text, memeing it up

[rathercommon]

Hullo, all.

So...The days are short, the air is cold (except in Heropa), and all of us are struggling with lingering embarrassment from all those mis-sent texts. So, to give us all a bit of cheer, and in recognition of all the holidays we've constructed to help us deal with winter, I thought we all could give one another a bit of love.

So! How does this work, then? Well -

1. Go ahead and post your name in this post.
2. People respond to you with things they like about you, lovely moments you've shared, et cetera.
3. You go out and respond to others with things you like about them.
4. NO BEING AWFUL. Do NOT give backhanded compliments or secretly troll people or things like that. The point of this is to be good to one another. Go be good to one another!

Comments

[deadtective]

[there, much better.



clearly she's not taking the right tack here, as much as she would love to keep blasting obscenities until either Josuke or the post goes up in flames. time for the classic strategy of 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.']

Well, I mean, that's nothing compared to you. I've never met a guy as happy to take it up the ass as you are! That's super adventurous.

[unbreaker]

[hey HEY HEY

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK HAZEL

what the fuck]

yeah well from what i hear you're in love

[deadtective]

[MISSION SUCCESSFUL

she's so pleased at having turned this dumpster fire around that, just for the moment, Hazel doesn't even care that his return salvo means that he's probably seen that heinous conversation she had with Mabel.]

Ooooh, you must have damn good hearing! That's another really nice quality of yours. ;)

But I don't think you've met the guy, so it doesn't really matter. We're talking about you, not me!

[unbreaker]

oh
oh i know
and i'm talking about you

what i'm saying is you've got a BIG heart
you're loving and kind and accepting of others, too

and all of that REALLY emphasizes your fearlessness
because falling in love is the greatest adventure of all, hazel. the greatest.
which makes YOU great, too.

but you wanna know what the best part is?
you don't let it go to your head.
people can shower you with compliments all through the day
they can call you a great kisser, say you're gorgeous, or that you're really romantic deep down and super creative and inspirational
or that you're supportive and something of an unexpected hero but those are the best kinds because they don't ask for rewards
and you don't get all puffed up over it!

the guy you landed is really lucky to have you :)

[This is war. And it's been won.]

[deadtective]

ghfkj

[that keysmash? sent by Hazel's foot bashing into her keyboard as she physically recoils from the comm as if it were about to explode in her face. Josuke's words certainly do far more damage than an actual weapon could ever hope to do, what with the way she's covered her head with her hands and started shrieking.

this is what total defeat feels like. she hasn't tasted this since her resurrection, facing down the complete inevitability of being bound to another's uncaring will. it's just as bitter to swallow as before - perhaps even more so now, because she's absolutely certain that he means every word.

how long had he been holding onto this..? or had he just freestyled it here and now, pulling from the heart? Hazel is in such a tizzy that she can't even settle on which answer is worse.]

i never want to see you again ever in any life of mine





also delete this someone's gonna see it

[the blow is so devastating that she can't even pretend she wasn't effected. only the knowledge that a total lack of response would be an even more grievous injury has her edging warily back to the comm, and even that is barely enough.

she can only hope that she'll be able to hold on long enough to regain her senses to attempt to pick the fight up anew. not as if she has any idea of how to overcome something like this in the first place, of course.]

[unbreaker]

i've got some bad news






i'm blind remember? i can't find the delete button

[Was he saving this up? Absolutely. Was it still spur of the moment despite that? You're damn right it was. There's no practicing to be ready to compliment Hazel Lockwood. It's simply do...or die trying. Probably with her fingers up your nose or lodged into your eye sockets and her foot driving into your crotch like a teeny-tiny sledgehammer.

God bless the security of the internet.]

[deadtective]

then delete yourself

[what does she do? what does she doooooo?

the only thing that Hazel finds herself capable of doing aside from fighting the urge to tear herself limb from limb in embarrassment is...scrolling back up to look at that response over and over.

it's the worst possible course of action, but she can't help it. Josuke thinks all that about her. it's complete confirmation of his abject stupidity - but also so exhilarating that she can practically feel her bones liquefying. it's the only excuse she has for the way she flops sideways onto her bed, comm clutched tight in her hands so she can keep peeking.]

[unbreaker]

[Not only does Josuke mean everything he's said, but there's more where that came from.

A lot more, in fact.

Which is to be expected when they've overcome so much together, quite literally from the moment they met to every adventure thereafter. And there have been a lot.

The scariest and most exciting being their relationship. Which, despite all odds, beating all expectation, has endured and even seems to be thriving...and Josuke's proud of that. Proud of them. Which might be why he's able to say these things publicly without having the same kind of mental breakdown Hazel's having.

