maskormenace | video;

[ The first thing you see....is pumpkins. So many pumpkins. This house is full of pumpkins in various stages of being carved. Those who know Hazel can easily recognize this scene of mass chaos as Residence #11. However, the chalk scribbles on the wall are decidedly not hers. To start with, some of them are in a different language that looks kind of circly.

The personless scene lasts only for a moment before the Doctor scurries into frame, looking a mixture of confused and frowny. He's looking kind of magician, wearing a black coat over a black hoodie. Finally, he's holding an owl by the scruff of it's neck (can you do that with an owl? Who knows, the Doctor's doing so). Said owl is Owlfonso, the skateboarding owl that really doesn't want to be here right now and is desperately trying to peck the Doctor's fingers. ]

I want to clarify first that for once, none of this is my fault. [ except the chalk writing, which is obviously his, but that either a: goes without commenting on or b: the Doctor's forgotten it by now. also wow, that sure is a Scottish accent ] That being said- [ WHAM the camera gets a face full of owl ]

Is this normal? I mean, normal for owls. Is this how I can tell this dimension apart from my dimension? No eyepatches, no goatees, just owls that can suddenly skateboard? [ He backs poor Owlfonso away from the camera, as the Doctor's still got an expression that's pure 'what the hell is this shit' ] Well, skateboarding owls and a postponed perestroika. Spoilers, you're twenty years out of date.

[ pause, frown. The Doctor looks over at poor Owlfonso with a sort of resigned expression. ] The alternate dimension of owls and Communism. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I could be an actual doctor then! [ said with a little laugh ] Doctor Doctor, how's that for confusing?

Are you actually a Doctor though?

Probably!

[ that is a damn terrible answer ]

That would be a no then. See, you have to have actually been a Doctor back home to have any chance of them letting you be one here. And like an actual real Doctor, not just a guy who calls himself Doctor. Or... y'know... Inspector.

What is it with you people thinking I'm someone I'm not? I'm the Doctor, not this Inspector person.

Whatever you say, Spacetime.

Doctor of what? Aliens?

Temporal instabilities.

I don't think they got many of those kinda Doctors around here. What job did they give you, anyway?

I work at a watch store! How cliche is that?

Pretty cliche. You never know though, might end up being way more interesting than travelling through space and time.

No. No, it won't.

[ truth bomb ]

Ok, no it won't. But if you want money, then that's what you gotta do.

[ siiiiiiiiiigh. Jeff's right, though. Coffee don't buy itself. ]

At least, that's what I'll do until I find a better job. Surely there's something that doesn't involve people.

You could become a hermit.

Tried that, I was rubbish at it.

Ugh, I know right. It's not as great as it sounds.