008 ♍ video ♍ sunday morning 3 a.m.

[glowsferatu]

[ the camera clicks on to kanaya sitting behind the bar in the devil's nest, the only light in the room emanating from her skin, illuminating the bar and casting long shadows around her. hard to say whether she's having a late night or a very early morning, as she tends to do both.

there's something a bit off about her manner, a little lazy and limp, slouching a bit much for her generally prim posture. it's probably related to the glass of too red wine in front of her, the half-empty bottle of cabernet sauvignon next to the metal flask she seems to carry everywhere. her tone is quiet and pensive, putting a lot of effort into keeping her words coherent. it's an important topic she's discussing today. ]

So I think we can all recognize at this point that Earth is very fond of its holidays, but of the lot I think it's Mother's Day I find the most...challenging. On my worst days, I'd regard it with hostility, as if the very idea that motherhood is something to be celebrated is in itself obscene. But, that. That isn't right. My problem has always been that I've grown too bitter, it clouds the perspective. And even I have had the good fortune to know many lovely mothers, even if I wasn't able to become one myself.

[ her eyes have been lingering on her drink this whole time, swishing it around in a circle, but now she finally looks at the camera. ]

What I mean to say is that...it isn't unlikely, or even uncommon, for others to have more pleasant associations with motherhood. Happier stories to share, enough to fill an entire day. So, I'd like to hear them, if you're willing. However big or small it may be, I'd just like something to paint the occasion in a more positive light.

[ operation archangel participants: feel free to action at her, if you're staying at the nest! ]

Comments

Video

[bindsthedead]

Well, my mother died when I was born... but I've spoken to her once or twice since then- Father showed me how.

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[glowsferatu]

Postmortem introduction do have a tendency to be interesting. What is she like?

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[restitute]

My mother was the kind who would do anything to protect her children. [A beat] Even lie to them.

[Oliver Queen this is supposed to be a happy story time. Why are you even bringing your Moira Queen issues to this party.]

But-- she shot our city's vigilante once. To keep him from taking her away from us.

video

[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya's hardly one to to turn away the less happy stories. even if it would be nice to think they're out there, she's bitter enough to think the rest are more real. even if she's starting to recognize that's wrong. ]

Well, I suppose that would depend on the sort of lies she's telling. We like to tell ourselves that anything short of the truth is always unacceptable, but sometimes that too is a lie. Some lies really do hurt less.

[ kanaya thinks his mom sounds a little badass, from this small blurb. this is probably a mistake. ]

[permavoice]

[heartstings]

Sometimes it's a little difficult to remember the good times with my mother... I remember she used to read me stories while we laid in bed together. I remember how she'd do my hair. I remember cooking with her, her teaching me how to make borscht.

permavid

[glowsferatu]

Just from when you were young? What happened to change that?

private | video

[boobwindow]

[ Peej's response comes around 11AM. It's the weekend, so she sleeps in just because she can. However, when she checks back the timing for this she's surprised. ]

I hope you've gotten some sleep and plenty of water, Kanaya.

Aren't you kind of young to be a mother or... [ She shakes her head. ] I'm guessing motherhood comes early where you're from.

private | video

[glowsferatu]

[ when kanaya answers, she looks like she has maybe had a bit of water, probably with more wine following it, but certainly not any sleep. ]

The timing isn't strictly Alternian in general, but the necessity was demanded by our situation. My age was immaterial, the need came when it did and not a moment later. I knew it was coming from much younger.

It was that or extinction.

video;

[earnedmystripes]

[Probably his first thought is to the effect of her being so young. It's weird to think of her as even old enough to think about having kids, let alone it being too late, as she seems to be implying. It must be a troll thing, he figures, but he has the tact not to say anything on it right now.]

My mom's pretty cool. She was kinda the stern type, y'know? Like, made sure me'n my brother did our chores and our homework and ate our veggies and stuff like that, and we definitely didn't get away with being shitheads around her.

video;

[glowsferatu]

[ a lot of things about her can easily be explained as weird troll business, this one especially. but it certainly says a lot for why she doesn't care to be seen as a child. ]

She sounds lovely. The sort I would've liked, were I given the opportunity to meet her.

private video;

[bassriff]

[kanaya you're a freakin mess]

My mom was... nice. Human. I look more like her than my dad, if you don't count... y'know. [She sort of thumbs over one of her ears and shows her teeth.] She used to read to me, fix me up when I'd skin my knees...

