THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2018

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: OCTOBER 20TH, 2018 ImPorts are attracting a lot of media attention this month, with Ambassador Logan's Swear-In going over so well, and My Nonah Nightmare raking in thousands of views!

OH THE IRON-Y
As seen in newspapers, social media, and news sites:
Poe Dameron was the surprise winner of the extreme ironing world championships this year, when he ironed a shirt while flying a bicycle in the middle of the caldera of a volcano. There was a four hour argument among judges for whether or not he should be given points for the flying portion of his performance, as it was an unfair imPort advantage, but in the end the use of the volcano still secured him top spot. Dameron himself said about the win: "Next time I'm going to do it in space."

COMING AT YOU LIKE A DARK HORSE
As seen in print interview for ImPort Life magazine:

With My Nonah Nightmare in full swing, it's raking in the ratings as one of the highest watched programs of its time slot. Following the antics of a group of individuals living their lives for two weeks inside a supposedly haunted house, we've quickly come to learn that they'll put up their dukes over a king size bed!

We had the pleasure of having Odin Dark and Peter Maximoff for a short interview, both being reality TV veterans. While the Deputy Ambassador of Maurtia Falls Mr. Maximoff will be making no (known,) appearances during the show - we've got the scoop that his beau, Odin "The Glitterstallion" Dark will be flapping his cape and suiting up for a cameo as a spooky guest. Fans hope to see Miss Rootbeer Maximoff-Dark accompany him.

Our interview was cut short when Mr. Maximoff fell into hysterics upon watching fellow ImPort Riptide vandalize a statue on the show. Quote: "I - Oh my - He - What? I can't!" And like an infectious disease, this laughter spread quickly to Mr. Dark and the interview did not recover.

My Nonah Nightmare airs live online and daily "best-of" at 8PM, from October 17th to 31st.

PHOBOS AND LOATHING IN SPACE TRAVEL
As seen in worldwide news across numerous publications and mediums:

PRESS RELEASE FROM AEGIS FORCE: Project Alke, the joint imPort-NASA mission to Mars, has released the findings of its exploration after returning to Earth last month. Thanks to many imPorts and natives joining together in a common cause, this successful mission has exposed and defeated a major threat to the world. Despite the misinformation and fear that was spread about Alke's nature, truth and courage won out in a decisive battle in space.

Alke launched from the International Moon Base and flew to Mars over several days. ImPort crew suffered nanite sickness, but combated it using government-provided injections. The ship reached the orbit of Mars and encountered a secret armed base built deep into the surface of Mars' moon Phobos, whose existence had previously been suspected but doubted. Scanning and reconnaissance proved that the base was both very real and harbouring nuclear weapons. Radio contact and attempts at negotiation failed to provide a peaceful solution: Phobos personnel described imPorts as a 'plague and a disease' and confirmed that they were responsible for an attempt to destroy the Porter by attacking Heropa. After Alke transmitted this evidence to Earth, the government approved the boarding of Phobos Base to neutralize the threat.

The base was heavily defended by numerous combat robots, as well as eight agents of the Otherworld Technologies Organization (OTO). Alke crewmembers breached the defenses and uncovered evidence of shocking unethical experiments being conducted on humans and animals within the base, for the apparent purpose of creating artificial metahuman abilities. One surviving OTO test subject was found in extreme pain and distress, and has since been returned to Earth for medical treatment.

After recognizing they could not win the fight, the OTO activated a self-destruct aboard Phobos Base. Regrettably, imPorts could not cancel this process. The base was evacuated before its nuclear reactor and warheads detonated. This explosion partially destroyed the moon of Phobos, and has caused enormous damage to the surface of Mars below through falling debris.

The Alke returned to Earth safely, although the stresses of the high-speed journey inflicted serious and permanent engine damage. The ship is currently grounded at Cape Canaveral for the foreseeable future. No casualties were suffered by imPorts or NASA beyond two cases of imPorts who suffered radiation exposure within Phobos Base and have since recovered with the aid of government nanites. Surviving OTO personnel have been transferred to government custody to be criminally prosecuted for their involvement in nuclear terrorism, illegal experiments, and demolishing a moon. All evidence and data gathered by Alke has also been shared with the authorities.

Questioning these prisoners and decrypting computer files has already revealed important information. Phobos was run by an extreme cell of the OTO, and its crew was communicating with the apocalyptic supernatural entity known as Atropos who also seeks to destroy imPorts and likely the Earth itself. Other elements of the OTO are believed to currently be engaged in political influence operations within US allies abroad.

This voyage to Mars should be recognized as a historic event, and the courage of those who made Alke fly will be remembered as their work is carried on through ongoing partnership between imPorts and natives. Aegis is proud to have been part of this mission and remains devoted to Earth's protection. Investigations will continue against the criminal organization calling itself the OTO. Anyone seeking to contact Aegis Force with information or questions about these events is encouraged to reach out to the team's hotline.

GOTTA KEEP 'EM SEPARATED
As seen in Local news media (newspapers, television, etc):

MASSACRE IN MAURTIA FALLS. Twelve members of the Tatars were found dead of multiple gunshot wounds early Saturday morning in Maurtia Fall's old industrial district. The Tatars are a small Russian-American gang started in 2003, and have had regular conflicts with other gangs over territory and drug related disputes. No suspects have been named yet, though most suspect this massacre to be an attack made by a rival gang.

METAL KNIGHTMARES
As seen in Local news media, imPort fansites, bwitter and other social media:

There's been reports of a strange woman wandering the highway outside of Maurtia Falls late Friday night. She's of medium height and covered head to toe in chrome plated armor, and seemed agitated when approached by locals before disappearing with superhuman speed. Is this the face of Maurtia Falls' newest imPort hero?

FRIGHT FEST
As seen in local news media, social media: It's time for Chrysalis' Unlimited's first annual Spooktober Fundraiser! The company, previously known for their work in prosthetics and neurological research, hopes to raise funds for natives impacted by imPort violence and to bridge a gap between the native and imPort populations. This charity fundraiser will be held Saturday night, October 27th, and politicians, local celebrities and imPorts are invited. There will be drinks and dinner, a charity auction, and a costume contest!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from PARTY ROCK CANDY BLUE to VAST AND INFINITE VELVET.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

006 • video

[cigarbribery]

You know, [says Foggy, dryly, in the midst of some generically nice restaurant by himself, strangely dressed very nicely with his hair trimmed and combed and his tie fixed,] there's a lot of risks to Internet dating. Creepy strangers. Getting catfished. Unsolicited dick pics. Having a terrible date.

[He turns the camera around, then, to reveal: an empty chair. He turns it back to himself, and lets out a slightly dramatic sigh of resignation.]

Being stood up by your Internet date. [A beat.] Although, I think that falls under the umbrella of "terrible dates" already?

[A quiet chuckle. For someone who's been ghosted by his date, he doesn't seem too torn up about it. Hurt, certainly, Foggy's usual sunny disposition is a little dimmer than it should be, but when he shoots the camera a smile, it's genuine enough.]

So I'm holding a "worst date ever" contest. Rules are: tell me the worst date you've ever had. If it's worse than mine's going and whoever else answers, you get [and he turns the camera around back to the empty seat] this seat that was supposed to go to my date! And dinner, and possibly drinks, on me.

Aaaaand—go.