003 | video

[stealwithit]

[ Good evening, Masks and Menaces. Tonight, you will be treated (or possibly, weirded out or perplexed) by a video feed of a ~mysterious~ hooded woman, sitting at some dimly lit place with her elbow resting on a table and her chin resting on her hand. She's not looking at the camera directly -- she rarely ever does, because she's obviously too cool for that, but she does have the slightest hint of a smile across her lips. ]

So, I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I figured at this point, anything's fair game.

--and no, I'm not here to read more smutty literature out loud. A girl's gotta have some secrets.

[ said resident secret enigma lady of mystery, Kasumi Goto. ]

Anyway, to all the newbies: welcome. I don't know what you all have been told about this place so far by other people, but all I can really contribute is that it's a wild ride, being here. You may inquire below for more details if you so wish.

To the rest of us: happy new year. And I do mean that sincerely, despite the terrible start we've been off to, so far. I want to say that maybe we'll get a lull again, like we have the other times that something truly offensive has happened -- but word on the street is that the Russians are yelling angrily about something, so I kind of doubt that's going to be the case.

For now, let's just all try to relax, alright? I'm pretty sure stress is bad for your complexion.

... Also, fun fact, but I-- [ she sighs. So maybe she didn't really mean to make this post to address the general masses, because who does that? But because she's so Conflicted about the Worst (or Best?) Anniversary Ever that she needs. Something. Drinks. People to feel all bitter and/or nostalgic with. Mostly she doesn't want to be alone. ]

You know what, I've been here a year, as of today. Officially. So...

I think I speak for most of us -- whether it's because all the pandemonium [ get it? ] has got you needing a little pick-me-up, or because you've also just realized you've been stuck here for a year -- when I say: I need a drink. Or soul food. Or both. I guess that's what I really meant by relax. Let's see if we can actually enjoy something around here, for once. Maybe have a do-over of New Year's?

What're the best bars and food joints around the Porter cities? I've got my favorites picked out, mostly in Heropa and Nonah, but I'm always open to new experiences.

[ come party with space thief, y/n? ]

Comments

[video]

[timecapture]

There are some really good restaurants around Heropa. My personal favorite's the burger joint - but it's got other kinds of foods, too! I'm not old enough to drink yet, so I can't tell you about any bars. Sorry.

[But if she could drink, she just might. Except no. She hates the taste of alcohol.]

[stealwithit]

Not a problem. I wasn't expecting any bar recommendations from any of the underage folk, unless they'd like to be open about their delinquency. But even then -- probably best to keep to yourself and your buddies, right?

[ She winks, although how visible it ends up being is questionable given her hood. Underage drinking isn't such a big deal especially considering Kasumi's résumé, although she'd really rather not get the earful about being a bad influence on the kids and yadda yadda. ]

A burger sounds like it could be good for eating your feelings. But I'm thinking something sweeter, personally...

[akito]

My favourite is the Lucky Cat Café. [ and it's not even all bias! ]

[stealwithit]

Well, yes, Lucky Cat Café should be everyone's favorite.

[ you're welcome, Hamada family ]

[voice]

[thegriffinofdeath]

A year here.

[Anastasya turns this over in her mind for a moment.]

Does that warrant congratulations or condolences?

[voice]

[stealwithit]

Honestly? A bit of both. For every nice thing we get around here, there's about a handful of not-so-nice things, so...

[ audio; ]

[nostalgiabomb]

[ There's a beat of silence from Peter's end, after he connects, but then-- ]

A year? Are you joking? That can't possibly be right. You and me were-- 'cause if that's the case, that would mean--

[ With a plummeting sense of dread, Peter quickly scrolls through his posting history. It's not a particularly prolific history, which means it takes mere seconds before his suspicions are confirmed. Kasumi will be able to pinpoint that exact moment, because he hisses out a word that the translators don't quite pick up. Rigellian, perhaps? Or maybe it was Galadorian? Or maybe it's some fantasy language of Peter's own design? Who knows!

But he repeats, in English this time, ]

A year. [ and he says it with all the enthusiasm of someone being summoned for jury duty. ]

permavoice

[stealwithit]

[ Kasumi's silent on her end, having switched to audio as well, and waits for Peter's realization to dawn upon him. Yep, that's about how it went for her, too. A slow, slow sense of dread, or at least it feels that way, even when it hits you like a ton of bricks. ]

I know. That's what I said.

Happy Anniversary?

voice;

[whathawksdo]

I like to think my couch with junk food and all the booze Mister Stick Up My Ass Tevinter left behind counts as the best place in De Chima, in all honesty.

voice;

[stealwithit]

[ That garners a chuckle from Kasumi. ] It probably is. De Chima doesn't exactly strike me as the place to be for a party.

video;

[amadaman]

It's been a year for you?

video;

[stealwithit]

That it has, Ken. It's... a little surreal.

video

[wasnever]

What, you don't think reading smut is a good way to spend your big anniversary?

[stealwithit]

Hey now, I never said that.

I just wouldn't be reading it out loud on the Network. I'm always up for private readings.

[ aaand wink. ]

Permavid

[governorkang]

It certainly sneaks up on you. I'll hit my two year anniversary in a few months.

[stealwithit]

Oh boy. Two years? I don't know what I'm going to do once I hit plurals. Maybe go on an extended vacation.

video;

[textualhealing]

My favorite bars are any that I get to share with you.

[SMARMIEST OF SMIRKS!]

[stealwithit]

[ She will return with a smirk of her own! Two can play at this game. ]

Not so fast, Winger. You're basically saying you have no favorite bars.

We should fix that.

( video )

[chancetoatone]

[Thane blinks as the feed initializes.]

You've been here a year? Has it really been so long, Kasumi?

[stealwithit]

It has, Thane. Which means it's been even longer for you, huh?

[VIDEO]

[calibrating]

Just gonna say what we're all thinking, here:

When doesn't one of us need a drink?

[stealwithit]

Careful, Garrus. I think we're starting to sound like raging alcoholics. And that could literally be lethal, in your case.

video;

[cleptes]

There's always the Moolah Rouge in Maurtia Falls. I haven't been out much since New Year's but that's because of work.

[Yes, it was so difficult having to work for a living as an antiques dealer...not.]

I'm sure you will be inundated with offers, Kasumi.

[A smile.]

[stealwithit]

The Moolah Rouge. I can't believe I haven't gone there yet. If you've been working so much since New Year's, maybe it's time for to let loose a little?

[ She smiles back. ]

What a flattering thing to say -- thank you. Did you take that trip you wanted to go on?

Video

[kanadian]

Are you sure you don't need a drink? Or something to eat?

Because... it sounds like you might.

[stealwithit]

Oh, I absolutely do.

[ She's not even going to hide it. ]

Any chance you've gotten some practice with those presents Santa gave you this Christmas?

[ Yes, Santa, because obviously it was not Kasumi ok ]

video

[justimom]

[ Samara tilts her head slightly and offers something akin to a soft smile. ] Time does have a way of moving fast in this place. It is difficult to believe it has been a full year or more for some of us.

video

[stealwithit]

Tell me about it. You've been here longer than I have, Samara.

[ She mirrors the Justicar's smile with one of her own. ]

I'm amazed by how quickly time flew considering we're all stuck here. Out in space, it's so much easier to lose track of time...

[video]

[booyahh]

No smutty literature? What a disappointment! I'm crushed by that and just ...what am I going to do now? How will I go on without the second hand embarrassment that caused?

[video]

[stealwithit]

I mean, if you really want to, we can have our own smutty literature night and make fun of all the terrible prose we subjected ourselves to reading.