maskormenace

[ On the screen is a magnificent tiger with golden eyes, regarding the camera with quite a bit of what looks to be amusement, if you're prone to anthropomorphizing animals. After a moment, that tiger speaks - and speaks with a very human voice, a light and girlish voice with a South London accent. And who else speaks like that? This is, of course, one Kitty Jones, living up to her name. ]

Hullo, all. Happy - slightly belated - Earth Day. I hadn't known about that holiday last year, so I didn't do a thing for it, but it's really a lovely thing, isn't it? So, a day, late, I'm doing a little charity drive, and I need all of you to participate. Proceeds going to the protection of the leaf-scaled sea snake, because no one ever bloody donates money to help species that aren't cute.

[ The leaf-scaled sea snake is also quite venomous. Y'know. Whatever. ]

So what this consists of is this. I want you to volunteer here, in this post, to answer questions from fans on rumblr. Give me a list of topics you're not willing to talk about, as well as how many questions you're willing to answer. Then your rumblr fans - or enemies, I suppose, maybe some of them will want to trap you in a lie or something - will bid on the opportunity to ask you questions. Whichever fan puts in the highest bid gets the right to ask the first question, then the second-highest bid gets second question, all down until you don't want to answer any more stupid questions. And then all the proceeds go to the sea snakes.

So who's in? Talk about yourself, help the environment. What's not to like?

[ That's all said very, very cheerfully. Then, in a flippant post-script, she adds: ]

Oh, yeah, I'm not dead, by the way.

[ Which is so nice! so kind! such a good way to announce that! a month and a half after she already came back from the dead! nice. ]

[ ooc: this post is just like what it says! You can comment here to have your character get asked dumb questions by rumblr fans. Please tell me the questions you want asked in notes in your comments!! Or I will be making up terrible questions. Fair warning.

edited to add: also if your character would bid to ask other characters shitty questions, feel free to threadjump their thread ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ With a little laugh: ]

I didn't know that you'd even put forethought into it. I rather thought that the whole thing came out of convenience more than anything else.

Convenient is about the last word I'd use to describe you.

[ With some amusement: ]

I think I'm offended.

I was thinking you should be flattered. Convenient is a horrible thing to be.

Well, but if I'm not convenient, I'm inconvenient, right?

Hardly. Picking someone for convenience means that anyone would do for the same purpose. That isn't the case at all.

[ Her ears flick just a little. ]

I know. You like me because I tease you.

I do like people who tease me, [ he admits. ]

And there aren't so many people who do that...Which is weird, because you are so cute when you're flustered.

I don't let them see me flustered, you realize. I can control that reaction.

You oughtn't. No one could resist you if they just knew how cute you were.

That sounds perfectly awful.

You don't want to be irresistible?

God, no. I put up with enough attention as it is. That's the last thing I need.

[ Flirtily: ]

So you don't like that I can't resist you?

[ Firmly, ] You absolutely can resist me, you just decide not to. That's one of my favorite things about you.

[ With a laugh: ]

Are you quite sure? I've never tried. I'm not sure I could.

I'm positive. There's just been insufficient incentive, and I'm not inclined to provide more.

Ooh, that could be a sexy game.

... Trying to make you resist me?

You doing your best seduction techniques.

[ That's much better than wherever else he'd thought she might be going with this, but it's terrible in a much more benign way. He instantly goes awkward and recalcitrant. ]

I don't have seduction techniques.

[ Her whiskers flick in amusement. ]

Oh, yeah? So what are we calling it when you seduce me, then?

[ Pause.

Helplessly, ] Accidental?

[ That makes her giggle. He has good comic timing. Accidentally, perhaps. ]

Oh, so that's all just instinct. You're just a natural, is it.

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