maskormenace | audio;

[you can hear the ambient noise of a restaurant in the background.]

Well! Now that I've figured out how this device works, I should probably introduce myself. My name is Hans, Prince of the Southern Isles and fellow imPort. I've met some of you at the party-oh, let me just swap this to the video for a moment.

[And then, he fiddles for a moment and manages to turn the video on: Hans is sitting in what looks like a restaurant-decidedly not the Hard Rock Cafe (though the eagle-eyed viewer can catch the edges of the Hard Rock Cafe logo on his black work polo. He's broadcasting this from his lunch break.]

Is it working? It should be working. [He shrugs, waves at the camera, then clicks it back off, swapping to audio.]

Anyway, it's become more and more obvious to me that I know next to nothing about this land. So, I'd appreciate any knowledge about customs and traditions of America. I already know about your president, thanks to Nelson, but what about your courts, your military strength, what it takes to get married, things like that?

[why yes he deliberately picked that last topic, sorry not sorry Anna.]

Any information would be appreciated!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Alternia, and I got full sowereign rule ower the domains a hope, truth, and the purest empiricist forces a knowledge. [ 1000% serious about that one. ] Since I been here - or been in the last uniwerse, whatewer, it carries ower probably - I also got a clawhold as the sole ruler of Atlantis, only dignitary for the Alternian rulin' class, and I sorta sawed all a humanity one time, so I count that one too.

I'm basically a master at bein' a prince.

[there's a small pause because wow Eridan, even Hans can see that you're full of yourself.] How can you rule over hope?

By bein' a righteous mawen of the truest sciences, a course.

[ OBVVIOUSLY. ]

Wouldn't expect a dirtscrubber landprince like yourself to get it, don't go strainin' yourself.

Well, maybe you could explain it to me, then?

...Uh.

[ beat. ]

Well, it's actually kinda complex. Paradox space multi-uniwersal fuckin' shenanigans kinda complex. You sure you got time for that?

I think so.

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audio; I'M SO GLAD (AND GOT IT)

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