[ text ]

[bestversion]

SUPERVILLAIN LITMUS TEST

u r probably a super villain if you -

a] talk a lot about how humans r dumb
b] it sounds poetic in a trashy twilight way
c] lots of italics
d] lots of butthurt

ur welcome.

Comments

text

[bindsthedead]

You forgot 'assume having powers means they can do whatever they like with them.

Re: text

[bestversion]

i think that only works if they're in public.

[askedtobe]

Do I want to know what trashy twilight means?

[bestversion]

how is it no one knows twilight. it's so bad it's famous.

permatext

[hypnotherapy]

a2] talks a lot about how humans are dumb while also being 100% human

Re: permatext

[bestversion]

that's a good one.

text; DO WE ASSUME ROOMIE STUFF???

[witchplease]

what is this saying? i do not understand what is a butthurt?

SURE if it's okay with you

[bestversion]

it's basically people who get hurt and use it as an excuse.

[text]

[luckynumber42]

Wait, so do you have to do ALL of them to count as a supervillain?

Because I'm pretty sure I've seen bad guys who only do one or two of these.

[bestversion]

I think if they cover two, they're bad. If they cover all, they're like super bad.

[hands4healing]

What about hurting people for no real reason?

[bestversion]

would they even admit that in a post or out loud? that's more something they do in alleys or like . . . mad plans to take over the world?

text

[glitterateur]

what if it's poetic in a great twilight way??

Re: text

[bestversion]

I'll believe it when I see it. or hear it. or if it exists.

[hostage]

S E R I O U S L Y

[bestversion]

im helping.

text

[wayhot]

I have no clue what butthurt is but the rest of that sounds super right.

Re: text

[bestversion]

it's like when people are hurt and use it as an excuse to spoil other people's fun.

text.

[glowsferatu]

i find this list discriminatory against vampires who arent human
(not vampires who were at one time human but claim to no longer be because their definition of humanity is too narrow
those ones are humans and as the list necessitates therefore dumb)

Re: text.

[bestversion]

im not following. should we make a list for supervampvillains?

voice;

[slightlyoffchilt]

What frequency of italics qualifies as "lots"?

Re: voice;

[bestversion]

at least once a month. maybe two.

[belegurth]

That sounds about right.

[He looks proud, even if he's not sure what being a super villain is but it sounds cool.

He is ok with this.]

What is twilight though?

[He doesn't even know about the time of day by this term.]

[bestversion]

it's a book series. about a girl and her vampire.

text

[wasnever]

Soooo most elves are supervillains then

I'd believe it

Re: text

[bestversion]

idk that many elves . . . well I do but not like real ones.

[text]; ID reads Kaitou KID

[tuxedo_magician]

It's so refreshing to see that I don't pass the supervillain litmus test.

[bestversion]

u should look into that.

permatext

[deadtective]

Speaking of butthurt...

[because you're sounding that way right now, from where she's standing.]

Re: permatext

[bestversion]

what about it?

text;

[angelfire]

What to do having discovered this information:

1. Be outraged.
2. Write a post about it.
3. Otherwise do nothing.
4. Cry yourself to sleep from your secret hiding place under your bed.

Re: text;

[bestversion]

see point d

text; ID reads Superman

[andaway]

Isn't it weird how you can even hear the italics when they speak? I didn't know that was possible until I met my first villain.

[bestversion]

yeah it's really strange how emphasized some of the words are.

superman?? are you superboy's dad?

id: archer

[nockpoint]

Frankly, that sounds more like an misanthropist. Consider adding in "acting upon sentiments in point a" to be more thorough.

[bestversion]

I'll make a note of it. thanks?

[nitidus]

Oh dear. It occurs to me that I might be a super villain.

[bestversion]

noooooooo

wait how u don't even have a secret identity.

[shutterbugged]

People in Twilight talk like they swallowed a Shakespearean thesaurus?

That sounds way more entertaining than what I imagined.

[bestversion]

well they use less thous and more me me me me me!!

text

[runout]

Dunno what all of that means, but sounds about right on the first one.

Re: text

[bestversion]

it's a really bad habit and really weird when the villain is human too??

text;

[defensebonds]

That's a heck of a list you got there.

[ He understands exactly 1.5 of those items. ]

Re: text;

[bestversion]

it's short but it's easy to understand!

text | id reads "power girl"

[boobwindow]

Oh good, someone already covered the self-hating human bit.

[bestversion]

do u think it should be lower down? i wasn't sure.

text;

[notdaredevil]

This seems like a somewhat unspecific and narrowly-defined test. You've definitely missed a few things.

Re: text;

[bestversion]

I didn't want to make it into a big list.

text

[thephix]

I feel that test is more appropriate for B-grade villains. I could do far better.

[Not that she's a supervillain or anything.]

Re: text

[bestversion]

. . . is that a good thing?