01 ▷ video

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Hello, network. The feed opens up to shelves and shelves of stuff -- stereos, power tools, appliances, speakers, the works. You name it, you see it. There's even a display rack of guitars hanging on one wall along with amplifiers. And, whoa, hey, was that a horse from a carousel? What the heck?

Today you'll be treated to the dulcet tones of Rupert Holmes' voice as he sings "Escape," though the music is indistinct and soft, almost as if it were playing over headphones. ]

Okay, look-- [ The camera flips around to a dude looking pretty aggravated, and-- oh, hey, those headphones we mentioned earlier are hanging around his neck. ] --I've only been working here for, like, a day or two? But I think it's time for some serious changes. So we're implementing a new rule at the pawn shop, alright? If you're gonna mess around with the guitars, the following songs are now banned.

[ He ticks them off on his fingers as he names them: ]

"Smoke on the Water." "Sweet Child of Mine." "Back in Black." "Purple Haze." "Crazy Train."

And "Stairway to" friggin' "Heaven."

We all get it, rock star. You kinda know your way around a guitar, and you kinda know, like, the first couple bars of the cool parts, but you're seriously not impressin' anyone with your half-remembered riffs.

So to anyone who wants to come in and plans on playing even one note of those songs -- and trust me, I'll know, -- be advised: I have guns. I will use them with extreme prejudice.

[ He pauses for a beat, scrunching up his lips, then he shrugs. ]

Pretty sure that's it. Have a good one.

[ -- and the video ends. ]

Comments

video;

[nostalgiabomb]

[ The feed turns back on, and Peter points the camera at the instruments. ]

That stuff, you mean? Mostly a bunch of electric guitars. Speakers and amps and stuff. There's a drum set hidden around here somewhere, too, I think.

video;

[flightsuit]

Wait, those are instruments? [It's taking a closer look that he notices that they might be, having seen some partially similar back home but nothing quite as advanced as the current display.]

So you can play those things?

video;

[nostalgiabomb]

Uh, yeah. [ for reals, man, it's like you're from the dark ages or something???

Peter moves to one of the electric guitars on a lonely little display rack and plucks the strings -- E, A, G, D, B, E. ]

You've gotta plug this one into an amp to actually make it, you know, louder, but you get the idea.

video;

[flightsuit]

[He watches the guitar get played, raising an eyebrow when the sound isn't all too impressive at all.]

Sorry. Viking. So I don't actually get the idea. All the, uh, electric stuff, I don't really get yet.

audio;

[nostalgiabomb]

... Viking. [ really, man? Whatevs. He'll roll with it. ]

So the electric guitars need amplifiers to increase the sound. You plug the guitar in to an amp and it just. Makes it louder. Somehow plucking the string gets converted into a signal that makes it play through the amp's speaker? I dunno, man. You can fiddle with the amp to make it louder or quieter, and you can affect the tone and stuff, too. But you'd have to talk to an actual musician about that stuff.

audio;

[flightsuit]

[That's a really overwhelming explanation, but he listens to it carefully, trying to pick up all the details as they're explained.]

So it's possibly to make music louder with speakers? Playing an instrument to send signals to transfer the sound. That sounds amazing. [He's mainly exploring ideas in his head about how it all works, fascinated with the system.]

What about all those songs you mentioned? What's wrong with them?

[nostalgiabomb]

The songs? Nothing, actually. They're probably some of the best songs you'll ever hear. But, hearing them over and over, with dudes who barely know how to play them? That seriously puts a damper on things.

[flightsuit]

Right. Okay, that I can get. I know a guy who has a really bad habit of interrupting every song with an off-key solo. Kind of ruins the mood every time.