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[nostalgiabomb]

[ Hello, network. The feed opens up to shelves and shelves of stuff -- stereos, power tools, appliances, speakers, the works. You name it, you see it. There's even a display rack of guitars hanging on one wall along with amplifiers. And, whoa, hey, was that a horse from a carousel? What the heck?

Today you'll be treated to the dulcet tones of Rupert Holmes' voice as he sings "Escape," though the music is indistinct and soft, almost as if it were playing over headphones. ]

Okay, look-- [ The camera flips around to a dude looking pretty aggravated, and-- oh, hey, those headphones we mentioned earlier are hanging around his neck. ] --I've only been working here for, like, a day or two? But I think it's time for some serious changes. So we're implementing a new rule at the pawn shop, alright? If you're gonna mess around with the guitars, the following songs are now banned.

[ He ticks them off on his fingers as he names them: ]

"Smoke on the Water." "Sweet Child of Mine." "Back in Black." "Purple Haze." "Crazy Train."

And "Stairway to" friggin' "Heaven."

We all get it, rock star. You kinda know your way around a guitar, and you kinda know, like, the first couple bars of the cool parts, but you're seriously not impressin' anyone with your half-remembered riffs.

So to anyone who wants to come in and plans on playing even one note of those songs -- and trust me, I'll know, -- be advised: I have guns. I will use them with extreme prejudice.

[ He pauses for a beat, scrunching up his lips, then he shrugs. ]

Pretty sure that's it. Have a good one.

[ -- and the video ends. ]

Comments

[nostalgiabomb]

"Enter Sandman"? I mean, I'll take your word for it, but I'm not sure if I've heard it before.

[infomodder]

[Oh no. If he hasn't heard it, perhaps it's already been played and this guy just didn't realize it? Maybe? What a terrible fate.]

Song by Metallica. An older one, but it still gets plenty of play. [~Overplayed~] And the opening guitar riff is very recognizable.

[nostalgiabomb]

Guess I'll have to find a copy of it, if only so I can learn to recognize it. But if it's as bad as you say, I'll slap it on the list anyway.

[infomodder]

Hold on—I've got it somewhere.

[On the list that he totally does not come on when customers could stop by, of course. There's a pause while he sorts through the lists he's got, shuffles into what he plays when no one else is around, and finally lets out what sounds like got cha before Peter there is no more need for Peter to look on his own, it just starts. Will doesn't add anything, just lets it run while checking out a few other, specific conversations. Don't mind him, he does it all the time.]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ "Enter Sandman." Metallica. 1991. Well, that explains why he doesn't know it immediately, then -- it was released a few years after his last time on Earth. ]

Huh. It's a cool song. I can see why people would play the hell out of it.

[infomodder]

[Oh God, has he finally found someone who appreciates older music and isn't an asshole about it? Maybe????? Maybe???? Be still his heart (but not too still).]

It is, isn't it? [Because he's not the sort of person who says "cool" much. Just sounds weird coming from him, Peter can keep it.] Rock stations still play the hell out of it—they did, back where I'm from. I don't listen to the radio too much here.

[nostalgiabomb]

[ a field of flowers. fuzzy effects. running at one another from opposite ends!!! ]

It's a lot better than the crap they like out at the ass end of the galaxy. A lot of bass and weird noises. The rhythms are nice, I guess, but there's no music.

[infomodder]

[With eyes filled with so many sparkles they might as well be from the Japanese animes.

Wait for it, Peter. Wait...]

We have that issue on Earth, too. [Wait.] Been calling it dubstep.

[shut up loki]

[nostalgiabomb]

... Jesus. You're the second person to mention dubstep.

What the hell even is that?

[infomodder]

A lot of bass and weird noises. [Youths!!!!] There's rhythm, sometimes. Could burst speakers with it. Not that it takes much to do that.

[No bias here.]

[nostalgiabomb]

... Huh.

So, what, is that the popular thing now? Is there any good music floating around still?

[infomodder]

[That is such a good question.]

It's popular enough. The...music scene has changed a lot. [He's thinking boy bands and crap, why did any of that ever happen.] Depends on what you find good; there's something floating out there for everyone, that hasn't changed. Some of the older bands are still releasing albums, too.

[Ozzy might be almost impossible to understand when he speaks, but he still sings all right. How does that happen, it is a mystery.]

[nostalgiabomb]

You seem like you've got good taste. Any chance you could help a guy out? Highlights of the past thirty years or so?

[infomodder]

[Good taste.................

.....

He's going to get so drunk tonight. Give him a second to taste his words before they come out.]

I could put a list together, no problem. [That's pretty much what he did with his shop. Timeline fits, too, he's been around the last thirty years! He could do this, this is actually a welcome challenge. It could be fun, even. Fun is good, right? Fun is great!] Would you prefer bands or just songs?

[Peter is going to get a huge list dropped on him in, probably, two weeks. A list that's arranged alphabetically.

With lazy footnotes and additions all over the place that smack of a teacher who is used to a specific set up but can't be bothered to follow it exactly.

He's a helper!]

[nostalgiabomb]

Mm. Probably the highlights. Top hits, that kinda thing? If I like it I could probably go down the rabbit hole for bands myself.

[ He will regret asking for this.... ]

The name's Peter Quill, by the way. People call me Star-Lord. [ That's a lie. No one does. ]

[infomodder]

[Uhm. Uh. Freddie lives with Doctor Dinosaur. And his bff back home was named Hannibal, come on. So. If that's what this guy is called (or wants to be called)...it's not the strangest name here and it's not at all something Will can't respect. Even if it might be a little weird to have lord in the mix, there's...he's assuming he's, like, the lord of stars as opposed to...the lord of all you pathetic human beings who reigns from a star. Being polite pays off either way, doesn't it?]

I can do that. [Top hits for thirty years, oh God, this list is going to be huge. And it'll be so much fun to put together.] I'm Will Graham. People call me Will. Nice to meet you, Star-Lord.

[No Bill, no William, no Willy, no Billy, no Bilbo Baggins no, none of the stupid nicknames that come with it. Look, see, he can relate to wanting to be called by one name and other people not doing it. It's so frustrating. Will is as civil and polite as it would be if he replaced Star-Lord with Peter, void of mockery or incredulity. So, hey—Peter's got one person willing to use his preferred named, go team Quill?]