1st 💀 Video;

[golisolation]

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Comments

[crypdick]

I'm sure you do.

[ The Outsider is good at reading people but honestly with Guzma he didn't even have to try. ]

Reality and dreams were not as separate as they should have been. You missed it. It was quite the show.

[golisolation]

This place is all kinds of fucked, ain't it?

[The more he hears, honestly, the more he's left wondering what this world even is. Unstable, comes to mind, but maybe that's the cost of dealing with trans-dimensional portals.

...which just makes him think of Lusamine and the Ultra Wormholes. Hm.]

[crypdick]

It's certainly been entertaining so far.

But I wouldn't know what standard you would measure it against. It has been very clear that my standard is not the norm.

[golisolation]

Yeah? This sorta crap is usual for you?

[Not that he doesn't have things popping up out of wormholes from different dimensions from back home. Even people! It's just... less controlled, and less frequent than this place has it going down.]

Can't say similar hasn't happened where I'm from. Don't make it any less fucked, though.

[crypdick]

There are no others from my world here, and I would know, and I suspect none from a world quite like mine. But there are things here that ring with familiarity. But if they were the same as my usual, it wouldn't be nearly so fascinating.

[golisolation]

...Man, whatever gets you going I guess. I gotta admit, it keeps things interestin', but there's better ways to stay entertained than seeing what jackasses get dumped here.

Do you drink? Or get high? That'd probably way more interestin'.

[crypdick]

I have spent so long without being able to live and breathe and experience life, I have no need to alter my mind or numb my senses.

Not when it is finally clear. At least, mostly.

[golisolation]

...Wait, what?

[EXCUSE ME?]

[crypdick]

I said none come from a world quite like mine. I have found that many worlds have their quirks. Some describe travelling the stars, some are from worlds of heroes, and you come from one that has pokemon.

Mine has the Void. There is the world where I once lived and walked. Then there is the Void. Real but not real, there but not. A place, but one in everyone's minds. A realm outside time.

After thousands of years in the Void, now that I am here I intend to enjoy my freedom fully.

[golisolation]

Shit, man...

[He can't even begin to imagine what that's like. It's such a far off concept from anything he's experienced personally, and while one could argue that Guzma doesn't lack imagination, this is some abstract shit.]

I dunno, if I were you, that'd be even more reason for me to get drunk or high. If you ain't experiencing shit in that crappy void, then what's more to enjoying your freedom than getting trashed?

[Not everyone wants to get stupid drunk to enjoy things, idiot.]

[crypdick]

Because there are things that I find more interesting that would be hampered if I were hammered.

[golisolation]

Like what, huh?

[Guzma's of the opinion that those are enhancers, not hamperers, tyvm.]

[crypdick]

Some things require delicacy. [ He knows that's not an answer. ]

But you don't seem like the delicate type.

[golisolation]

You got me, dude. Delicate ain't me.

[He shrugs, grinning.]

As far as I'm concerned: if shit's so delicate, then it's just meant to be destroyed. No two ways about it.

[crypdick]

Does that include your psyche?

[golisolation]

...You wanna get beat down!?

[crypdick]

Now how would you do that?

[golisolation]

Uh, find your ass, and then beat it. This ain't goddamn rocket science, yo.

[crypdick]

I'm sure that will be easy, won't it?

[ He's not really a fighter. The hint of sarcasm comes more from him doubting Guzma could catch him at all. ]

You know, I think you might have potential.

[golisolation]

Yeah!?

[But then he says that next bit and it catches Guzma. He's not sure what to do with that comment, and so his anger twists into confusion, maybe a touch of bafflement.]

Uh, the fuck you mean by that, yo? I'm well past havin' only potential!

[crypdick]

Whatever you were, whatever you did before, that matters less than what you do now. And I think you might put on a good show.

But we'll see, won't we?

[golisolation]

[Uh...]





So...

[beat]

Are you... wanting that beatdown, or..?

[HE IS SO THROWN OFF BY THIS WEIRD CRYPTIC SHIT.]

[crypdick]

Did you still want to give me one?

[ Genuinely curious, as if they were talking about someone else. ]

[golisolation]

[Now he's not sure. Never before has his anger been so thoroughly extinguished by crushing confusion. What the hell even are you, Outsider!?]

...I mean, yeah?

[He doesn't sound convinced.

To be fair, he always wants to beat someone down, but this whole thing went from him being immediately riled, to confused into near complacency.]

[crypdick]

You wouldn't be the first.