Capsule 002 💊 (Video)

[rassera]

[Good morning Nonah/Heropa/De Chima/etc. residents. Hope you've been enjoying it, because you'll need something to buffer here. Kaneda's already outside, lounging on his bike with his feet kicked up, hands behind his head and looking at the sky. Kaneda, you couldn't look more bored if you tried.]

So I guess I'm supposed to give you guys traffic updates or something. And you know me--I've got a burning desire to be an upstanding citizen.

[He turns his communicator about 30 degrees to the left, showing a patch of empty road that his bike was parked next to. Insert the cliche tumbleweed for some added aesthetic.]

Whooooooo-oooo! Brutal out there, guys! Stay safe!

[Okay, even he can't hide his smirk anymore.]

Comments

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[neatniks]

[ How are you alive? ]

No, they're for people who don't want their brains smeared across the pavement.

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[rassera]

[Why does everyone ask that???]

You think I'm gonna get smeared across the pavement?

I'm hurt, have a little faith, buddy!

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[neatniks]

I'm not saying it's going to be your fault! But somebody could cut you off! Or improperly change lanes all of a sudden! Or you might become a part of another accident altogether!

A lot could happen!

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[rassera]

[Yep, definitely the mom type.]

Listen to ya, all worried about things like that--you don't go above the speed limit, do you.

[Most sane people don't, Kaneda. Or...at least not more than 10.]

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[neatniks]

[ You bet your butt, young man. ]

Of course not. It exists for a reason. I don't want to be responsible for killing reckless, helmet-less loons.

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[rassera]

[UGGGHHHH don't tell him what to do he'll listen to ACDC if he wants to]

It's...more like a suggestion.

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[neatniks]

[ His decisions are bad and he should feel bad! ]

It's not a suggestion! It's the law!

You're going to be fined at best!

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[rassera]

[Whatever he's going out PAST CURFEW]

The law's only the law if people want to listen to a bunch of suits.

And they gotta catch me first before they can find me.

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[neatniks]

You're posting this with your name on a public network provided by the government.

I think they might be able to find you, dude.

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[rassera]

Find me? Probably, If they care enough.

Catch me? I beg to differ.

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[neatniks]

In a world where flying and teleportation are in the picture, you might want to have a little more care. I'm just saying.

Plus, seriously. You could hurt yourself. Or other people. And nobody wants that, right?

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[rassera]

Tell you what. Find a way to get my head protected without a helmet, and I'll consider.

You're a scientist right? There's got to be some kinda thing we can work out, yeah?

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[neatniks]

[ Oh god we've gotten into Fred territory. ]

That's not how it works.

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[rassera]

[Aren't you so glad that headache's never going away?]

Guess it's just me, my durability, and my luck, then.

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[neatniks]

[ There's a moment in which he looks like he's really trying to just let it go and be cool with everything, but no. He loses it quickly. ]

Okay, look. Everything that I can think of right away is going to have to cover your head in some form anyway, so you might as well wear a helmet! It'd be a lot more affordable and reasonable, unless you want to end up with, like... A fishbowl or something!

Or a cone of shame! Do you want a cone of shame?!

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[rassera]

I'm not wearing a cone of shame.

Look, Wasabi, right?

Stop worrying so much, alright? I mean...I get it, you're a good guy--looking out for a guy like me. Heck, better than most guys I know.

But--

[He hits his fist on his chest, as if he were knocking on wood.]

I'll be okay. I've got extra padding now.

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[neatniks]

... If you say so.

[ Fine, guy. Whatever. He is totally over this. ]