maskormenace | audio;

[you can hear the ambient noise of a restaurant in the background.]

Well! Now that I've figured out how this device works, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Hans, Prince of the Southern Isles and fellow imPort. I've met some of you at the party-oh, let me just swap this to the video for a moment.

[And then, he fiddles for a moment and manages to turn the video on: Hans is sitting in what looks like a restaurant-decidedly not the Hard Rock Cafe (though the eagle-eyed viewer can catch the edges of the Hard Rock Cafe logo on his black work polo. He's broadcasting this from his lunch break.]

Is it working? It should be working. [He shrugs, waves at the camera, then clicks it back off, swapping to audio.]

Anyway, it's become more and more obvious to me that I know next to nothing about this land. So, I'd appreciate any knowledge about customs and traditions of America. I already know about your president, thanks to Nelson, but what about your courts, your military strength, what it takes to get married, things like that?

[why yes he deliberately picked that last topic, sorry not sorry Anna.]

Any information would be appreciated!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You enlist. I did, although in times of war the country might institute a draft to ensure they get all men fit to serve recruited for the cause. That's assuming they are fit, there are requirements one must meet as well as examinations to ensure everyone's in the appropriate physical condition.

[ He almost leaves it at that, but then, because this is obviously the next logical conclusion, he bursts out: ]

If you were ever to consider it I'd be more than happy to help train you! I might not fully look it but I'm still quite fit even now, you'd be in very good hands!

Well, I wouldn't want to join the Marines, but I'd love training! [HANS, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SIGNING UP FOR.]

I'd say that I'm fairly fit, but there's no harm in getting stronger!

[ JUST DON'T LET HIM TRAIN YOU WHILE FULL OF VIRUS ENERGY, HANS. Or do, at least all that energy can go to good use.

Anyway!! Enthusiastic hand-clapping!! ]

We could get started right away! Oh, but I've got to put a regimen together-- well, maybe we could still-- it'll be terrific, I tell you, nothing invigorates you more, it does a body well no matter how fit you are, though you most certainly are, but as you said, there's never any harm in going the extra mile!

[RAH RAH GO TEAM ENERGY.]

That sounds wonderful! Yes, let's get started right away! I'll- [oh wait, work, that 'earning money' thing.] Well, let's get started once I'm done with work for the day.

[ They could be their own cheer squad. ]

Right! That's plenty of time for me to get a whole routine together, just you wait, Prince Hans, I'll make sure it's the most rigorous and rewarding experience of your life! We could even make it a regular occurrence if you decide you can keep it up!

We'll train together and get stronger! That's a wonderful idea!

[ He claps his hands together again. ]

That's the spirit! I love your sort of enthusiasm, Prince Hans, I'm sure with that sort of attitude you'll be in fit shape in no time at all!

Thank you, Nelson! And I'm sure that you'll be a great trainer!

I won't let you down! You'll have to let me know if I'm too rough on you, of course. Tiring out early would do us no good at all.

[ Spirited laugh!! Just. Sorry, Hans. ]

Oh, I doubt that would happen.

[this will end up with someone in the emergency room, won't it.]

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