maskormenace | 1st 💀 Video;

[The feed clicks on, and everyone is greeted with Guzma grinning like a total jackass. He looks the part too, white and black hair, yellow sunglasses on his head that are asymmetrical, purple around his eyes that... might be makeup? Lets not forget that fat gold chain around his neck with a gold emblem of a S that looks like a skull. This guy is, uh, something else.]

Attention fellow ImPorts—it's your boy Guzma!

[He pauses a moment, as if making sure he's got people's attention, like what he has to say is somehow important. Well, he thinks everything he has to say is important on some level, but whatever.]

This shit really connected to y'all? Awful convenient, huh? Guess y'all better get used to hearing from ya boy on the regular. That's right, big bad Guzma ain't gonna be letting this shit fall into disuse.

[Great news for you guys...]

So! If you ain't looking for a beat down, I suggest you make yourself useful. I just showed up, and while I ain't no punk loser who ain't got a clue on how to deal with being brought somewhere new so suddenly, may as well do some info gathering, huh?

I suggest you cough up what useful shit you got to share that them stiffs didn't go into. Don't go wasting my time with useless garbage, neither. I'm in the mood to kick some ass, so if you wanna just hand me an excuse to smash your dumbass into the ground, I ain't gonna stop you.

[Honestly, is he looking for info, or a fight? Maybe both. He shrugs, and then points to his head, tapping his temple while emphasizing his next part:]

But! Those of ya who got something in that skull of yours, y'know, a little bit of sense? A brain, maybe? You'll realize real quick what a stupid idea it is to get on the hated boss' bad side.

So, hurry it up! I ain't got all day.

[Yes he does, he literally has nothing better to do right now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ... ]

You're delusional.

Like I ain't heard that shit before.

Look man, I'll wreck anyone in my way, including them OTO assholes if I gotta. Don't care if ya think I can or not, I ain't got shit to prove to some skeptic like you.

And your boisterous claims will fall on deaf ears when you fall prey to the OTO's machinations, just like everyone else who got too big for their boots.

Are you comin' at me like this 'cos of some misplaced bit of concern, or are you just seein' if you can whittle down my resolve? 'Cos I got news for you pal...

No, let me guess. Your obstinance knows no bounds. There's no convincing you that you're anything other than the greatest.

Ain't no reason to believe anything other than reality, yo! I'm the greatest trainer in all of Alola, and that ain't changing just 'cos I got brought here!

Edited 2019-06-15 14:15 (UTC)

[ Oh no, not another one. ]

Don't tell me... You're one of those Poke-mon people?

Yeah, dude!

[Not only is he another one, he's also...]

I'm the leader of Team Skull! The strongest Pokémon trainer you'll ever get the privilege of meeting, yo!

[ Under his breath: ] I wouldn't exactly call it a "privilege."

Is being hard headed and foolish a requirement for being a Pokémon trainer?

[Guzma catches that, but hey he's barely insulted. He relishes in people hating him, after all.]

Arguably.

[He concedes.]

Ain't never seen some soft, sane person get very far in their trials. Course, foolish is a bit relative...

[It does take a certain kind of foolishness to willingly take on training these murder beasts, especially at the tender age of 11 or younger, honestly...]

Of course. One can't be sane to try to tame wild beasts into fighting their battles for their own amusement.

[ Akobi only has the barest understanding of what Pokémon trainers do, from his brief encounter with Archie and the hologram Dragonite.

...Back before he hated Archie's guts. ]

Tch, maybe that's what they do in other regions, but it ain't just for amusement in Alola.

[Traditions, coming of age, etc.]

And they're more than wild beasts yo, y'act like they're mindless or something. They ain't.

What, it's a matter of life and death? Train and digitize them before they overrun you completely?

[ Again, not helping the "they're not mindless" argument. ]

Yo, who the hell's been explainin' this shit to you?

[Guzma's not really one to explain things to people, but he's a little bit surprised by this.]

Pokémon are as much a part of our culture and society as the people in it, man. It ain't about just capturing and collecting 'em--we work as partners. Ain't no one gonna catch a Pokémon if the Pokémon ain't feelin' it. If you're good enough, and the Pokémon thinks you're worthy, then they'll let ya catch 'em. But if you're some two-bit loser who don't know shit about trainin' 'em, they ain't gonna waste their time on you. Pokémon naturally like to battle, we just bring out their potential for it.

[He explains this all, but he sounds annoyed doing it. Like if someone was explaining the most simplest of concepts to someone who should know this shit. Even though Akibo has a good reason as to why he doesn't.]

This is basic shit, but beyond that the traditions in Alola are dictated by the will of the Tapu--Pokémon that are legendary, and shaped our society from its roots, yo.

So not only do you use them as weapons, you worship them as gods.

[ Yeah, he's... not getting it. ]

That's a real simple way of lookin' at it. It ain't all battling, they help with shit like construction, power plants, so on. But! If that's all you can do to get it, simplify it like that, then there ain't much to be done, huh?

[Yeah, he's just gonna assume Akibo's stupid if it's that hard for him to grasp.]

As for worshipping them as gods--look I ain't too fond of how these traditions are being handled myself, but the Tapu ain't ones to be pushed around. They've taken out a whole town when angered before, so appeasing them is what we do.

[The Tapu are pretty damn vengeful when they're made unhappy, Guzma's seen that wrath first hand. It's not pretty.]

[ It's not as though the concept of using animals for labor is lost on Akobi. His own galaxy has plenty of examples. Taun-tauns, wampas... you name it. So he's not as dim as Guzma seems to think he is, he just can't separate the notion of creatures = lesser beings, not equals. ]

Is it possible to tame one of these... "Tapu," and catch them in one of your little ball devices?

[The thing that Akobi is missing is the fact that Pokémon are sentient, even if they just look like animals. Or objects. Or... unfortunately more human like.]

Tch. Technically, you could, yeah.

[But who would try to catch what amounts to basically a god?]

But it's pointless if the Tapu don't think you're worthy, yo! Ain't no one in Alola that's gonna try to catch a sacred Pokémon like that.

Edited 2019-06-17 00:26 (UTC)

[ Having no real religious affiliations himself, Akobi cannot relate. ]

I take it "Alola" is the name of your planet?

[There's religious affiliation, and then there's these crazy Pokémon killed a man, and destroyed a village because it didn't like where a megamart was built. I'm sure throwing a Poké Ball is a one-way ticket to smitesville if the thing wasn't interested in being treated like some random wild Pokémon.

Guzma's just assuming Akobi either got it through his head, or he's just given up on that front. Either way works for Guzma. It's not like he's fond of the traditions of Alola, anyway.]

Nah, Alola is the region I'm from.

[ It's definitely the latter. He's getting awful tired of petty squabbles. ]

I see. Well. Welcome to Earth. I hope you'll conduct yourself with the appropriate level of courtesy, as a guest on this planet.

Thanks, yo.

I'll be sure to act the part of the ignorant outsider, as is what's expected of foreigners.

[He's gotten plenty of examples to follow with Alola opening up to the rest of the world, so surely he'll do just fine.]

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