maskormenace

[ On the screen is a magnificent tiger with golden eyes, regarding the camera with quite a bit of what looks to be amusement, if you're prone to anthropomorphizing animals. After a moment, that tiger speaks - and speaks with a very human voice, a light and girlish voice with a South London accent. And who else speaks like that? This is, of course, one Kitty Jones, living up to her name. ]

Hullo, all. Happy - slightly belated - Earth Day. I hadn't known about that holiday last year, so I didn't do a thing for it, but it's really a lovely thing, isn't it? So, a day, late, I'm doing a little charity drive, and I need all of you to participate. Proceeds going to the protection of the leaf-scaled sea snake, because no one ever bloody donates money to help species that aren't cute.

[ The leaf-scaled sea snake is also quite venomous. Y'know. Whatever. ]

So what this consists of is this. I want you to volunteer here, in this post, to answer questions from fans on rumblr. Give me a list of topics you're not willing to talk about, as well as how many questions you're willing to answer. Then your rumblr fans - or enemies, I suppose, maybe some of them will want to trap you in a lie or something - will bid on the opportunity to ask you questions. Whichever fan puts in the highest bid gets the right to ask the first question, then the second-highest bid gets second question, all down until you don't want to answer any more stupid questions. And then all the proceeds go to the sea snakes.

So who's in? Talk about yourself, help the environment. What's not to like?

[ That's all said very, very cheerfully. Then, in a flippant post-script, she adds: ]

Oh, yeah, I'm not dead, by the way.

[ Which is so nice! so kind! such a good way to announce that! a month and a half after she already came back from the dead! nice. ]

[ ooc: this post is just like what it says! You can comment here to have your character get asked dumb questions by rumblr fans. Please tell me the questions you want asked in notes in your comments!! Or I will be making up terrible questions. Fair warning.

edited to add: also if your character would bid to ask other characters shitty questions, feel free to threadjump their thread ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nothin' makes me uncomfortable -- but bein' a shrink isn't my racket, just 'cause I work for one.

So why are you complaining about it so much? If you don't care.

[ Still absolutely placid. ]

I'm just pointing it out, not--! Why would I care about anything that happens to you?! [ He exhales defensively. ] Like, don't flatter yourself, Whiskers.

[ He pauses, then adds, still huffily: ]

These questions better count, by the way.

Whiskers? What, do you think you're insulting me by calling me Whiskers? My whiskers are my best feature. Along with my ears, tail, nose, paws, and claws.

[ The last she demonstrates, a massive paw held up to the camera. ]

And sorry, they don't count. Thanks for volunteering, though. More questions will be incoming in a moment...

Not saying it ain't an improvement, but what's with the furry look anyway?

[ Then he frowns and rolls his eyes, sitting back slightly. ]

Right, I forgot how much you just like interrogating me. Honestly, it's almost flattering. [ He didn't expect them to count, though, so... ] Fine, whatever.

I've got a new power. Shapeshifting.

[ And just to prove it, she turns into a tiny itty-bitty dragon. ]

Jealous?

Well, since I'm attractive I don't see why I should be -- what good does turning into a bunch of stinking animals do anybody?

There's more to life than attractiveness.

[ She becomes a little jewel-colored dragonfly. ]

Sex, power, money-- and what else?

[ With a little laugh - ]

You really can't think of anything?

[ He pauses, eyebrows furrowing -- jeez, this is one of those trick questions, isn't it? The kind they put on those stupid internet quizzes.

Shit, what's the right way to answer? ]

Like what, love?

[ Another laugh. With amusement: ]

If you believe in love, I guess.

What, don't you?

It's still up in the air for me. It's sweet that you do, though.

Don't patronize me. [ Huffily: ] Real doesn't mean important -- it's just one of those emotions people are supposed to be able to feel or else something's wrong with them.

So do you think love is an emotion, then? Like fear or happiness?

Jeez, I don't know -- so what is it, then?

[ Rather cheerily: ] I don't know. I don't know if I believe in it. I was hoping to hear from someone who's had the experience of being in love.

What would that prove? It's just a feeling... there's not like, a science to it.

It wouldn't prove anything. I'm not looking to prove anything. I'm just curious.

If anything I'd say it's more like a few emotions rolled into one.

I mean hate's real, so why wouldn't love be?

Hm. Is hate real? I've rather started wondering about that, to be honest.

... You're acting goddamn weird, you know that? Is that what dying does to you?

Oh, I've had a great deal more than just death happen to me.

[ He scoffs. ]

C'mon, who hasn't? It's not like you turned into a zombie or something.

VIDEO.

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