maskormenace | ( video o4 )

[ The man who first appears on the screen is easily recognisable thanks to the very prominent scowl between his brows. People may have seen it before. Usually it comes about when he’s forced to do something like this. In his hands are varying sheets of paper that he rifles through as though to ignore d’Artagnan and his eager camera.

Athos waits a moment, then two, before he sighs. ] Go on then, I know you’re dying to announce it. Let’s not keep them waiting.

[ That’s all the cue d’Artagnan needs. The camera wheels around to show his face, where he’s looking altogether too pleased with himself. ]

We have something to tell you all. [ The camera lingers on his face for a moment and then shifts up, fixing on a sign bearing a symbol that will be familiar to anyone who’s met the Musketeers. D’Artagnan’s voice accompanies the picture. ] We’d like to welcome you to our new offices.

The thing is, we’re Musketeers. This may not be our world, but we’re still able to work. We’d like to help, in the best way we can. And let’s be honest, I was never going to help anyone at the Renaissance Faire.

So, we’re opening an agency of our own.

[ The camera pans around the office itself, showing a mostly wooden interior, a desk, several chairs, and what looks like a modern coffee machine hidden in one corner. There are several doors, including one that leads out to a yard. A couple of horses can briefly be seen there. ]

We want to do our part, here in De Chima. We’re here to protect you. We’ll be your guards, if you need us. We’ll investigate crimes that you bring to us. You can come to us in confidence, and we’ll do all that we can to help you. This is our work, and we want to get back to it.

[ A large hand grasps to reposition the camera and in looms a set of curls and not much else before the camera settles on a desk and Porthos comes into the frame. ]

Not like we get all the praise and glory, despite it being something that’s been well-deserved by our regiment, in my very humble experience. Only, there’s the bit where we take the best. I mean, I’d accept mediocre if I could train it out of you, but I think Athos might have my head first.

[ Which is actually a good point. Athos makes a noise like clearing his throat and waits until one of his companions angles the device again to get him in it. ] We’re taking anyone who wants to learn and seems as if they’d be capable. Men and women. [ And that’s at least one sign that he’s becoming one with the times. And that he’s not as bad as all that, thank you Porthos. ] We only ask that you be over sixteen and that you are prepared to learn. It is not an easy life, you do not make it without dedication. We would expect much of that. But I can guarantee that it is worthwhile. And if you trust us to teach you then you will not be let down.

[ After all that, d’Artagnan pulls the camera back to himself. All of that seriousness has not gotten rid of his excitement. ]

You can let us know if you’re interested. We open for business two weeks from today. If we can help you, you should get in touch.

( nb: the occ information post is here and sign-ups are here. Athos is black, D’Artagnan is teal and Porthos is purple. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You shall have to be my escort, as my current ones have found other, more pressing matters to spend their time on....

[Tinyqueen go.]

Are they intending to ignore you now, Your Majesty? That's terrible of them, it really is.

[ Poor musketeers, getting no quarter here. ]

Well, if I must. I only hope you're prepared for the endless trouble that finds me every other day or so. Do you still have that knife of yours?

But you see how busy they grow, Hawke! I am bereft.

I carry it always, but I have been made quite out of practice.

Out of practice? Oh, we can't have that. Let's see...

[ Let her make a show of thinking with thoughtful thought noises, then: ]

I think I know several spots in Maurtia where we might find a few unscrupulous wretches for you to practice on.

I will grow quite wayward with you.

Soon you'll even be wearing pants, swearing, and drinking in bars, just like a proper lady.

[ ...okay, just the kind of lady Hawke was, but. Shh. ]

Riding astride?

Riding what? [ Oh. Horses. Right. ] Isn't that how you're supposed to ride a horse?

If you're a man-

[A pause. Lucy rides sidesaddle as a form of rebellion anyway, to prove that she as a lady can do anything her brothers can without sacrificing being a lady.

It's very convoluted.]

Or if you're learning.

If you're a man. Pf. [ Scoffing at that. ] Can't say I ever had a horse to begin with, so I wouldn't know.

Well, so it has been told to me. Although they said, too, that girls should not fight, and I do that well, and while riding sidesaddle.

Sidesaddle sounds incredibly inconvenient, though, especially for fighting. Doesn't anyone wear pants in your world? Just normal pants?

Boys.

I think you should just start stealing theirs, then.

They already say I am most like a boy.

Then slap them for being rude and take their pants anyway.

I own trousers here!

Well, it's just something to remember if you end up back home.

( video o4 )

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