video

[rathercommon]

[ On the screen is a magnificent tiger with golden eyes, regarding the camera with quite a bit of what looks to be amusement, if you're prone to anthropomorphizing animals. After a moment, that tiger speaks - and speaks with a very human voice, a light and girlish voice with a South London accent. And who else speaks like that? This is, of course, one Kitty Jones, living up to her name. ]

Hullo, all. Happy - slightly belated - Earth Day. I hadn't known about that holiday last year, so I didn't do a thing for it, but it's really a lovely thing, isn't it? So, a day, late, I'm doing a little charity drive, and I need all of you to participate. Proceeds going to the protection of the leaf-scaled sea snake, because no one ever bloody donates money to help species that aren't cute.

[ The leaf-scaled sea snake is also quite venomous. Y'know. Whatever. ]

So what this consists of is this. I want you to volunteer here, in this post, to answer questions from fans on rumblr. Give me a list of topics you're not willing to talk about, as well as how many questions you're willing to answer. Then your rumblr fans - or enemies, I suppose, maybe some of them will want to trap you in a lie or something - will bid on the opportunity to ask you questions. Whichever fan puts in the highest bid gets the right to ask the first question, then the second-highest bid gets second question, all down until you don't want to answer any more stupid questions. And then all the proceeds go to the sea snakes.

So who's in? Talk about yourself, help the environment. What's not to like?

[ That's all said very, very cheerfully. Then, in a flippant post-script, she adds: ]

Oh, yeah, I'm not dead, by the way.

[ Which is so nice! so kind! such a good way to announce that! a month and a half after she already came back from the dead! nice. ]


[ ooc: this post is just like what it says! You can comment here to have your character get asked dumb questions by rumblr fans. Please tell me the questions you want asked in notes in your comments!! Or I will be making up terrible questions. Fair warning.

edited to add: also if your character would bid to ask other characters shitty questions, feel free to threadjump their thread ]

Comments

[rathercommon]

How did you do that?

[brushoff]

Well, I don't know how they work in your world, but in mine, golems are fundamentally Hebrew. They're brought to life by an inscription on their forehead: the word 'emet', meaning 'truth.' In order to stop it, you need to change the inscription to 'met', meaning 'death.' A bit of a tricky task when the golem's rampaging, but we managed to make it happen.

[rathercommon]

[ A little grunt. ]

In mine, you've got to pull the scroll that gives it life from its mouth. Which is also a tricky task when it's rampaging.

[brushoff]

It seems that golems being nearly impossible to stop is a constant of multiple worlds, [ said with a small little laugh. ] Good design for the golems, rubbish design for us.

[rathercommon]

Mm. Especially 'cause - Well. In my world, golems also are magic sinks. So they destroy any spirits that get near 'em. Meaning that only humans can actually take one on directly. And most humans aren't willing to.

[brushoff]

Now that's interesting. My world doesn't have spirits like yours, so the golems are just...well, they're golems.

[rathercommon]

Yeah. I read up on them, once - I guess they were created originally to defend the Jewish sector of Prague against the magicians that oppressed them. Hence the magic-destroying properties.

[ She gives a little shudder. ]

But I think they're also...sinks for all sorts of energy, or something. When you touch them, it's just...cold. Achingly cold.

[brushoff]

Mine were as well! [ Dorian can't help but muse, with a little frown. ] Though, they were created to defend the Jewish areas of Prague against antisemitic physical attacks, not magic.

[ That's just WEIRD. ]

Likewise, the golem I encountered was cold. But not in an achingly sort of way. The coldness that you get when you step barefoot into a mud puddle, when your feet touch the cool ground. That sort of cold.

[rathercommon]

[ A little sardonically, a lot bitterly: ]

Oh, I'm sure that if your world had discovered magic, they'd have used that to kick around the Jewish community instead. Whatever's most destructive, right.

[ A huffed sigh. ]

Was it covered in shadows?

[brushoff]

If my world made magic public knowledge, you mean. There are some aspects of my world that I'd deem magical, but they're kept relatively quiet.

[ Like, you know, Dorian himself. ]

But it wasn't. It was muddy more than anything else.

[rathercommon]

So were you the one to defeat it?

[ Speaking of Dorian's immortality. ]

[brushoff]

Indeed I was.

[rathercommon]

Why did you?

[brushoff]

It was ruining my afternoon.

[ said with a frown. There's more than that (it was causing chaos, attacking people, and Dottie wanted him to help) but he's nooooot telling Kitty that. ]

[rathercommon]

So you risked pain and misfortune and all that to stop it ruining your afternoon.

[brushoff]

Well of course I did. [ DUH, KITTY. ] It was a lovely afternoon.

[rathercommon]

Not to help people, or because there was danger.

[brushoff]

[ Like fuck he's gonna admit to Kitty that part of it was to help people & there was danger. ]

It was a really lovely afternoon.