001 | video

[ferrisbuellean]

[The video feed pans on to a well dressed, perfectly presented guy offering a winning smile as he sits in the booth of some fancy bar, all wood and leather, while nursing a glass of whiskey. Someone else is holding the camera and there's enough shaky cam and unfocused zooming to make the Bourne franchise jealous.]

Hey there. Do you like watching a ridiculously good looking man do law stuff? Want to watch him play some nondescript puzzle game on his phone for an entire hour? If yes, then have I got a surprise for you. If no, watch it anyway because apparently I need the ratings.

Jeff Winger here, Lawyer at Large and city hero bringing you a brand new series about me. [Another oh-so charming smile and a dramatic point to the camera.] And law!

Danger! Intrigue! Thrills! These are some things you'll probably never see in my show, but watch it anyway because hey, you might just strike it lucky. And ladies, you might just strike it lucky with me.

[Smirk smirk smirk, pause and then a glance off camera to someone, smugness replaced with a curious furrow of brows.] You guys do know I was disbarred ri-- [And the feed ends.]

Comments

[boobwindow]

Surprisingly, yes. It also helps to know people who can sew.

Anyway, did I hear correctly or did you say you were disbarred?

[ferrisbuellean]

Was disbarred. Once upon a time. I just figured my new 'employers' might need to know that fact. But I guess they know all that about us already.

[boobwindow]

Should we be concerned about a previously disbarred lawyer on a TV show?

[ She's teasing... a bit! ]

[ferrisbuellean]

You should be more concerned that I didn't bring my credentials with me to this alternate dimension thing. If only I knew I was coming.

[He might also be teasing. A bit. But also, seriously, he has no credentials here at all.]

[boobwindow]

It would have been nice to have those with us, but it seems like the government sometimes is willing to give us the benefit of the doubt.

Some are just unlucky, though.

[ferrisbuellean]

Well, at least there's that. I guess they have to be okay with it if they're allowing some of the jobs our lot get given. [Not that he wouldn't just try and cheat his way through the Bar again if he really had to.]

How lucky did you get with work?

[boobwindow]

Something tells me a TV personality isn't hard for you to pull off.

[ He sounds cocky. ]

I got demoted actually, but I admit it wasn't a bad start. Now I'm doing what I want to.

[ferrisbuellean]

I appreciate it. [He is cocky, and any compliment, back handed or not, is enough to keep his ego inflated.]

So what exactly was it you got demoted from and to?

[boobwindow]

I went from CEO of my own company to a software programmer. That's where I started years ago.

[ferrisbuellean]

Do you enjoy it? That's probably the important thing.

[boobwindow]

I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't.

[ She might whine a lot about paperwork and other menial tasks, but don't be fooled. ]

Think you'll enjoy the TV gig?

[ferrisbuellean]

[Smart answer.]

Not sure. Early days. On the one hand it caters to my ego and makes me feel popular and wanted, on the other hand I want to punch literally every camera guy in the face.

[There, have some vague honesty.]

[boobwindow]

What have camera guys ever done to you? Bad angles?

[ That is a polarizing answer. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Dohohoho.]

For shooting people in public. [Cringing at his own pun.]

But no. Lack of privacy mostly.

[boobwindow]

Is this some kind of twenty-four hour filming production? That does sound annoying.

[ferrisbuellean]

Not twenty four hour, but it kinda feels like it sometimes. You can have them for a day if you want and I'll do science stuff. For science!

[boobwindow]

Noo thanks. I've had enough cameras in my face at some of the Swear-Ins.

[ferrisbuellean]

Yeah? Does that kinda thing happen a lot at an event like that?

[boobwindow]

The media presence at the ceremonies can be a pain in the ass, especially if they're after a juicy story.

And there was one ceremony where a horde of doctors were invited and tried to shame people into getting plastic surgery to promote their practices. They also were incredibly inappropriate with a lot of the women.

[ferrisbuellean]

Huh. Well, lets just hope those guys don't show up again, otherwise they'll be the ones needing plastic surgery.

[boobwindow]

I don't think you'd want your crew filming that.

[ferrisbuellean]

Or maybe I would. It's add some extra drama. Probably much needed.

[boobwindow]

Getting kidnapped by a sentient machine gone wild isn't dramatic enough?

[ferrisbuellean]

Apparently that's not enough for them. They prefer the whole at each others throats kinda deal. Which is a damn shame for them because I'm not a confrontational kinda guy. If they wanted hicks getting into something that can barely be classed as a fight, they shoulda picked a bailiff or bounty hunter show.

[boobwindow]

A non-confrontational lawyer? Admittedly haven't met many, but that might be a first.