mach three. video.

[tardily]

[ in front of barry is a rather large bowl of candy. it's clear that some candy ( half the bowl ) has been eaten and not just because barry happens to be eating some right when the video starts. call it him getting in the halloween spirit via candy meant for other people. he'll buy some more later. ]

Halloween is in two days, if I haven't forgotten a day or two or it isn't the wrong day. I know a reasonable amount of us are adults who are too adult to dress up or if we do dress up it's just for maybe a costume party. And those of us who aren't, just don't want to dress up or think they're too mature for it.

[ barry pauses to eat yet another chocolate bar before continuing. ]

But I like to think some of us are kids at heart. You don't have to have superheroes at home, it can apply to just here. Maybe you're a superhero at home and have other ones you just like enough to have thought about what I'm to ask.

My question is one that I only have a chance to ask around Halloween without it being weird and off topic. How many of you have wanted to dress up as a superhero before? And if you already were a superhero, have you ever wanted to dress up as another one. Just for Halloween or a costume party or whatever.

[ a pause and another candy bar is eaten. ]

You don't have to answer if you're too mature but if I'm willing to admit as a 25 year old that I've wanted to do that even today, I think some of you can admit it too. You could even do it on private, I won't tell a soul because it's a little rude to tell other people's secrets. I just want to know because Halloween's supposed to be fun, and it sounds like a fun thing to do.

Comments

[airshow]

Awful defensive for someone who butts into other people's friendly conversations just to disapprove of their hypothetical fashion choices, aren't ya?

[maglevflash]

Awfully smug for someone who ogles younger men.

[airshow]

How old do you think I am?

[maglevflash]

At least mid-forties, if I'm being generous.

[Does she really think he's older? It is a mystery. Her deadpan expression sure doesn't seem like she's giving him shit.]

[airshow]

Thirty one, but that's okay, everyone looked like a grandpa when I was fourteen too.

[maglevflash]

[She's only eleven years younger than you!]

We all know middle aged divas lie about their age. Your secret's safe with me.

[airshow]

I'm sorry, did I say fourteen? I meant twelve.

[maglevflash]

[What, is James still in high school?!]

You know that would make Barry like, sixteen, right?

[IS THIS YOUR HOBBY? Puppy faced teenagers in daisy dukes?]

[airshow]

I mean you, squirt, you're the twelve year old in this poorly conceived insult scenario, try to keep up.

[maglevflash]

And if I'm twelve, that would make Barry about sixteen. I know I'm too fast for you, but you could at least try.

[airshow]

No, no, look, kid, Barry's age is tied to mine, not yours, on account of like, dimension hopping rules and whatever.

[maglevflash]

We're all from different dimensions, so your argument is invalid.

[airshow]

Different, sure, but some are more different than others.

[maglevflash]

And unless you came from the same world he does, the rules won't apply.

[airshow]

Ehhh, kinda sorta not really but a little bit. Like a side world. Total thing back where I'm from. Like, y'know, the "Mirror, Mirror" episode of Star Trek, but with fewer goatees.

[maglevflash]

A side world in which your version of Barry Allen is probably a different age entirely than this Barry Allen. Therefore his age isn't attached to yours and thus untouchable.

[airshow]

Do you like, get off on this? Interrupting people's conversations just to argue with them? Barrence and I were having a perfectly lovely discussion about thigh chafing, and now look at this.

[maglevflash]

If thigh chafing counts as a lovely discussion then someone needs to introduce you to leggings.

[airshow]

Done and done, I wear 'em as pants.

[maglevflash]

[At least he HAS pants. She'd been concerned.]

Well there you go, with the right legging-skirt combo he wouldn't have to worry about chafing, would he?

[airshow]

Yeah, but see, that totally subtracts like a dozen sexy points, and since we were initially discussing my hypothetical sexy Flash costume, it's really neither here nor there.

[maglevflash]

So long as it stay hypothetical.

[A pause.]

Although it completely defeats the purpose if you can't run.

[airshow]

A, now that you said that, I'm totally gonna do it and send you pictures, O Grand High Judgmental Arbiter of Men's Fashion, and B, I can totally run in a skirt, what kind of amateur do you take me for? Anyway, they make this no-chafe thigh cream for that.

[ you brought this up now you have to imagine it ]

[maglevflash]

[Why does she have an active imagination? You're horrible. Just stop.]

Yeah, no. I know he's the Flash but you don't have to take that by all its definitions. In fact it's better you don't. Don't want you to get charged for corruption of minors.

[airshow]

Oh nooooo, legs! Cover your knees and atone for your sins, harlot!