video | after the Hotel Rescue Shenanigans

[rideme]

[It's evening, as evidenced by the general dim light in the room. The living room of Nonah #5 has been the scene of a lot of mayhem, and now doesn't seem to be any different.]

[There's a cut on the Iron Bull's face, and he's holding himself with the care of someone who knows damn well he's hurt something important and doesn't want to make any sudden motions. There may also be glass stuck in one of his horns. More small abrasions decorate his torso. Looks like the aftermath of Motorcycle vs. The Iron Bull didn't end well for anyone.]

[As he records, he's moving gingerly across the house to deposit one (1) unconscious lump of teenager -- namely the Problem Child Tetsuo himself -- into a room. Probably his own room. Only after that's done, does Bull address the camera.]

Hey. Got a message for you, network.

[One might say he forgot it was on, but it's also more likely this was purposeful. Demonstrating the kid is in hand, put somewhere safe and no longer charging through the streets.]

Dear Whoever the Fuck Made Tetsuo's Bike,

You should have made it Bull-Proof.

[It's at this point, he holds up a certain finger on the hand still possessing all of its fingers. Wow, Bull, stay classy. He's about to turn the feed off when someone else pipes in, from somewhere else in the house--]

And would someone come heal my big, dumb boyfriend! Please?

[THANKS CHARLIE. Bull makes a sudden face, and hurries to mash the OFF button.]

Comments

[ursawhiner]

Maybe it's more that I don't trust Tetsuo. But you and Ken and Bull can handle him. Obviously.

[rassera]

[Okay, he's got a point there. Not even Kaneda fully trusted Tetsuo, and they were lifelong friends at this point.]

You could always sneeze a cat at him.

[ursawhiner]

Would he even know what to do with a cat?

[rassera]

He keeps stealing one of Bull's every night.

I mean...it comes back out so he's got to have some idea. Right?

[ursawhiner]

I'm not sneezing him a therapy kitten.

[rassera]

Then sneeze him up the angriest cat you can think of.


[Because Dipper can obviously do that, right?]

[ursawhiner]

I can't really control the cats? Otherwise I would have made Raptor and Bunker better at paintball.

[rassera]

...There's more than just Bull's?

[HOW MANY CATS ARE THERE DIPPER. HOW MANY?!]

[ursawhiner]

Uh, yeah? There used to be a lot, but Owlfonso kept eating them and then we gave a lot away. Right now we have Tupaws, Fiddy Whiskas, Raptor and Bunker at home.

...Mabel used to like surprising me with pepper to the face.

[rassera]

...HAHA!

A classic!

[He'd have done the same thing. Mabel you sly girl.]

[ursawhiner]

There were so many kittens.

[rassera]

And theeeen your owl ate them.

Guess that's kind of a downer, huh?

[ursawhiner]

Poor Macklemeow never stood a chance.

[rassera]

....

Where do you guys come up with these names...

[ursawhiner]

We had a roommate who named them all when he got drunk once. He thought we died in a virus outbreak or something.

[rassera]

...Well, you're looking pretty good for a dead guy, if you ask me.

[ursawhiner]

Since I've met actual zombies, that's really nice of you to say.

[rassera]

You know, you're pretty well traveled for a ten...twelve...year old.

[ursawhiner]

Thirteen! Dude, you were at my birthday party!

[rassera]

[Oh right. There was 'hit-by-a-car' cake and everything.]

Same difference, right?

[ursawhiner]

It's not the same at all! I'm a teenager now!

[rassera]

So that makes all the difference? Funny, Mabel said the opposite, you know.

[ursawhiner]

...Wait, what did she say?

[rassera]

Something about it not being too different from 12, because you guys jumped that rite of passage early.

[ursawhiner]

It doesn't feel different, but I know it's different.