maskormenace

Hullo, everyone. It's Kitty. I've not been around for a little while, but - I'm back now. In Heropa. And, erm - just for anyone who cares - both Mandrake and Bartimaeus have gone home. So I'm the only one left from my world now.

[ Her expression following that announcement is a mixture of disgust (because that sounded dreary and pathetic, didn't it) and sadness. Then, with a little shake of her head (you can practically hear her telling herself to stiffen her upper lip) she continues on: ]

Right. So - all right. I recently made a rumblr - that's an account on the website rumblr-dot-com - and I've actually managed to get quite a few followers. It turns out people are completely mad for having imPorts friended on social media. Anyway, it's actually really great - there are lots of really worthy causes out there, and when I pick them up they get spread around pretty nicely. It keeps this celebrity thing from being overbearingly stupid. I generally ask my followers to bring causes to my attention. This week I'm trying to help raise funds for maintaining latrines in areas where people practice open defecation. A lack of proper sanitation is linked incredibly closely to higher rates of infant mortality and shorter lifespans, but a billion people in the world live without access to it. And it doesn't take all that much money to make a change. So I'm trying to raise funds for that this week. Next week, we're going to be taking a look at raising money to help with mass deworming.

My rumblr is called 'therealkittyjones,' if anyone wants to follow me.

I'm also looking for people to help out with some fundraising for these causes. I've been in touch with a radio station, and I'm thinking we ought to do a celebrity version of two truths and a lie - in honor of all that rubbish at the last swear-in, you know. What happens is you come onto the program and you give me two true statements and one lie. Listeners go online and they wager five dollars on which one's the lie. If they get it right, they get an autographed picture of you, and if they get it wrong then their money just goes to charity. You'll also put up some of your own money, and if I manage to guess on-air which one's the lie you have to donate too. I've gotten asks for some of the imPorts in particular - [ She leans forward and clicks to another window on her communicator, her eyes moving as she reads. ] So, Superman, Mr Stark, Mr Hundred, Mr Wayne, Mr Gamagori, Mr Taylor, Mr Xanatos, Mr Callaghan, consider yourselves called out - you know, reading off all those men, I just realized how sexist my followers are, eurgh. There are a few women on this list too, but not nearly enough. Olivier, Sabriel, Power Girl...Actually, you know, pretty much everybody's interesting to the locals. I think all of you are on here, the list is like five pages long. We've just got far too many men here, haven't we?

[ And she sits back, her eyes focusing as she comes back to the window of her webcam. ]

Anyway, it'll only take about an hour of your time, and it's for a good cause. A series of good causes. Plus you'll get to talk about yourself, and I've never met anyone who wasn't at least a little bit obsessed with themselves. So...let me know if you're interested and I'll set up all the details.

Right. Anyway, thanks for listening.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm not. Still, even the desk clerk gets projects shoved at them from time to time.

You promise you're not making this up just so you won't have to answer my questions?

I promise. All your questions shall be answered in due time.

Okay. I'll trust that.

Thank you.

All talk of childhoods aside, is there anything I can do to help out with the fundraiser? I admit, I have no experience with radio work, but I have helped out with film broadcasting before.

Behind the camera, or in front of it? I'm a bit more inclined to have our imPorts be the public faces, if you're not too modest for that.

I'd prefer behind the camera, but...if needs must, I suppose I can be in front.

It'd make your fans happy...

With all due respect to some members of the Owen Burnett fanbase, I'd rather they pick someone else. I doubt I would live up to their...ah, expectations.

[ Owen Burnett: officially googles himself ]

I don't know. I think you'd make a fine revolutionary, Mr Burnett.

[ And Kitty just gets a grumpy frown at that. Yeah, no. ]

[ With a laugh - ]

Don't look at me like that! That's a compliment!

[ He still looks like he swallowed something disgusting. ]

Compliment it may be, I still doubt I'd be a good revolutionary.

I don't know. Are you brave?

I certainly hope so.

And you're quite dedicated - you've shown that, even if it's just to a person. You'll stand up for what you believe in?

I certainly do, [ said with utmost certainty. ] Still, surely there needs to more than being a revolutionary than being dedicated and brave.

[ A shrug. ]

Sure. A tyrannical system of government.

And therein lies the problem. I'd call the government here inept, not tyrannical.

Well - sure. But that doesn't make you any less capable as a potential revolutionary. It just means conditions aren't right.

With all due respect to your thesis, I hope those conditions are never right.

Well, so do I. I'm sure you'd be quite grand in action, but I'd prefer to avoid a tyranny.

You'll have to content yourself with hypotheticals then.

Oh, hardly! Your other qualities are quite well proven, aren't they.

The braveness and keeping a cool head in a crisis certainly are.

video;

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