics. I like to keep my conflicts simple. See a bad guy, shoot the bad guy in the head, take a break for lunch.

Then if you wish to target the so-called 'bad guy' you should keep an eye out for the one known as Count Dooku.

I'll put it on my list, but it'd help a lot if I had a gun.

I cannot emphasize enough how nice it'd be to have one, there's only so much you can do with a knife and a fistful of Light.

It is easy enough to acquire a weapon.

What can you do with a fistful of light?

[Video]

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