And the fact he knows she'll buckle under so much unabashed affection? Definitely one he's basking in a little at the moment...but also the reason he's reining it in there.]

who'd pick up your pieces then?

[...reining it in a little, anyway.]

[deadtective]

[a little bit of a recording breaking avalanche is still enough to cover a small town!! true to form, Hazel is completely ungrateful for this show of restraint from her wonderful boyfriend.]

nobody, cause there wouldnt be anyone to fucking break me in the first place

[she still hasn't been able to find her capitalization or punctuation, after all. there are currently a lot of pieces sitting unpicked-up.

would she want that, though? no petty battles or strong arm to lean on through the worst of storms? absolutely not. Hazel doesn't even have to consider that answer - and she knows that he knows her well enough to read through her pathetic little tantrum here. there's no bite to this reply at all.

it's alright. a little shattering here and there was an easy price to pay for having someone who not only saw her in the purest sense of the word, but loved it as well.

...it would be even more fine if she could find a way to turn this back on him, but that's something she's still trying to wring out of her soggy useless mind.]

[unbreaker]

[As much fun as Josuke's having getting Hazel riled up, he's glad to know the depth of his feelings actually mean that much to her. Not that he ever doubted, or anything. For all that they wrestle each other on every topic and in every situation, Hazel has never failed to demonstrate how much she cares for her boyfriend. Not once.]

well i got some more bad news, it seems i don't have a delete button! you're stuck with me.

[That might sound like a threat, but it's actually a promise. He's not going anywhere.]

[deadtective]

bullshit i am, youre super easy to get rid of

[he's not, actually, and she loves that about him. it's a silent promise that eases any fear that crops up when she feels as if she's crossed a line or shoved back at him too forcefully. he can't be chased away, not even by her.

he can be locked in the basement for a while, though, and that's the basis of her sulky retort here. being in love with him doesn't mean that Hazel wants to see his face for the next fifty years after this bullshit stunt.]

[unbreaker]

if it's so easy why haven't you done it yet?

[Too bad she'll see his face in just a matter of hours. But at least he'll be giving her something to laugh about then.]

[deadtective]

Wanna see how far I can string you along, I guess.

[the lack of anything completely unmanageable thrown her way has given Hazel the ability to finally locate her shift button. oh sweet day of days.

she's even sort of bantering back at him! that's definite progress, although she unfortunately has no idea that she'll actually be happy to see him instead of sour when he drops by today. it's the sweet surprises in life, I guess.]

[unbreaker]

to be honest i think it's more that you like having me around!

[helpline]

[ oh my gosh you kids, he will take the pictures and straight up be prom dad when you go out to prom. ]

I want a picture of the two of you for my wallet, by the way.
Playing the grandpa card.

[unbreaker]

[make sure to get his best side, prom dad! and capture the beauty that is hazel's screeching like a wild animal!]

i think i got one of us from during the sharknado, i can totally make you a copy

[Hazel is really hard to photograph. In that even if you can capture her on camera, she'll be liable to destroy the evidence. But that one time rescuing sharks was a crowning moment for her and she's pretty proud of that, Josuke thinks. Which is why the photo still exists. Probably. That or it's the little corner he tore off to make sure he'd always be able to get it back if she somehow stole it from him.]

[helpline]

Exactly what I want to hear!
you're good enough for Hazel, by the way. Grandpa approves.

[ now he is doing this ENTIRELY just to get Hazel's goat and drive her bananas. HA HA, HE APPROVES OF THIS RELATIONSHIP THAT'S TOTALLY HAPPENING. ]

[unbreaker]

[Even if it's to get under Hazel's skin, Josuke's as proud as can be at the approval. Neeerd!]

thanks!

i'm glad she's got you looking out for her!

[helpline]

Someone's got to when you're not around.

[deadtective]

[by the time Hazel gets down here and notices this little line of dialogue, you'd think that she'd be mentally tired enough to just scream into her pillow and let it be.

you'd think that. but when it comes to her relationship, she always has enough energy to put up a fight.]

Nobody asked you.

[also, the Doctor's wallet is going to have a horrible accident in the garbage disposal the moment he slots that cursed photograph inside it. probably Josuke's wallet too, just to prove a point.]

[helpline]

And yet I'm here anyway.

[ HA HA, HAVE FUN BEING FLUSTERED. ]

[deadtective]

Not my fault you're an inconsiderate fuck.

[SHE REFUSES]

[helpline]

Well we know that already.

[ SUCK IT UUUUUUUUUUUUP ]

[deadtective]

[SHE REFUSES]

And you know where the exit is too, so get packing.

[helpline]

When have i ever done what you wanted me to do?