Video

[runningstart]

Arright people, it's crunch time. I need your input on this critical issue: What graduation present should I buy myself?

Here are the options:
A) One pet rat
B) Two pet rats
3) As many discount 'grow your own crystal' science kits as my powerful masculine arms can carry so that I can grow a crystal statue in the likeness of Beyonce Knowles
And D) Two pet rats and a box of donuts for dinner


Also since it's finals season I'm offering my services to help people cram for any of the sciences. I can do up to college year whatever because I'm a genius. My rates are the low low price of buy me dinner.

Comments

[runningstart]

This is absolutely a rite of passage! You can't truly enter adulthood properly until you've grown your own crystals.

What color do you want? -nevermind don't answer that, I'm getting everything.

[resipiscent]

Right, then. I'll bring some donuts.

[runningstart]

Oh my god Riku, marry me.

-well, marry me and Beyonce. My crystal Beyonce. I'm pretty sure it's legal to marry the crystal likeness of a celebrity in some country around here.

[resipiscent]

Is it legal to marry you and a crystal statue at a same time?

[runningstart]

Bro, dude, I will petition for this as long as it takes. Nothing can deny my love for you and Crystalyonce.

[resipiscent]

Right, then. Will we have donuts at the ceremony? Because that's important.

[runningstart]

I'm gonna ask that shop if they'll cater the whole reception. We're gonna have more donuts than we'll know what to do with.

...okay that's not true, we'll know what to do with them. But we'll still have a ton.

[resipiscent]

We'll have enough to make another statue.

[runningstart]

Uh that's not what I was getting it, I was thinking more like. Make ourselves sick eating all of them. Well, I mean, you'll get sick. I'll just enjoy it.

[resipiscent]

Yeah, but you make a statue with them as a method of containment, and then you eat the statue. [A beat.] ... Why am I gonna get sick and you aren't?

[runningstart]

Because I hyper-metabolize food so I never get full.

I mean, unless you do that too. But then we're gonna need a lot more donuts.

[resipiscent]

Ah, I got it. Nope, fortunately, I don't. Easier on the wallet.

[runningstart]

You're telling me.

[resipiscent]

[Well, there's always nullifiers.]

Heh. Well, I'll bring you some donuts.