text

[hypnotherapy]

Well, with recent events, I suppose now is as good a time as any to do this.

I understand many of you come from worlds in which advanced technology is either nonexistent or hasn't yet reached a point in which artificial life can be created.

So, in acknowledgement of this fact,and the fact that it seems to be time to welcome new imPorts once again - my name is Magicman. I am an artificial intelligence. Ask me anything.

video

[dendarii]

[ Naismith's beaming face is not a terribly unusual sight on the network. Still, something seems ... a bit different today. The camera angle is wider, framing him seated in a chair rather expansively, leaning on one elbow in a manner that is both relaxed and confident. Those who know him well - or have seen him in person and have a keen eye for this sort of thing - may notice what the change is: he's taller today, not dwarfed by his chair for once in his life. Perhaps the most obvious indication is a flicker of Gregor next to him, who is decidedly much smaller than Miles at the moment. They've swapped their heights thanks to Haen, and Miles mostly couldn't be happier.

But that's not what he's here to talk about. He clears his throat and brightens still further as he starts to lay out his proposal. ]

I'm happy to announce that the Dendarii Security Corporation is officially accepting new members. Our primary service is to provide protection to both natives and imPorts alike. Because quite frankly, things get entirely too exciting around here on entirely too frequent of a basis.

Currently we're looking for - well, just about anyone really. But we really need an in-house healer or medico, and at least a few who are more technically inclined. And of course we'll need plenty of muscle. Former soldiers, apocalypse survivors, et cetera and so forth.

[ A pause. He spreads his hands expansively. ]

What we are not is some sort of private army. Protection only, and I hope to funnel our resources into providing this protection to imPorts free of charge. It really is terrible that the only option for many of us is to register, if only for practical purposes. We ought to have a choice, yes? Especially in these troubled times.

Anyway. Contact Greg or myself if you are interested - and I do hope that many of you are. Naismith, out.

[ He also helpfully provides a link to this page, which has further information on applying and contracting the Dendarii. ]

Text, backdated to before the Swear-in starts

[doesntdomuch]

So I think I was gone for a day? When I went to bed last night it was the 10th and it's now the 12th so I'm assuming so.

Sorry if I worried anyone, but I'm back now.

On the bright side, I feel a lot stronger than I did before I left.

I have no idea how to explain that but if anyone wants to meet up with me to test how much stronger I am now.

In any case it's definately not the worst birthday present I've ever gotten.

Video;

[wizzardly]

[The first thing to come over the feed will be a too-close shot of a handmade sign before the wizard gets the right angle to show his face and the small park behind him in Nonah. He appears to be Unhappy.]

Right, okay, was I not legible enough, do you think? Should I have offered translations? I consider myself rather patient on the whole, but when some idiot - for the third time in two days - takes a clear warning and turns it into an invitation to create the sort of disaster which loses me my job, I get the feeling this blasted sign is doing more harm than good. So let's just make something clear, shall we?

This - [the video shifts for a moment to show a wooden trunk on legs, running full tilt behind him after a few terrified squirrels] - is not a pet! It is certainly not some sort of tame training dummy for empty-headed fighters to test their skills on. It is a monstrosity crafted of sapient pearwood, and when it feels its owner, who happens to be me, is being attacked, it eats people. No stern warnings, no shining letterheads or gentle taps on the shoulder, just death. Maybe missing fingers or a quick trampling, if they're lucky.

Am I making myself clear enough? Try to hurt me, this man right here, and my magical box will murder you, and I will watch.

[a pause.]

...Provided I have not already run away.

[Rincewind nods sharply, then takes off his sign and throws it in a trash can.]

There. I've officially done all I can do, I've said my piece, this is no longer my responsibility. [he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.] Honestly, I don't understand how it was so difficult to understand in the first place. You see a sign telling you not to do something - who then thinks 'Oh, well surely they don't mean that for me?' I swear, no matter where I find myself, it seems I'm always the only sane man arou -

[there's the loud crack of splintering wood and the sound of several screaming members of the rodent family. Rincewind (and the video) looks behind him to see that the Luggage has knocked down a large oak tree in its pursuit of the squirrels. His face drains of color.]

Oh bugger - !

ALIGN 07 ☰ VIDEO; (backdated to Mar 5th)

[grimreaping]

[ Kid's been absent for the better part of the week in the wake of the Debrecen bombings. He didn't inform anyone of where he was going, but given the backdrop of his video feed, he's back in Maurtia Falls. He looks more than a little rumpled and dirty, as if he's been wearing his same suit the whole time (he has been). Nonetheless, he addresses the viewers levelly and calmly. ]

In response to the American government's bombing of Debrecen, in the murder of unaffiliated and undefended civilians, I went to Hungary to assist with the aid efforts. Needless to say, the Hungarian citizens were not pleased by my presence... there was a great deal of resistance to my helping, at times violent. Despite that, I was able to help recover some survivors.

[ Too few of them, though. That definitely explains some of the damage and traces of blood on his clothing... the injuries may have since healed, but the evidence they left doesn't evaporate. ]

I did this in full awareness that my actions would be deemed criminal by the US, and have contacted the proper authorities that I am awaiting their arrival for my arrest, which I do not intend to resist. But I want to make it clear that even benevolent aid efforts, when they are directed to those whom the US government considers enemies, is seen as the same crime as participating in an attack against them. That humanitarian efforts are a crime if they are not approved.

[ Kid's yellow, double-ringed eyes are glowing like coals. For all his outward calmness, this young godling is pissed. ]

My sentence will be temporary, but that doesn't change what I intend to do going forward. The Soviets may have provoked the initial reaction, but the US willingly chose to target primarily civilians. In good conscience, I can no longer support or tolerate their actions.

---

[ OOC: Open log is HERE! ]