video

[performance]

[ SOME NERD is addressing the network today, dressed for fall with a fashionable blue scarf and sipping a cup of coffee. It's been a while. He's feeling chatty. ]

Question! Are there any responsible-ish pseudo-adult figures out there who'd be willing to give driving lessons? Someone — hint, it's me — is turning sixteen in December. Time flies! And I'd also like to fly. Ideally in a hover car. Ideally-er without crashing it into a tree.

Not-question: welcome, newbies! I'm Dick Grayson. I'm a Sagittarius, I like long walks on the beach, computer programming, and electronics repair, I'm totally available for math tutoring, and I microwave a mean Hot Pocket.

And I've been here for about a year and a half, so if you need any questions answered, I can try really, really hard to give you more than just a giant question mark in response, but... well, there are still a lot of question marks. So here are a few quick answers to some common questions. Yes, this is actually happening, no, we don't know what the deal with the Porter is, yes, you really have superpowers now, and no, you don't have to put on a cape. But I totally support you if you do. You're doing important work, and almost everyone looks good in a cape. Science fact.

Comments

[resipiscent]

Uh, not exactly. All I've ever driven is the vespa, that's all. And uh, a spaceship glider thing once back home, but I don't think that counts.

[performance]

It counts for something! That's way cooler than a car!

[resipiscent]

Hah. It was like a five minute thing, I don't know. I was kind of preoccupied.

[performance]

Dude, how are you trying to downplay spaceships?

[resipiscent]

I don't know, I was thinking too hard about beating up the leader of the group we were fighting. So... I just went and did it. In the moment I didn't really think anything of it, but now that I am, it is kinda cool.

[performance]

[ Dick just laughs, disbelieving. ]

Oh my god! What would it take to impress you?

[resipiscent]

Uh, honestly, it depends on the situation. Usually not all that much.

[performance]

Unless spaceships and bad guy fighting are involved?

[resipiscent]

Yeah, exactly. Mostly the second one.

I mean, I'm not saying I'm a good guy. [He's in denial.] But this guy was like... straight-up evil.

[performance]

[ Oh, if only he'd made this post as Robin and could compare notes. ]

How evil are we talking?

[resipiscent]

Like...

[God, he's just waiting for the reaction on this one. Why is it that he always has to explain things from his world so that they'll make sense, but it still confuses everyone anyway?

But Dick is asking so he figures he can give it a shot.]

Okay, well, back home there's these monsters that steal hearts. I mean, not like the... organ, but like, what everyone else here calls "soul". So when you defeat the monster that took it, the heart gets released and the owner can be restored. So this guy and his group were collecting them all into this big... it looked like a moon. They collected them so they couldn't return, so that they could use them for their own ends.

[performance]

[ opens mouth





closes mouth ]

Okay. So then you got a spaceship, and...? [ He kind of mimes a spaceship flying into a moon with both hands. It's awkward. ]

[resipiscent]

[He grins -- sorry, but he was expecting something like that.]

Uh, we got a spaceship and chased him.