[oh god now she's thinking about her mom. fuck. Marceline grimaces a little bit, trying to play this as disaffected as she can manage. not a lot of detail.]

Just, like, the stuff that moms are supposed to do. I was really young, so... [she trails off, like Kanaya can draw her own conclusions there. who knows if she's being totally honest here?? not even zero knows.]

private video;

[glowsferatu]

[ no big deal whatsoever, kanaya totally buys that, as if she hasn't known or been way too many hipsters in her time. there's never anything honest in acting disaffected.

it's a soft look kanaya returns her with, furrowed brows and a sympathetic smile. it's hard losing a good mom. ]

How long has it been?

voice | private

[infomodder]

[Private because there are psychiatrists around and no thanks. How does someone look so awful while still looking so radiant? Kanaya, you are a mysterious mothperson.]

Would you count grandmothers in this, too?

[He will work with what he has if she'll let him, he's willing.]

voice | private

[glowsferatu]

[ she wouldn't begrudge anyone speaking privately, just because she's put herself out there doesn't obligate them to do the same. it's always a little risky to speak openly over the network. ]

Of course. Whoever might have filled that role in your life.

[ god, grandmothers. human familial relations just go deeper the more you look at them. ]

video

[khajidont]

[Kanaya doesn't know this, but normally, when he sees these questions posed to the network at large, he clicks away. He's nice, and he's friendly, but that doesn't mean he's interested in sitting a circle and singing Kumbayah while they all share their deepest fears, desires, or whatever. He's a private guy.

But for all his aggravation with her, he feels a certain tenderness towards Kanaya, misplaced as it may be. So he answers.]

Well, if you want to hear stories... Mother's Day at my place is pretty normal. My Dad used to handle the cooking for breakfast in bed while I drew dumb cards, and now I'm the one cooking while my little sister draws. She's a lot better at it than I ever was, [he admits with a tiny smile.]

If it's stories about good moms you wanted to hear, she's one of them.

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[glowsferatu]

[ if someone broke out a guitar, she would probably smash it on the ground. this is not feel-good hour, she's fighting very hard to keep from making it a bitter bitching session. but it's a somber and very personal question, all the same. anyone who does answer should be treated with respect for it.

even if she doesn't really know them, or at least doesn't realize how she knows them. ]

I suppose it would have to be more a group effort under the human family model. That's still fascinating to consider, even if I don't entirely get it. I've tried, I can't deny there's something tempting to the idea of just...having someone, who's as much there for you as you are them, no matter what happens.

[ it's a bit of a romanticized perspective, and she knows it. it couldn't possibly be so rosy to anyone who isn't on the outside. but she's already lost the closest thing she had to a brother to the porter, at a time when she needed him most, only to have him replaced with a younger him she couldn't depend on the same way. and now even he's gone.

it must be hard for jaime, she realizes, being away from them. ]

I would like to hear more, if you don't mind.

video

[booyahh]

[ Traci for her part actually looks a bit sad both at the date and at the very obviously depressed girl that seems to be drinking alone. That is some super intense depression there. ]

My mom was great. She started teaching me spells when I was really young so that I'd never forget where I came from. She was funny, free spirited, beautiful, and magical. [ She smiles at that because get it? She taught spells and she was magical! It's funny? Maybe? ] My dad really hates magic so he was totally against her teaching me but she put him in his place there and did it anyway. One thing my mom was really strong on was the whole never being ashamed of who you are thing. Although I think there might've also been the secondary benefit of annoying dad which was always funny. He gets this little twitchy vein on his forehead when he's really annoyed or angry.

[ Her smile takes on a more subdued and sad quality as she talks more about them both. She misses them. ]

Are you sure that hearing these stories won't make you even more unhappy?

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[glowsferatu]

[ kanaya hates being depressed, and she hates even more being so obvious about it. but there are some days that there's just no fighting it. she's exhausted from all the effort hiding has taken, and how it's never really gotten her anywhere but further and further down.

she shakes her head, giving traci a weak smile. ]

As a reminder of what I don't have, of what I've lost? That's something I'd have regardless of any story one might share. Sometimes, in a dark spot, it's encouraging to know that there's some glimmer of light beyond, that there are brighter things in the world. It's an important perspective to remember. I don't mind as much, being unhappy, if I can at least be assured that there are others who aren't.

