maskormenace | audio;

[you can hear the ambient noise of a restaurant in the background.]

Well! Now that I've figured out how this device works, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Hans, Prince of the Southern Isles and fellow imPort. I've met some of you at the party-oh, let me just swap this to the video for a moment.

[And then, he fiddles for a moment and manages to turn the video on: Hans is sitting in what looks like a restaurant-decidedly not the Hard Rock Cafe (though the eagle-eyed viewer can catch the edges of the Hard Rock Cafe logo on his black work polo. He's broadcasting this from his lunch break.]

Is it working? It should be working. [He shrugs, waves at the camera, then clicks it back off, swapping to audio.]

Anyway, it's become more and more obvious to me that I know next to nothing about this land. So, I'd appreciate any knowledge about customs and traditions of America. I already know about your president, thanks to Nelson, but what about your courts, your military strength, what it takes to get married, things like that?

[why yes he deliberately picked that last topic, sorry not sorry Anna.]

Any information would be appreciated!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Kristoff Bjorgman. I, uh... I got suckered into taking her up the North Mountain, brought her back down. You know, that whole deal.

The wolves in the woods, so that's when we were outrunning them.

It's nice to meet you Kristoff. [there's a pause, and then as important sounding as he can muster.] Ah, thank you for keeping my fiancee safe and not eaten by wolves. The Southern Isles thanks you.

[yeah, he just sounded a bit ridiculous there.]

Riiight. Yeah.

Tell 'em I said "you're welcome."

If we ever get back home, I will.

[a pause, before Hans barrels on talking.] You said you had a sled. What did you do back home?

I sell ice. [ Or, you know... ] Well, I did.

[there's an audible wincing noise.] Not good business right now, then.

[ No shit. ]

Yeah. It's unfortunate.

Well...maybe you can have a job here dealing with ice?

I drive a Zamboni.

...a what?

[yeah, he's just confused over here.]

It's an, um, an 'ice resurfacing machine.' It's at an ice skating rink, so it's just... Not actually a lake or anything, just a layer of ice on the floor, and the blades of the skates cut into it, you know, and it's gotta be fixed. So this machine has this huge razor blade that shaves of the surface, and then it puts down water, and that freezes, and... There ya go. Smooth ice.

[ He actually kinda likes his job. He's still made that freezers are a thing, but hey, at least the Zamboni's neat. ]

Well, I'm definitely going to have to see that. [because whoa, that sounds cool.] Mind if I drop in on your job sometime in the next few days?

... uh. Well, I guess-- I mean, the place is open during the day, you know, so you can come if you want. Sure.

Wonderful! [yaaay ice skating! yaaay being affected by the pep virus!] I suppose I'll see you there, then.

[ Yaaay. :| ]

Right. Sure thing.

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