maskormenace

Hullo, everyone. It's Kitty. I've not been around for a little while, but - I'm back now. In Heropa. And, erm - just for anyone who cares - both Mandrake and Bartimaeus have gone home. So I'm the only one left from my world now.

[ Her expression following that announcement is a mixture of disgust (because that sounded dreary and pathetic, didn't it) and sadness. Then, with a little shake of her head (you can practically hear her telling herself to stiffen her upper lip) she continues on: ]

Right. So - all right. I recently made a rumblr - that's an account on the website rumblr-dot-com - and I've actually managed to get quite a few followers. It turns out people are completely mad for having imPorts friended on social media. Anyway, it's actually really great - there are lots of really worthy causes out there, and when I pick them up they get spread around pretty nicely. It keeps this celebrity thing from being overbearingly stupid. I generally ask my followers to bring causes to my attention. This week I'm trying to help raise funds for maintaining latrines in areas where people practice open defecation. A lack of proper sanitation is linked incredibly closely to higher rates of infant mortality and shorter lifespans, but a billion people in the world live without access to it. And it doesn't take all that much money to make a change. So I'm trying to raise funds for that this week. Next week, we're going to be taking a look at raising money to help with mass deworming.

My rumblr is called 'therealkittyjones,' if anyone wants to follow me.

I'm also looking for people to help out with some fundraising for these causes. I've been in touch with a radio station, and I'm thinking we ought to do a celebrity version of two truths and a lie - in honor of all that rubbish at the last swear-in, you know. What happens is you come onto the program and you give me two true statements and one lie. Listeners go online and they wager five dollars on which one's the lie. If they get it right, they get an autographed picture of you, and if they get it wrong then their money just goes to charity. You'll also put up some of your own money, and if I manage to guess on-air which one's the lie you have to donate too. I've gotten asks for some of the imPorts in particular - [ She leans forward and clicks to another window on her communicator, her eyes moving as she reads. ] So, Superman, Mr Stark, Mr Hundred, Mr Wayne, Mr Gamagori, Mr Taylor, Mr Xanatos, Mr Callaghan, consider yourselves called out - you know, reading off all those men, I just realized how sexist my followers are, eurgh. There are a few women on this list too, but not nearly enough. Olivier, Sabriel, Power Girl...Actually, you know, pretty much everybody's interesting to the locals. I think all of you are on here, the list is like five pages long. We've just got far too many men here, haven't we?

[ And she sits back, her eyes focusing as she comes back to the window of her webcam. ]

Anyway, it'll only take about an hour of your time, and it's for a good cause. A series of good causes. Plus you'll get to talk about yourself, and I've never met anyone who wasn't at least a little bit obsessed with themselves. So...let me know if you're interested and I'll set up all the details.

Right. Anyway, thanks for listening.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No. I like being made to think. Which you're quite mediocre at, really.

Hey, that isn't my responsibility. It ain't my fault you didn't get a high school education.

[ Oh, you piece of shit. ]

Yeah, except that you're not even capable of stimulating thought in someone with my low education level. So that actually is quite humiliating for you.

[ Just when it seems like maybe he won't take the cheap shot... ]

Yeah, 'cause I'm clearly livin' for making people think. I care so much about changing the world through educating the underprivileged, starving drop-outs. No way does that sound way more embarrassing than being called stupid.

Okay, first, I'm not a bloody drop-out, am I, I literally did not have any opportunities for school. We were expected to go to work by the age of fifteen. And second, being undereducated isn't the same as being stupid. I mean, you've got a decent education, have you?

Oh, then I stand corrected -- not a drop-out, just too poor to even go.

I'm sayin', if I was the kinda person that wanted to make people like you think the way you wanna be thinkin', I don't think I could respect myself. If you think that makes me stupid, I say it's still better than the alternative.

Okay, are you, like, aiming to get punched in the face again? Because you could just ask politely. You don't need to expend all this energy. And by the way, on the list of people who've called me worthless gutter trash, you are probably like the eightieth richest, so don't get too fucking stuck up about your social superiority.

But expending the energy's the fun part.

You're puttin' words in my mouth, anyway -- uneducated gutter trash, maybe, but "worthless" is a bit hasty even for me. I try to give most people the benefit of the doubt that there's something useful about 'em.

Oh, brilliant, cheers. Anyway, I may not have had the advantage of school but I'm still way cleverer than you could ever hope to be.

Now clever's on a whole different level -- I'm plenty clever, but I don't waste it on you. And I don't do nothing to give people the expectation I'm gonna be some smart guy anyway.

Plenty clever? I see none of that. And it rather gets in the way of me having any respect for you.

Yeah, plenty clever. That you don't see it's part of the whole point -- and why should I want your respect anyway? What's so special about it? I doubt you care about mine.

[ she totally does, she wants respect from everyone :( ]

Ohhhh, the whole point. So you like being brushed aside and not cared about. And anyway, you should want my respect because I actually give you the time of day in spite of being way out of your league.

[ Kitty. :( Love yourself. :( ]

Oh yeah, you got me aaaall figured out. [ Reggie raises his eyebrow, combative-mode reengaged. ] Like I'd really want to settle for just the time of day. I could get more than that with my eyes closed.

Yeah? From who?

Come on, I got more class than that.

You have about as much class as an...equal and just society after the poor are raised to the level of the rich. [ that sounded more scathing in her head. ] I doubt very much that you get anything from anyone. You might have been granted something as a favor, but that's different.

Well geez, Kitty, you gotta dumb that insult down a little more for little ol' me to be able to understand it. Just sounds like a bunch of gibberish comin' out of your mouth.

[ He smirks somewhat cheekily, though it falters at her last comment and before he responds to it. ]

Call it whatever you want, something's still getting done.

Yeah? So? Do you really think that's got anything to do with you? You think it's something to be proud of?

What's that supposed to mean? How's it not got anything to do with me?

video

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.

VIDEO.