[ it's always been a silly idea she's had, if she could be the only unhappy person in the world, it would be worth it. but it simply isn't possible or attainable, she can't make everyone happy, and sometimes not even any of them. now, if she's lucky, maybe she can at least not even figure into the equation, they can just find some happiness on their own. ]

Did they still get on alright, your mom and dad? Even though he seemed so against something she must have felt was an intrinsic part of herself.

[ text ]

[enucleation]

My mother raised me by herself until she died due to overwork when I was 10 years old. She was kind, gentle, intelligent.

She believed that a kind person finds happiness just by love, and by becoming the person who gets hurt, instead of someone that hurts others. She wouldn't refuse any request of help and was equal to everybody in her kindness.

[ text ]

[glowsferatu]

[ there's something disturbingly familiar about all of that. it's like being told her own future, if only she had the guts to be a gentler, kinder person. ]

its a shame to think someone who gave so much would burn up so quickly
one may hope that she would be given in return on some level to even things out
but it never quite goes that way
and instead of thinking to take better care of herself she would only stop expecting it

[ project more, kanaya. ]

[justimom]

[ Bitterness towards motherhood is certainly something Samara can relate to on some level. It is not something she would say precisely, at least not as an opening sentiment, but she can relate strongly to it. When she responds her voice is even and unemotional, not very strange for her really. ]

Perhaps I could tell you one of my fondest memories of my children. [ She pauses for just a second before going into the memory. ] When all three of them were very young they decided they would make me a travel mug for my birthday. It had happy birthday mom with a picture of the three of them on it. You must understand that each of them was very different from the other so the unanimous decision in itself was quite the achievement. That they made it together is an even larger one. [ She smiles slightly. ] They presented it to me together with proud and excited faced. Each of them waited expectantly for me to say something, but it Morinth who broke the silence and asked if I loved it. When I confirmed I did all three grinned and rushed me together. [ There is quite a lot of sadness in her voice there despite the happy memory. ]

I took the mug with me everywhere I went. The handle had to be repaired quite a few times, but it was a reminder of a very good day. It seems to be much easier to lose yourself to the bitterness than to remember the joy.

[glowsferatu]

[ she expected she'd mostly get stories of people talking about their mothers, rather than anyone mentioning their experience as a mother. that may just make this the most important one of them all to her. she's been a daughter, she didn't miss out on the joy from that.

it's becoming a mother that she failed at. that's what leaves her feeling so bitter today. ]

That's the worst part of bitterness, isn't it? It's the easy way out, just letting the circumstances determine your mood. But it just feels impossible, when the opportunity was taken before you were able to experience that joy. There's nothing in your armament to counter the bitterness, stubbornness aside.

[ she lets the thought hang there a moment before continuing. ]

Do you still have it? The mug, I mean.

[acclimatized]

I always forget that you lot celebrate today later than the UK does.

[ john's response comes around 7am. a normal waking up time. things have been a bit awkward between them since the hornet hijacking incident, but what better way to patch things up by talking about their mothers? ]

My mum was a good woman. Quiet, but that was probably because Harry was always kicking up a fuss in our house. She was... yeah, she was very good. [ rubbing his stiff neck, he clears his throat and looks away from the camera. he's never been particularly good with this sort of thing. ] You're still young anyway. Unexpected things can happen.

[ he didn't think he was going to have any children before sherlock dropped a bombshell at their wedding reception. ]

[glowsferatu]

"You lot?" Am I now considered American simply because this is the only Earth nation I've only resided in for any extended period?

[ she just thinks it's funny when her accent is closer to his than anyone local. ]

I'm sure you must have more to say about her. This is your mother, John, and I'm sure she deserves better than simply "good" and "quiet".

[ not even addressing unexpected things, unexpected things happening is what caused the problem to begin with. if things went to plan, she would be a mother already. now it's just a biological impossibility. ]

Video

[redplainsrider]

[She doesn't know how to even begin about her mother(s), so instead asks:]

What about yer ma? What was she like?

[It'll be interesting to learn yet another species' parental system]

Video

[glowsferatu]

[ she could tell a lot of stories about her mom, thirteen years and more. at least it's enough she won't need to repeat. ]

My mother? Well, to start, she was thirty-feet high.

[ and people think kanaya's tall. that must be where she gets it from. ]

video;

[fistofthejoestar]

[the woman in the video is similar to a description he'd been given and...yes, a quick check of id tags confirms that this is Kanaya. guess Ramir was wrong about what their first conversation topic would be, for better or worse.

he doesn't comment on her obvious inebriation, both out of courtesy and the fact that it reminds him a little too much of Dio. it was the Dio from a very long time ago, when his excesses had been of this world.]

My mother died when I was an infant in order to protect me in a carriage accident. It's a memory that's more sweet than bitter, I think.

[to know that someone was willing to give him that sort of overwhelming love when he hadn't done a thing to earn it...it's humbling. as much as he's wished for her presence in the past, Jonathan can't speak of his mother with any intense sorrow.]

video;

[glowsferatu]

[ if dio's never mixed blood and wine before, it would have to be due to just not wasting time with wine. otherwise, it's something every vampire has had to at least think about, if they have any kind of imagination.

there is a tinge of sorrow in her face as he tells the story, but she's only hearing it for the first time. he's sure to have had plenty of time to come to his own terms with it. ]

For one to die to guarantee her child's survival, it is an action I'd regard with no small amount of admiration. Still, it is unfortunate that it was ever necessary, that you had to grow up without her.

video;

[fridgeflower]

I wouldn't have blamed my mother a bit if she didn't want to keep me, or... Or if she couldn't bring herself to love me. Or anything like that.

She did, though. She loved me, and she was always trying to do right by me.

video;

[glowsferatu]

Decisions like that, they're never so clear cut. Certainly, there's a choice to be made, but they are rarely weighed evenly. I'm sure that, to her, it was little contest.

video;

[malodorous]

My mom's a rock.

video;

[glowsferatu]

Your bizarre homeworld trolls, wasn't it?

action

[siriusly]

[the door is a distant creak near the end of that feed; a bit far to be picked up on the speakers, thankfully. any bustling Manabu is about to do is halted when he hears the talk, confused at first at who's talking to whom. he guides the door closed quietly with the back of his hand, spotting Kanaya and just tuning in near the end.

there's a beat after that recording appears to end before Manabu moves, tilting his head as he starts along his way, a bag stuffed under his arm.]

Hey... [a weak little smile, quickly traded out for a faintly troubled frown.] Happier stories? Did something bad happen today?

action

[glowsferatu]

[ she glances up when she hears him, caught a bit by surprise. but she spreads her glow out, covering more of the room to light his way. remembering herself, she sits up a little, trying to keep her posture straight. the results are mixed. ]

Today? No, it isn't an anniversary exactly, even if it isn't far from one. It's more...thematic. A reminder of something long ago.

[ she shakes her head, giving him a smile. ] What about you? What was your mother like?

[cartesianspidertank]

As an artificial being, mothers are an alien concept to me! The closest analogue to a maternal figure would probably be the Major, but I suspect that she would object to that label! Plus she would be a terrible mother when compared to conventional standards!

That is, unless you dropped the gender requirements! Then it would be Batou! Mr. Batou was a great mother! He fed me natural oil, and he was always nice and listened to what I had to say!

[glowsferatu]

[ there's something so enthusiastic and just candid about the way tachikoma relates it, kanaya can't help but be taken aback. she almost wants to laugh at what she (it? she'll have to wonder about that.) says about kusanagi, even if kanaya doesn't know the woman terribly well, just casually as another participant in archangel. ]

Well, you know. Convention isn't always everything. Motherhood isn't really a role everyone's going to be suited for, I think.

But your Mr. Batou, I suppose it is generally within the mother's purview to see that a child is fed, and to follow their emotional development. What was he like beyond that?

[voice | locked to Kanaya | heavy encryption]

[lisping]

KN...

[there is kind of an awkward pause because he is not good with the feelings thing, that's other people's jobs, but the only other troll here is Eridan and Eridan is basically a walking trainwreck]

Is this about the matriorb? Or something else?

[voice | heavy encryption]

[glowsferatu]

[ well, it was bound to come up eventually. she couldn't just keep hiding it behind spoilers forever, playing coy about it. if he's here for long, he should probably know. it will at least give him some hint at why she must seem so much crazier than back when he comes from.

her voice is steady, not cracking or faltering. if the video were on, he'd see her staring ahead, trying to look as neutral as she can, and not even doing too bad a job of it. there's nothing matter-of-fact about it, no part of the events that don't still feel raw at times, today especially. but she's had so much practice keeping it buried, at not breaking down over it, she could almost be mistaken for detached, even with the gravity carried by her tone. ]

It broke. Just when I was going to hatch it, when I was ready, or as close as I could hope to be, it simply shattered into a million pieces.

[ that's a terrible way to explain it, but implicating eridan...it just seems imprudent. she's trying to keep the both of them in line, the last thing she needs is sollux to go for his throat. she doesn't care to be used as the excuse. ]

text

[heavyhitter]

grandmas count, right? thats like double mom

text

[glowsferatu]

yes by all means tell me about your grandmother
i must admit some curiosity at what sort of woman could have unleashed ana ramir on the world

video; private

[abduxel]

[The man on screen wears a black suit, and sports black-red ram horns that project from his forehead and curl around either ear.

He regards her with open curiosity and a little one-sided smile, but addresses the question rather than her appearance.]

My mother was an honest, hard-working woman who didn't deserve a terrible son like me. Is that positive?

video; private

[glowsferatu]

[ as a member of what she thought was a very exclusive club among imports, his horns surprise kanaya. none of the coloring is right, he certainly isn't from her species. and yet, it seemed a fair guess that he isn't human either.

she can't help but be intrigued. ]

It's an unfortunate fact that even the best mothers won't always raise children to equal them, my own could say the same. But her existence is no less positive for it, no matter the tainted legacy.

I'll count it.

video.

[nitidus]

[she very almost doesn't respond. she's not sure if it's appropriate to, really. but: Kanaya is tipsy and that is a Problem.

she promised Kanaya she'd help her recreate the Matriorb, didn't she?]

You're awake awfully late.

video, private.

[glowsferatu]

[ she looks a little embarrassed, as if she's been caught. as she reaches toward the communicator, to make the conversation private, her other hand just...slowly pushes her wine glass out of the frame. the whole point of stopping two years ago was to avoid enabling rose. for her to see her drinking, that is a Problem.

"i'm just not pretending to sleep" seems like the wrong answer to give here, even if it's honest. rose feels guilty enough about her already, she can't give her another reason to. ]

It didn't seem like a good night for anything else. Thought this was better than fighting a losing battle.

[notasaviour]

...It is Mother's Day, isn't it?

[That's... kind of a kicker, given that he's lost his mom twice. Three times, if you count the one he never actually met.

But happier stories... those he can probably do, for someone who seems to need cheering up.]

My mom... wasn't my birth mom. She chose to be my mom, I guess, because she was meant to keep me safe and that's the way she thought would be easiest. But she was my mom in every way that counts.

[He does smile, although it's only small.]

I was five when she first realised other kids had birthdays. I came home from school with an invite to someone else's party and asked why I'd never had one. I think she must have spent about a month finding out what most people did for birthdays, and then she went... a little overboard. We were eating cake for a week afterwards, and then we had to throw some of it away.

[glowsferatu]

[ ah, teddy. she knew plenty about him, even if they weren't terribly close last time he was in the city. she knows enough to guess why that story's funny, and can't help smiling for it. ]

I'm sure it must have been different for her, having to acclimate to Earth. Was she alone for it, with only the two of you?

[ did he say he as an alien? she might have just tipped her hand a bit, there. ]

[wonk]

"become a mother myself"

look ok condys weirdass schoolfeeding PROBS wasnt the best education on your biology but im like 80% sure u cant actually become a mother grub

private.

[glowsferatu]

i suppose youll know the basics of alternian biology then
its your familiarity with mother grubs thats more in question
you see becoming a mother grub myself was never the plan
but with the death of our planet our survival was dependent on one being in our company
and every mother must first begin as a daughter

video.

[bokator]

My mom came to America alone, had me, and opened her own business and kept it running successfully for fourteen years. She took no shit from anyone.

[ a pause, and then, she adds, ]

My foster mom was... sweet, and she tried really hard, but she had some weird ideas about how girls should behave. It didn't always work.

video.

[glowsferatu]

Mm, there's always a mistake in assuming there's a should. There are ways some girls do behave, but that shouldn't have to be all-inclusive.

Where did she come from, your mom?